To despair at the NHS re hospital scan

[Jessandtess]

This is part AIBU part desperate plea for advice.

i am currently 37 weeks pregnant and having a c-section in 13 days time. Im having regular growth scans and need one before the section goes ahead, which my consultant has insisted on. And he needs it done before our pre op appt late next week.

I’ve had childcare fall through for DD18 months so can no longer make my planned 38 week scan date, I’ve called to rearrange and been told scans are like gold dust and they can’t offer me a different date until the 2nd of March! Which is a teeny bit late.

I’ve asked if they can wave the no children coming with you rule since I need the scan, it’s not really a case of being able to just cancel and leave it. But alas the reply I got from the lady at the hospital was ‘well you’re just going to have to figure something out, you can’t not have the scan and we can’t get a different date’

DH is currently in hospital and will be for the next week at least (had a mini stroke) my mum was due to have DD but has had to cancel, I have no one else to take her and local childcare options are slim to none (and need more notice than I can give)

AIBU to wonder how on earth there is no wiggle room for such situations re taking a child into a scan, or to not quite believe there aren’t appts held back for emergencies, I had to go to maternity triage a couple of months ago and had a scan performed within 20 mins, not in the formal scan rooms but an ultrasound was conducted and they could see and measure all the same shit. I’m just a bit confused at the response being ‘well you have to come for the scan so figure something out’ response, and it was said like that (the lady was quite curt)

Onto the advice, what would you do in this situation? I’m genuinely flummoxed.

But how would this work ? The scan is in the middle of the afternoon. Why would the OP leave her child with a stranger for a few hours? In my area there are long lists for regular childcare/nurseries ..there is no way they would take a child at short notice not on their lists....and there is no one who provides 'emergency childcare'. Maybe it's a thing in cities but definitely not here. Why can't people understand that OP doesn't have a back up particularly in the middle of a working day. The NHS should be able to accommodate her. It's not a lot to ask.

My husband is the only person I know within a 40 minute drive. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t work and would be able to have my children mid-week.

It’s not really the NHS responsibility to cater to your childcare difficulties, however annoying the situation is.

I work at a hospital and there is a nursery on grounds that a lot of staff use. and I think they take on emergency childcare for patients who need it. Does this hospital have anything like this?

Hope you get sorted.

If any NHS member of staff told me I couldn't be accompanied by my kid, I'd raise an eyebrow and say, I am not bringing in a kid, I am bringing in my child - look they only have two legs, and certainly no cloven hooves.

I do hate the race to the bottom.

It really is.

I cannot fathom how anyone can lay into someone who is clearly going through a difficult pregnancy (and is late into the pregnancy), has a sick husband who is currently hospitalised, and is likely stressing out and losing sleep over trying to get this sorted out with minimal support.

There’s so many utterly spiteful people on this thread who need to take a good hard look at themselves.

It’s easy to say all these nasty things online, though. None of them would have the balls to do this in real life. We all know the type. The ones who are two faced, constantly bitching about someone. Probably have less friends than you can count on one hand, too. For very obvious reasons. So they spend all their free time on Mumsnet as they have no social life and take great pleasure in shitting on someone who’s already down.

Miserable people spread misery.

If you ever needed a CT scan you’d definitely not be able to have your child in on the appointment with you.

regarding this situation, it’s not them being awkward, the sonographer can’t operate safely with a child in the room

@Loics

So does your DC go to nursery?

If so, you can ask a nursery worker to babysit. This is common practice in all the nurseries I have used

I know in real life I would give her a hug and offer to help if I could. It's sad today how people have no-one to call on for a favour in situations like this. When my kids were young there would have been any number of people I could ask, many parents worked part time and helped each other out. Nowadays everyone seems to have to work full time to get by.

Agreed. The lack of empathy on here is just awful. Again the scan is the middle of the afternoon... this is mainly the problem everyone else will at work! OP I hope your DH is OK.

What about contacting a local nursery???

This is very simple. You need to pay for childcare for a few hours.

Bollocks.

Mums used to be able to bring children to ultrasound scans all the time. My mum brought me when I was a toddler and she was pregnant.

They can absolutely operate “safely” if the child is in a pram, well out of reach of any medical equipment. They just don’t want to. There’s a hugely important difference.

I would have struggled in the OP's position too. The difference for me was that ds was in full time nursery. So during the week he would have been at nursery and at weekends I could have probably asked someone from the nursery to babysit (they occasionally did anyway).

But I didn't have a massive circle of mum friends to ask and I really don't think that's remotely odd.

The bigger problem is finding it.

@youshouldnthaveasked you really don't get irony do you .

@adomizo

I do agree that OP is having an awful time and she needs to call on and develop her network. These instances are exactly what friends are for.

Yes the appointment is in the afternoon, however, loads of people work from home now. If I got a bit advance notice I could manage my diary to look after a friend's little one for an hour - completely doable

Do you have experience working as a sonographer?

Do you?

its not necessary healthcare as it was your choice to get pregnant.

Empathy, compassion, pragmatism and practicality all spring to mind in relation to this thread and every single aspect of it.

Clearly jobsworths rule in the NHS.

Wise up. You could argue that point for nearly every single medical condition.

This is awful and not the stress you need. Sounds like you've exhausted most but can you put a post on Facebook to see if any friends will take or even door know (depending on how well you know your neighbours). Does the scan need to be NHS? Expensive, but could you book private scan and get them to send your notes- they don't mind cjildren coming

Get on that Google Birdy! Honestly you would learn a lot.

As a student I did a rotation through ultrasound yes.