To despair at the NHS re hospital scan

[Jessandtess]

This is part AIBU part desperate plea for advice.

i am currently 37 weeks pregnant and having a c-section in 13 days time. Im having regular growth scans and need one before the section goes ahead, which my consultant has insisted on. And he needs it done before our pre op appt late next week.

I’ve had childcare fall through for DD18 months so can no longer make my planned 38 week scan date, I’ve called to rearrange and been told scans are like gold dust and they can’t offer me a different date until the 2nd of March! Which is a teeny bit late.

I’ve asked if they can wave the no children coming with you rule since I need the scan, it’s not really a case of being able to just cancel and leave it. But alas the reply I got from the lady at the hospital was ‘well you’re just going to have to figure something out, you can’t not have the scan and we can’t get a different date’

DH is currently in hospital and will be for the next week at least (had a mini stroke) my mum was due to have DD but has had to cancel, I have no one else to take her and local childcare options are slim to none (and need more notice than I can give)

AIBU to wonder how on earth there is no wiggle room for such situations re taking a child into a scan, or to not quite believe there aren’t appts held back for emergencies, I had to go to maternity triage a couple of months ago and had a scan performed within 20 mins, not in the formal scan rooms but an ultrasound was conducted and they could see and measure all the same shit. I’m just a bit confused at the response being ‘well you have to come for the scan so figure something out’ response, and it was said like that (the lady was quite curt)

Onto the advice, what would you do in this situation? I’m genuinely flummoxed.

Is your husband likely to be up to coming down from his ward briefly or is it a different hospital?

Sorry if you’ve already answered.

For Pete’s sake it is not “entitled” to ask to be provided with essential healthcare. Healthcare , including maternity care, is a public service and a human right, not a luxury . People who work for the NHS are paid employees of a public service . They are accountable to service users and the broader public.
Attitudes like yours are dangerous.

You can be assured that my trolleys are returned to their rightful place and my “pleases” and “thank you’s” are abundant. I do tend to go out of my way for people and perhaps my expectations of others are a bit higher than yours as a result. You clearly have a wild imagination to take what you did from me supporting OP who has found herself in difficult circumstances with very little support from someone, who, without a doubt, could have helped, even just by being a bit less “curt”. It might be worth you looking up the meaning of the word entitled.

I'd just turn up for the scan with DD. Then if they ask you to leave without the scan tell them they are putting yours and your unborn child's health at risk as there was no alternative but to bring DD with you. They could get someone to watch DD for a bit or you could take her in for the scan with you. If they can't safely do the birth without the scan then there's no alternative, they are going to have to make allowances.

Is the misogynistic slur also a comedy attempt?

A human right that we have been blessed with here in the UK.
we are so lucky.

Admin staff are unable to be flexible with the rules, as they are admin staff.
A little less… “bring me the manager” would go a long way.

Lmao “slur” Ok Hadley Freeman.
It’s a meme.

The OP's baby will be 6 months old and this completely bonkers thread will still be going 😅

hope all is going well with your DH and you get sorted.

Just turn up with DD, tell them childcare has fallen through. They might be more reasonable face to face.

Yes some people are so invested 😂 The OP has had some good suggestions amongst the batshittery and it’s now up to her to decide what to do.

Umm, if admin staff are unable to deal with the problem then surely that’s exactly why you need to speak with a manager.

OP is about to give birth, she has a high risk pregnancy, an 18 month old baby and a DP in hospital, it’s not really her job to take care of the feelings of the admin staff, she needs her appointment sorted.

I’m beginning to feel sorry for Jen.

or was it for Katy?

@Jessandtess Hope you got sorted

No....not beyond rude. If you have no options, and I think we have discussed all the possibilities, some times there are no solutions. Im a nurse and would understand if this happened, in fact it has, and far more difficult things like a mum arriving for an examination under anaesthetic with five kids!!! its not entitled, its not bulldozing, its doing the only thing you can do. The NHS wont thank you for not coming.

This is unreasonable and irresponsible iit would put pressure on the already put upon NHS staff involved. It’s obvious to me that a small child can’t come into a procedure which requires careful concentration on the part of the doctor doing the scan. OP needs to sort this out. Have they really got no one? No friends? If not I can understand it’s difficult but there are childcare options which cost. It’s just a scan not a week in hospital.

There's times when friends are really going to struggle with an extra kid, and school run time is very much one of them. Realistically not many people can get an extra car seat in the car if they need one for the school run (which is one of the biggest limits in most pick up services). That a large number of parents are forced to drive school runs because they can't get places at the local school is another issue.

I lost a lot of sympathy for the NHS system when the scan they had arranged and sent me with no regard to my availability was rearranged at minimal notice... If they want a parent (working or otherwise) to attend without a child in tow, the some co-operation on timing is essential. I had to pay for the extra childcare I had arranged for the subsequently postponed scans but couldn't get any for school run time (because ratios).

In this case the day before or after would be fine, so use a bit of sense given they should be aware of the circumstances (other parent in hospital on unplanned admission will generally kybosh existing plans involving them...)

When I went in for my induction, plus for a couple of monitoring sessions, multiple people were accompanied by their other children until someone could get there to help - which could easily be several hours.

I'd also say that flexible paid childcare is very limited in some (not commuter belt) locations. Small market towns have limited childcare full stop (put name down after 12 week scan if you want a place from age 1) and there was zero emergency/flexible childcare on any of the sitters/childcare.co.uk type sites. You could occasionally pick up some school hours childcare on a shorter waiting list where childminders had space in their ratios because they had families using them for wrap around, but paid emergency childcare just was not a thing in 2 of the places I've lived (both market towns just outside commuter range from big cities).

There are more options where I live now (is commuter belt) but pick up and wrap around are tough to get at the best of times!

Can memes not be misogynistic?