AWBU blended family drama

[Shawaddywaddeee]

So myself and my partner thought it would be nice to take our older kids away (without the younger ones)
On an all expenses paid holiday.
So we can go out have a laugh etc without having to be in early for the lil ones.

They agreed they'd love to go so we did our research and booked Marbella .

To our shock we've been told the location is chavvy and we're shit parents because we didn't ask where they wanted to go.

But we genuinely thought we'd taken all their own personal needs into consideration and got a great deal!

It's cost us £4000 (all inclusive) and they are saying they're not coming!

My partner is so upset because we were so excited and looking forward to having some quality time with the older kids but have been met with utter discontent :(

They are 20, 20, 18

Have we fucked up here or are they acting like spoilt brats?

If surprises are so wonderful why didn’t you give them a budget and let them book it to surprise you?

Great.

Hope you all agree something nice that you all like.

I don’t think it’s jealousy at all. It doesn’t matter if Marbella is an attractive option for some, it isn’t for others and the OP’s stepchildren fall into the latter group. For the same price OP could have found a location that worked for all of them.

I should add that my DD went to Marbella with her friend for her friends 18th. My DD knows the area well having spent many holidays in her grandparents holiday home in a town not far from there. ( grandmother is spanish) She knows where the nice restaurants are, areas to avoid and the best place for churros in the old town.
My DD likes the nice things in life and is very fussy about where she goes and posts everything on insta and certainly doesn't find marbella 'chavy'.

It will be interesting to see how the new Ikos resort does as they are real middle class go to resorts only this one is very close to a Marbella.

My child is 2 so can’t really ask what they want but what a nasty post. Why does asking someone what they want for Christmas equate to getting into debt?! I’d rather people liked what I bought them then expect people to be grateful for receiving something they don’t want or need.

It's in estepona and it's always fully booked

This is what I'm now thinking hence why we're going to sit down with all the kids and try to discuss any underlying issues

They're not kids they're adults. Imo it's completely inappropriate and weird to book a holiday for them without even asking them. Its coming from a good place and they were very unpleasant about it but you're all in the wrong from where I'm standing.

I think that's a good idea. I suspect this isn't really about the holiday.

Sounds like you have a good plan to sort it out with them OP.

Don't forget for some of us the holiday planning is a huge amount of the fun of a holiday too. So you can all have fun with that!

Jesus fucking christ. We get it. You think OP is the stepmom from hell. How many posts do you need to wildly exaggerate and make shit up? It’s fucking tedious and we can all see what you’re doing.

At 20 they should be paying for their own blood holiday! I stopped going on family holidays when I was 18 and started paying for my own. If they have a problem with a free holiday then they should book and pay for their own holiday that suits them!

They are ungrateful brats.

A few years ago my SKs did something similar. We cancelled. Rude and entitled.

Brats. I would cancel their spots and just take your son!

Thank you!

Not strictly true is it? In return you expect them to be grateful and appreciative even though it's a holiday destination they don't want to go to and wouldn't have chosen themselves.
That's what's controlling.

You may have put thought into it, but you didn't put enough thought in to choose something that everyone would like.

But we thought they would have chosen it from prev discussions, we really did take what they had said into consideration..

We just didn't realise the location would be such an issue.

But going forward we're going to try to find somewhere everyone's happy with

Getting a free holiday. Not a rave away with their mates, a family holiday.

OP go, take your some and tell your DH that when the "it's not fair" shit starts he has only one response "you said you didn't want to come".

Enjoy your break.

The adult children’s way of expressing their disappointment was poor, but would people really be delighted about going somewhere they didn’t want to go for a week? I don’t think they are unreasonable to not want to go somewhere they weren’t consulted on in the name of being grateful.

Has anything like this happened before? I have a relative that likes to be generous but it’s always on their terms. I.e I have seen this specific expensive item I want to buy you. Us: oh thank you but we don’t really need that/it’s not really to our taste. Them: it’s this or nothing. Us: ok well thanks for the offer but we are ok. They then go and sulk and complain about how ungrateful we are.

Agree. We did soft play vouchers for Christmas when we were asked about our sons because telling family no gifts because ours were happy with what they had would mean them saying “but it’s Christmas” and giving them things they wouldn’t want or need (more toys).

And on the holiday front, my parents always asked us where we wanted to go and suggested places. It was a family discussion before anything was booked and paid for.

people Saying they’ve not been on holiday for years but still wouldn’t go to Marbella for a week even if it’s paid for 🤣🤣🤣 come off it if I’ve been once it was ok not life changing but you’re full of it to say you’d turn down a free holiday

OP please do tell us the location these erudite intellectual stepchildren of yours choose for the cultural and enriching week away 🤣🤣

Call me a liar all you like, but I’ve turned down free holidays with one of my parents. There are always strings attached with them.

I definitely would turn down a free holiday to Marbella.