Page 16 | To despair at the NHS re hospital scan

Jessandtess · 2023-01-14T12:41:20+00:00

This is part AIBU part desperate plea for advice. i am currently 37 weeks pregnant and having a c-section in 13 days time. Im having regular growth scans and need one before the section goes ahead, which my consultant has insisted on. And he needs it done before our pre op appt late next week. I’ve had childcare fall through for DD18 months so can no longer make my planned 38 week scan date, I’ve called to rearrange and been told scans are like gold dust and they can’t offer me a different date until the 2nd of March! Which is a teeny bit late. I’ve asked if they can wave the no children coming with you rule since I need the scan, it’s not really a case of being able to just cancel and leave it. But alas the reply I got from the lady at the hospital was ‘well you’re just going to have to figure something out, you can’t not have the scan and we can’t get a different date’ DH is currently in hospital and will be for the next week at least (had a mini stroke) my mum was due to have DD but has had to cancel, I have no one else to take her and local childcare options are slim to none (and need more notice than I can give) AIBU to wonder how on earth there is no wiggle room for such situations re taking a child into a scan, or to not quite believe there aren’t appts held back for emergencies, I had to go to maternity triage a couple of months ago and had a scan performed within 20 mins, not in the formal scan rooms but an ultrasound was conducted and they could see and measure all the same shit. I’m just a bit confused at the response being ‘well you have to come for the scan so figure something out’ response, and it was said like that (the lady was quite curt) Onto the advice, what would you do in this situation? I’m genuinely flummoxed.

PurBal · 15/01/2023 20:55

Honestly? I contacted my MP when this happened to me. I didn’t have childcare, end of. I was repeatedly (and aggressively) told I couldn’t take DS (not that I wanted to). Suddenly they have a convenient appointment…

KatysMumJen · 15/01/2023 21:11

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SoftSheen · 15/01/2023 21:27

I once took my then 3 year old into a scan because my husband (who should have been looking after her) was unavoidably held up at the last minute. Luckily, DD was very well behaved (some bribery involved) and also luckily, DH turned up about half way through, but the point is that they still agreed to do the scan. I would go with your toddler strapped into a buggy and with whatever it takes to entertain them. Explain the situation to the staff (especially with regards to your husband being in hospital) and hopefully they will respond with some compassion and common sense.

Makeyourownstory · 15/01/2023 22:33

What area are you in? I an happy yo sit in the waiting room with your daughter whilst you have your scan. I am a charge nurse and work for the NHS. PVG checked. If local I can help.

Clarabell77 · 15/01/2023 22:37

Makeyourownstory · 15/01/2023 22:33

What area are you in? I an happy yo sit in the waiting room with your daughter whilst you have your scan. I am a charge nurse and work for the NHS. PVG checked. If local I can help.

I would also be happy to do that if necessary if you were in my area.

Makeyourownstory · 15/01/2023 22:39

just had another thought, could you contact your health visitor to see if they have a nursery nurse or nursing assistant that could help in this situation x

Punkyinpink · 15/01/2023 22:42

Call back and ask to speak to either the senior clerk scan manager or the antenatal matron. Explain what you have explained and dont take no for an answer but in a polite way. (I previously worked in antenatal and we had special accommodations in place for some ladies during covid it just takes getting to the right person. Hopefully they might be able to jiggy things about and squeeze you in around that date but that may be more last minute than you are wanting or they could help provide support in a very difficult situation.)

i hope that everything goes well and good luck with the appointment/pre op/c section i hope that everything goes smoothly.

Valleymum2 · 15/01/2023 22:50

There will be more situations ahead where you need childcare and it’s very hard if you are not prepared. The best way is to build up your local networks eg a mum and toddler group where you will meet others who can help you out (and vice Versa). Alternatively you could check with something like a local guide unit or neighbours if they have any teenagers looking for babysitting. You may have to find sometime you can pay for a couple of hours regularly to give you a break so you get to know them and then you have them as emergency back up. I didn’t have much family support so I totally understand how hard it is but now is a good time to start planning so you have other options, good luck!

elfd · 15/01/2023 22:58

Does the hospital have something called PALS ? I think they can help in different situations.

