AWBU blended family drama

[Shawaddywaddeee]

So myself and my partner thought it would be nice to take our older kids away (without the younger ones)
On an all expenses paid holiday.
So we can go out have a laugh etc without having to be in early for the lil ones.

They agreed they'd love to go so we did our research and booked Marbella .

To our shock we've been told the location is chavvy and we're shit parents because we didn't ask where they wanted to go.

But we genuinely thought we'd taken all their own personal needs into consideration and got a great deal!

It's cost us £4000 (all inclusive) and they are saying they're not coming!

My partner is so upset because we were so excited and looking forward to having some quality time with the older kids but have been met with utter discontent :(

They are 20, 20, 18

Have we fucked up here or are they acting like spoilt brats?

What's not to like is that it's chavvy ...

I can see how this is a useful way for you to feel you offered them an all expenses holiday and they are in the wrong, but who knows your dynamic.

Do they think you chose something on purpose that they wouldn't like?

It's seriously weird to choose a location and book it without discussing it with them. And then to choose Marbella. Sorry, I wouldn't waste a week's leave / week of my life voluntarily on that either, even if it was free. Why didn't their dad have a better idea of what they would like ... or even better ... ask them?

We usually do a group chat where everyone expresses ideas. You say you met their preferences, so did this at least happen in some way? Or was it a guess at preferences?

Anyway, happy days, you can now plan holidays without them on the grounds that they are spoiled. Was that the real plan?

Marbella?? Chavy??!!

LOL.

Take them to Puerto Banus and they can goggle at the millionaires' yachts laid side by side.... or the sports cars parked all around.

Or go Saudi Royal family spotting who spend 3 months in the summer there every year. They have even built a mosque there. Beautiful white building on private land surrounded by trees.

There's a highway going through it known as millionaire's row.

Your kids sound really snooty.

At that age you should have consulted them re location. They're adults.

So even though they’ve said they’re not going, if you still go with your son, they’ll have another tantrum about him being favoured?! Yep, I’ll say it again, entitled spoilt brats.

But they were all up for going to bars etc

BUT their mum said it's full of Essex chavs with turkey teeth 🙈

The fact they said they want culture is laughable considering they wouldn't even leave the last complex (or room) to even go to the beach!

And spend every weekend at raves or out drinking

I do feel this might be being driven by the mum who is full of Hippocracy

My partner is now a shit dad for only taking the older ones even though he's taking the younger ones away the following month for a child friendly holiday

But then he gets told he doesn't spend enough time with the older ones 🙈

Even though the mum goes away with the younger ones separately to the older ones too!

That's kind of the point.
It's full of drug dealers from council estates made good, hard core criminals, criminals on the run, Russian mafua.
There's fuck all culture, just loads of rich people with no class
Grim

Hippocracy?

Surely you should be taking them to Kos then?

Seriously ... why didn't you just ask them before booking it?

So weird that their dad continues to book holiday destinations they hate.

Wow

"Was that the real plan"

Think that says a lot about how you work...

I would be staggeringly unimpressed if my adult dc used the word chavvy. It would feel like a parenting failure to me.

It is okay for them not to like your idea op, but to describe it in their terms says a lot about who they are.

They do sound rude and ungrateful but if they've been on one holiday with their Dad and not left the complex or stopped gazing at their phones I am not sure why you would consider booking another holiday for them ....

Erm ... anyone else would ask grown adults about their opinion on a holiday destination ... what other motive could there possibly be for not asking for an opinion?

Is it your way or the highway?

They will have heard of it from the TOWIE crowd and “no carbs before Marbs” idea. The reality is that like anywhere there will be nicer areas than others. Maybe they were thinking that instead of ‘bars’ they wanted to go clubbing in Ibiza or something, so it may have got lots in translation. I’d sit down with them and do some research about the area together to show them that there’s plenty to enjoy there for everyone.

if anyone should be pissed off it should be your younger kids who aren’t going at all 😂

@Iflyaway yes Marbella is chavvy. Full of wannabe towie types. Money doesn't buy class.

They were rude describing it as they did, but it does seem odd to book a holiday for people without consulting them on location at all and then expecting them to be 100% happy with it because it's free.

Is there any option to change or cancel without losing loads ?

Hippocracy

I haven't been on holiday since forever, but still wouldn't want to go to Marbella if I were offered it. So you should have consulted the adult children re location, though they could and should have been more polite in their response to a location about which they weren't consulted.

To judge by your later posts, I suspect the problem is, yet again, that blended families are a bloody nightmare, not that these two individuals are "brats".

I think it is odd not to consult adults before booking a holiday.

What are turkey teeth????

I think they are being rude - but when I book holidays that include my older teens I do consult them with links to places etc etc.

£4K for 5 adults all inclusive for a I presume 7 nights in high season Spain (even if it’s Marbella not Magaluf) would concern me that it would be full of Brits Abroad getting hammered from 9am. What are the reviews like?

There is all inclusive and 5 star inclusive and the latter would be minimum double what you paid I’d say. I do see the appeal of all inclusive though with teens / young adults. But I’d be v careful about where I went.

Yes, at 20 I wouldn't expectvyo be a passive participant to someone elses plan

Because my partner still wants to spend time with them and be nice 🙈

I Googled this recently as I read something about it and thought it must be teeth that made you look like a turkey. It's apparently something to do with them being all the same size (?) though I might not have understood it properly. It sounds completely ridiculous, whatever it is.

No it was meant to be a nice surprise 🙈

*Plus when my partner took them away last year they didn't even leave the complex or room just sat on their phones the whole time
*

Knowing this, what were you expecting this time?

I'd cancel the holiday, let the dust settle and then re plan another one, for everyone that actively wants to come and can use their manners.

This might not be the older kids.

Can you change the location? If you went through travel agent they should be able to tweak your booking.

They do sound rude though. Where would they prefer to go? It sounds like you can't win.