AIBU to think my DD's teacher was inappropriate?

[picklesandicecream]

Idk what exactly to think of this... my 14 year old DD came home from school the other day absolutely fuming. When questioned on what happened, she told me that her (male) teacher had been really sexist and unfair. She said that when she offered to help carry something to another classroom, she was told to sit down and let one of the boys do it. She then told the teacher that she was perfectly capable and happy to help, but he stuck to his guns and asked one of the boys to carry the box to the other classroom. DD and her friends were outraged and spent the rest of the lesson talking loudly about modern day misogyny and the influence Andrew Tate has on vulnerable men and teenage boys.

Sexist? Men in general are stronger! Your daughter made an idiot of herself. Let me guess you believe TWAW and think they should be in women's sports?

Teachers have a tough enough job as it is. I expect there was more to it than we know about it and I'd give the poor sod a break.

I know what i think-kids these days should learn some respect and stop talking crap

Often students chosen for tasks are ones with ADHD or ones needing movement breaks. Things are not always as they seem, when we listen to our children’s point of view they are often not what actually happened.

mid saidbstudent then makes comments all lesson they can end up with sanctions as they can be disruptive.

The student most suited to the task would be chosen and as previously stated, sometimes those pupils chosen may be those who would benefit from a movement break.

Your DD and her friends were ignorant and disrupted their learning and the learning of others.

^^This.

Tell her to concentrate on her studies and it'll come good in the end. She sounds disruptive over a small incident tbh.

@picklesandicecream could it simply be that the boys in your DD’s class are very passive and don’t put themselves forward to help with anything? Perhaps the teacher wanted to give the boy some time out of the lesson? There are so many scenarios here and your DD’s reaction, and that of her friends, to talk loudly about AT/misogyny is just pathetic. Your DD would do well to be told that it’s not all about her and she should accept the differing decision of an adult in charge.

I am a teacher and in my experience sometimes (usually but not always) the kids who offer to bring something to another classroom are the students who are looking to get out of class for a few minutes. I will always always select the students, and not necessarily take up the offer of the first students to offer. I have never had a student get so offended by my choice and be disruptive for the rest of the class about it. At most I might get a sarcastic comment that we all laugh off and move on. Sorry but I think your DD is in the wrong here.

Look up the definition of misogyny, this isn’t it. Honestly I despair!
Our poor young men don’t stand a chance these days, the teacher asked the boy to carry a box, it’s not a crime!
If your daughter had been asked instead do you think it would have been acceptable for the boys to talk in loud voices about feminists?
Total lack of respect for the teacher if you ask me, your daughter

was rude

Your daughter is a bit of a gobshite isn’t she.

This is a ridiculous post. He's a male teacher. We do not know what he needed help carrying, how far or where to. Could be into an office or a storage cupboard or an unoccupied classroom. OF COURSE HE'S NOT GOING TO DO THAT WITH ONE HORMONAL GOBBY TEENAGE GIRL. Get a grip. He's being sensible. We have to be soooo careful and beyond reproach. Can u imagine the whoops of the rest of the class as the two of them went off together to take the stuff. Some of the utter tripe being spouted on here, it's a wonder there's anyone left in the profession at all! It seems that everyone's an expert about a job they are not qualified to do, and everyone is always said to be "fuming" over some trifling matter or another. Honestly we can't do right for doing wrong these days, if you don't trust their professional judgement find a different school.

Tell it like it is

This all the way.

We also know that the teacher is correct is not allowing the OP's DD to do the job as she then went on to disrupt the class.

I, like others, am surprised that she was allowed to stay in the class.

Ah, those 14YO girls and their loud discussions on modern day misogyny, with particular reference to Andrew Tate and his influence on vulnerable men and boys. Happens every day, in classrooms up and down the country 🙄

Have to say when I re read the initial post again I did also think nah this is another spoofer

I hope you spoke to your daughter about her terrible behaviour in class. I am quite shocked you are seemingly proud of this behaviour all because she spun you some yarn and it was believed without question.

🙄🙄 absolute BS that is all

Right I think this is a bit of a stretch. This isn’t really Tate’s line of thinking.

tbh I used to work in an after school program and I’d ask one particular teen boy to help me carry the heavy drinks which were light to him. It didn’t cross my mind make to ask a teen girl, who I doubted would be stronger than me, when I struggled with it as a then 23 year old woman. I also knew this boy was responsible and very capable of carrying the drinks so there was no or little risk of injury.

My 6 year old Gds told me the other day that when going for the snacks at after-school club, he and the other boys say ‘Ladies first,’ to the girls.

I’m only telling you in case you are short of something else to get your knickers in a twist about.

is it possible that he wasn’t been sexist but didn’t actually want to be on his own with your daughter? If they were going to an empty classroom or to a remote area maybe he was covering himself.

As a woman who lifts weights, and lifts heavy, I still have men that are concerned about me lifting certain heavy items. Do I take this as misogyny? No. I take this, personally, as men being gentlemen who don’t really know my full capabilities…. And, even with my capabilities, it doesn’t stop them wanting to be gentlemen! Men being raised to respect women and act like gentlemen for it is not a bad thing and is something to be celebrated.

Equally, even with my training, it doesn’t stop me accepting that men are naturally stronger than women.

I say this as a very independent woman living with one of life’s true gentlemen who celebrates everything about me being independent, whilst disputing at me for over pushing myself sometimes to prove a point 🙂 and not accepting help….

In an age of feminism we have to be really careful not the swing the pendulum so far with perceived misogyny that we just automatically assume everything is a slight against us as women…. That way leads to the path of toxic feminism that results in people switching off from considering the real issues that should be an integral part of feminism (such as equality in the fact that women should earn the same as men in the same job and that women can be plumbers, bricklayers and mechanicals as much as the next person, etc.)

But, quite simply, it has to be accepted as a universals truth that there are unchangeable differences between men and women. I mean, no man is getting pregnant any time soon…

In conclusion I think we need to call out genuine misogyny, but be very careful not to label something as such out of hand.

despairing at me for over pushing myself sometimes to prove a point 🙂 and not accepting help….

although it sounds sexist, It may have been because the girls always offer so maybe he wanted the boys to do something as most of the time (from experience) the boys never offer...?
but I’ve known 14 year old girls to twist stories to make it sound like they are the victims....