AIBU to think my DD's teacher was inappropriate?

[picklesandicecream]

Idk what exactly to think of this... my 14 year old DD came home from school the other day absolutely fuming. When questioned on what happened, she told me that her (male) teacher had been really sexist and unfair. She said that when she offered to help carry something to another classroom, she was told to sit down and let one of the boys do it. She then told the teacher that she was perfectly capable and happy to help, but he stuck to his guns and asked one of the boys to carry the box to the other classroom. DD and her friends were outraged and spent the rest of the lesson talking loudly about modern day misogyny and the influence Andrew Tate has on vulnerable men and teenage boys.

But what is your opinion formed out of given that you dont know why the boy was asked?

It’s based on the information the OP gave, which is that her DD was basically shut down and told it was a job for a boy…

Yes...

So why was the teacher saying this in the OP then, you seem to know the reason. Do tell...

@WeeWillyWinkie9

So why was the teacher saying this in the OP then, you seem to know the reason. Do tell...

My whole point is that the reason wasnt given, so no, I can't tell. I'm not the one saying it's sexist without context though.

Thats not in the OP. Where are you reading this from?

She was told to 'sit down and let one of the boys do it'?

But you don't really know why he wanted 'one of the boys to do it.'

Many, many reasons why you think of an excuse to get a pupil out of the classroom for a minute, which don't involve thinking boys are inherently stronger than girls.

Although, if he did think that, he would be right (after puberty).

To be a pita for the rest of the lesson proves that she is not someone you can trust to leave the classroom to run any sort of errand.

The OP said she was told to sit down and let a boy do it. (Which is pretty much exactly what I said: she was shut down and told it was a job for a boy…)
Also, you do know this is mumsnet, right, and not a court of law? Just because I think differently from you, I don’t have to justify my opinion!

I didn't say you were but you are directing a comment at me saying there is no proof it was sexist. So I asked what proof is there that it wasn't and admit there isn't any.

And that’s absolutely fine. You do you and I’ll do me…

Yeah before I hang the teacher out to dry I would hear both sides

I didn't say you were but you are directing a comment at me saying there is no proof it was sexist. So I asked what proof is there that it wasn't and admit there isn't any.

I think you have misunderstood me.

I have certainly misunderstood you.

No, she was told to sit down and one of the boys to do it. He may well have been identified to do the task already.

Theres no evidence (apart from you making it up) that she was told to shut up and its a job for a boy

DD and her friends were outraged and spent the rest of the lesson talking loudly about modern day misogyny and the influence Andrew Tate has on vulnerable men and teenage boys.

I'd be pulling my DD up for disrupting the rest of the lesson. I would think there is as much chance of the teacher asking one of the boys to do it because he'd noticed certain pupils becoming particularly restless, as much as they were just being sexiest. I think he was right not to back down when challenged, he's the adult in charge - what if another pupil then decided they hadn't been asked for another reason, so the teacher then changed their mind and agreed they should do the errand? There would be chaos (although it sounds like it already was).

Sometimes the same people try to jobs- lots of times girls, trying to be helpful and so offer a lot and others don’t get a turn. And girls always offer, I usually have to tell a boy.

so it could be that he wanted the boys to have a turn.

You all sound overly precious! I love it when a stronger man carries something for me or opens a door. It’ll be sad when we get to the point men are too scared to do anything nice for women.

Er, OP specifically says, ‘she was told to sit down and let one of the boys do it.’ Why are you struggling so much with me having a different opinion to you? I know this is mumsnet but Jesus… I’m allowed to think differently from you without being accused of making things up! I couldn’t care less what you’d opinion is so why are you so bothered about mine?

You can have a different opinion all you like but if you make things up that the OP didnt say and then base your opinion on no evidence you're going to get pulled up about it

Thats what happened here.

You made things up. Dont make things up.

Except I haven’t made anything up! Anyway, you’re clearly FAR more invested in this than I am, so enjoy!

So your daughter was rude and disrupted a lesson rather than using a constructive way to make her point. I think you need to teach her better ways to make a stand or make her point.

You said that the daughter was 'shut up and told it was a job for a boy'

That isnt documented anywhere. You made it up

Your daughter and her friends need to get over themselves. Tell them the teacher has better things to do than listen to this nonsense. They haven’t been discriminated against and I sincerely doubt the teacher is a misogynist. You should be discussing with your daughter that whilst she is passionate about fairness and that is great, it’s very immature to ascribe every action she doesn’t like to misogyny, etc. Direct her in to ways that she can funnel that desire for fairness and encourage not to always assume the worst of people.

World gone crazy.

I am a feminist but I can appreciate chivalry.

I said, and I quote, she was BASICALLY [note that word basically?? It means I’m not quoting verbatim] told to shut up, it was a job for a boy. Which is how I read the OP — and still do: she was told to sit down and let a boy do it. I don’t see the difference.
You are very welcome to have your interpretation of the OP; so am it. It doesn’t mean I’m going to accept you accusing me of making things up!

I'm far from convinced that the OP's daughter is a reliable witness to EXACTLY what the teacher said, frankly.

Between the conversation and her arrival home, I imagine that some editing could have happened.