AIBU to think my DD's teacher was inappropriate?

[picklesandicecream]

Idk what exactly to think of this... my 14 year old DD came home from school the other day absolutely fuming. When questioned on what happened, she told me that her (male) teacher had been really sexist and unfair. She said that when she offered to help carry something to another classroom, she was told to sit down and let one of the boys do it. She then told the teacher that she was perfectly capable and happy to help, but he stuck to his guns and asked one of the boys to carry the box to the other classroom. DD and her friends were outraged and spent the rest of the lesson talking loudly about modern day misogyny and the influence Andrew Tate has on vulnerable men and teenage boys.

Disrupting the rest of the lesson is NOTHING to be proud of either

Hope you had words with her over that op?

I have assumed, given OP’s wording that the issue isn’t that another student, who happened to be a boy, was given the task it was that the teacher made their sex an issue, implying that the DD wasn’t good enough for the task because of her sex.

Regardless of whether the DD is a drama lama, or there was a particular boy who the teacher wanted to do the task for whatever reasoning, using a student’s sex as a reason why someone shouldn’t do something when their sex does not make it inappropriate for them is not something students in school should be hearing.

If the teacher told DD to sit down and said let X do it and X happened to be a boy I think that would be very different unless he only ever chose boys to help with this sort of task.

@picklesandicecream

"DD and her friends were outraged and spent the rest of the lesson talking loudly about modern day misogyny and the influence Andrew Tate has on vulnerable men and teenage boys.

DD and her friends need to get a grip and realise that this is nothing even remotely to get het up about. The teacher didn't say "boys are more able" or anything like that, it is all their interpretation of the situation projected onto the teacher.

They need to learn that life isn't very pleasant and people will say, do and think things that aren't all that nice. Getting "outraged" isn't productive and just makes them miserable.

'If' being the word here

Love to hear how it really happened

@NumberTheory that's not what happened though 😂

ahhh the absolute drama of being 14. Such a non issue.

spent the rest of the lesson talking loudly about modern day misogyny and the influence Andrew Tate has on vulnerable men and teenage boys

They sound insufferable. And if I'd been in that lesson I wouldn't have been too pleased to have it disrupted like that. Let alone implying the teacher is vulnerable to AT's influence.

It is your daughter's assessment.

The teacher's account might be a little different. Your daughter's reaction (apart from saying she was capable) seems very disruptive.
Perhaps the box was extra heavy or he thought, for a reason unknown to your daughter, it best for the boy to assist. ie the boy lacked confidence and would benefit more that day from helping.

Your daughter should not be rude even if she thinks the decision was not correct.

As a teacher of 40 years we did exercises in training college to make sure we were never sexist in a situation like that. And this was in the 70's. I have never forgotten. Either that teacher ignored all that or had a reason to get a boy involved. Whatever the reason l think your dd was very disruptive and l would hate to be her teacher. Sexism is not the only sin. Being rude is also not acceptable as l am sure you have taught her.

DD and her friends were outraged and spent the rest of the lesson talking loudly about modern day misogyny and the influence Andrew Tate has on vulnerable men and teenage boys.

What's Andrew Tate got to do with a teacher asking a boy rather than a girl to carry something? And of course there could be a multitude of other reasons why he didn't want OP's DD to do the job. Especially since it turns out that she's the sort of teenager who will disrupt the rest of the lesson.

I agree, can't believe this

Your DD sounds like one of the irritating teenage pricks who like to pick a fight and disrupt lessons for everyone else by making it all about them. If she's got an issue then teach her how to officially complain instead of ruining teaching for everyone else in the class

yabu

What's the Andrew Tate connection about??

Op?

It's nothing like Andrew Tate ?

But the OP suggests that version of events.

It literally suggests that a boy had been chosen , dd stood up to explain how capable she is and the teacher sit down z is doing it.

Where in tbe wording does it suggest the teacher even mentioned his sex?

It’s not sexist to acknowledge that teenage boys, post puberty, are physically stronger than teenage girls.

I was about to say this.

Being a teacher sounds like really hard work. Your daughter spent a class loudly disrupting the class and you think the teacher is the one at fault here.

Could also easily have been your DD pissed off that she tried to get out of a lesson by running an errand and was told no.

Then the 'it's unfair, he asked a boy to do it instead' stuff kicked off.

If she spent the rest of the lesson being rude and disruptive, she should have been sent out.

Don't go in fumming as you might look a prat if it didn't play out exactly as your DD reported.

If he said "no girls can't carry heavy things" that would be sexist and should be reported

If he said "Bob take this to office" and your DD piped up and offered but was told to sit down that isn't sexist.

My sons told me about the same kind of thing and said they told the teacher it was sexist and were told to be quiet.

Out of interest OP what would have been your take if DD had already been chosen and the boys proclaimed how capable they were and spent the rest of the lesson shouting about sexism...?

Being physically stronger doesn’t make girls incapable of lifting, though. And a pervasive attitude that it does makes it harder for women to get on in jobs that require lifting that is well within their capabilities.

Maybe he was being sexist but I'm secretly pleased if my boss asks a guy over me to do any heavy lifting at work.