AIBU to think my DD's teacher was inappropriate?

[picklesandicecream]

Idk what exactly to think of this... my 14 year old DD came home from school the other day absolutely fuming. When questioned on what happened, she told me that her (male) teacher had been really sexist and unfair. She said that when she offered to help carry something to another classroom, she was told to sit down and let one of the boys do it. She then told the teacher that she was perfectly capable and happy to help, but he stuck to his guns and asked one of the boys to carry the box to the other classroom. DD and her friends were outraged and spent the rest of the lesson talking loudly about modern day misogyny and the influence Andrew Tate has on vulnerable men and teenage boys.

I think examples like this really undermine feminism.

Men and boys(after a certain age) are stronger than women are generally can carry heavier loads. There may be other reason why the teacher chose the boy.

I think you daughter behaviour is unacceptable and reasonable.

This tbh

This is sexist. Happened to me in one of my hospitality jobs as a student.

I was helping move tables and was told to go behind the bar and wash glasses instead with the girls and that the boys would move tables.

I was fuming, put my foot down and said “why because I’m a girl I can’t move tables?” The manager backed down after that and I continued moving tables.

The irony was there were 16 year old weedy boys about half my size doing the heavy lifting. I was a 21 year regular gym goer!

Lots of people, both male and female think they're capable of picking something up that's too heavy for them. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't...but considering that you can injure yourself lifting things, the teacher made their right call choosing the child who was physically stronger

The situation you describe is really not a huge deal and your DD was rude and disruptive in class

Idk what exactly to think of this...

That's really worrying OP. Your DD behaved awfully, and you don't know what to think

You are taking a completely different scenario here. I mean, worlds apart.

The irony was there were 16 year old weedy boys about half my size doing the heavy lifting. I was a 21 year regular gym goer!

So nothing like the story in the OP then.

Unless they've been given training in safe lifting (standard in the workplace even for office jobs in my experience) they are leaving themselves open to be sued if someone does their back in

It could be a big box of pens for all anyone knows , or holding the doors open.

It's nothingto do with strength.

It's to do with spoilt DD not getting her own way so proceeding to talk a load of nonsense. Much like some of the PPs above.

If the OP’s daughter had behaved like that in my lesson she would know the consequences of disturbing lessons and the OP would have received a phone call from me about it.

I know. Some people just have zero idea about schools nowadays.

Which is exactly why we teachers are not allowed to lift anything heavy.
Never mind students.

I just couldn’t get worked up about this.

Cool story.

14 seems a bit old to be competing to do jobs for the teacher - that's more what you'd expect of young children, who'd feel important to be chosen. By 14 you'd think the task would be seen as mildly onerous rather than a privilege.

The kid who offers to do a job that takes them out of the classroom for a while, is the one you don't choose to do it. It's basic teachering!

The teacher has said nothing about boys being stronger than girls. My immediate thought was if the heavy items were being moved to an empty classroom, the male teacher would not be allowed to be alone in the classroom with the female pupil, so he thought it would be more straight forward to ask a boy.

This

In what way? I’m assuming, since it’s on this thread, that ComedyCook intends her story to indicate it’s okay for the teacher to pick a boy because, biologically, 14 year old boys in general are stronger than 14 year old girls so it’s not sexist for him to do so and to tell girls. I pointed out that we weren’t talking about something the Dd was incapable of carrying. So it didn’t apply.

I went on to point out that even where a task would test the difference between the sexes there’s a strong argument, in a school, for teachers not to let that dictate which sex gets asked to complete the task - because of the implications for working life.

My daughter was in therapy for severe anxiety and OCD when she was in Year 10/11. She was embarrassed about having to leave class due to panic attacks, so she and her teachers agreed a system where she’d give a signal and they’d ask her to take a message to another teacher/go and get the textbooks etc., so that she could leave for a while without any drama.

this

This.

If it’s something where there is a question about physical capability and the need for good form, the teacher shouldn’t be asking a student to lift it at all.

Maybe the teacher knew the box would be too heavy for your DD or maybe the teacher’s old school. So what? Your daughter sounds like a right PITA and should have got a detention for disrupting the whole lesson!