Which hospital/area are you in?

babsanderson · 15/01/2023 23:03

PurBal · 15/01/2023 20:55

Honestly? I contacted my MP when this happened to me. I didn’t have childcare, end of. I was repeatedly (and aggressively) told I couldn’t take DS (not that I wanted to). Suddenly they have a convenient appointment…

They won't have had the appointment available. They will simply have cancelled someone else's appointment under pressure from the MP.

JenniferBooth · 15/01/2023 23:27

Only on MN are people horrified if you introduce your child to a partner you’ve only been dating a few months, but think it’s totally fine to ask a total stranger via an app or the internet to watch your child unsupervised

Yeah Funny that. And im saying this as someone who doesnt have children.

KatysMumJen · 15/01/2023 23:59

Clarabell77 · 15/01/2023 18:41

No you’re not being unreasonable and first hand experience of receptionist in NHS outpatients departments would prompt me to ask to speak to the curt ones manager - these are people who seem to forget that the public pay their wages. I don’t believe for a minute the couldn’t accommodate a change for you - even by calling another patient asking if they could swap the date. This would be a bit much like hard work right enough and from my first hand experience many of them are very shy of this.

I’d do that first, even just to complain about her attitude, and failing everything else I would do what someone else suggested, take your child, explain the very unfortunate situation that you’re in, and if they refuse to scan you get them to put it on your notes. I can’t imagine them refusing.

And good luck, sorry to hear about this stressful situation made a whole lot worse by the NHS admin.

Yeah, ask for the manager and get someone hauled over the coals for not bending the rules that the staff member had been expressly told not to bend.
This won’t help anyone and will only create more paperwork which will usually result in less work getting done.
These types of rules are put into place to ensure that everyone can do their job in a more efficient way.
no amount of “asking to speak to the manager” should change this.
The entitlement of this thread is crazy.
lots of women have childcare issues but don’t expect special treatment.
Do you even know the cost of giving birth and everything that comes with it are to the NHS?
Try having a baby in the US and see how much it costs you.

Ukrainebaby23 · 16/01/2023 02:47

Talk to your midwife and explain, ask if she can intervene. If u can, offer to have the scan much earlier or later in the day, or day before or after. It is very tricky with children and the sonographers and midwives need to concentrate for scanning.
If really stuck, ask a friendly neighbour to go with you, then when there ask if a staff member could possibly supervise help child and neighbour while u have scan.

Best of luck, sounds like an awful time right now.
I've registered with bubble. Co.uk and another care group in case I need a sitter as we have no family nearby and DH has ongoing medical issues.

Tandora · 16/01/2023 03:19

babsanderson · 15/01/2023 23:03

They won't have had the appointment available. They will simply have cancelled someone else's appointment under pressure from the MP.

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😂

Clarabell77 · 16/01/2023 06:59

KatysMumJen · 15/01/2023 23:59

Yeah, ask for the manager and get someone hauled over the coals for not bending the rules that the staff member had been expressly told not to bend.
This won’t help anyone and will only create more paperwork which will usually result in less work getting done.
These types of rules are put into place to ensure that everyone can do their job in a more efficient way.
no amount of “asking to speak to the manager” should change this.
The entitlement of this thread is crazy.
lots of women have childcare issues but don’t expect special treatment.
Do you even know the cost of giving birth and everything that comes with it are to the NHS?
Try having a baby in the US and see how much it costs you.

Show quote history

If they got hauled over the coals that’s what they need for behaving in that manner to what is effectively a customer, a 37 week pregnant customer with a husband in hospital who is going through a stressful time. However, from what I’ve seen on the admin side within these departments there is very little accountability which is why people end up behaving like this.

“paperwork” - this is an administrator who manages appointments - “paperwork” is her job.

“entitlement” - yes we are entitled to receive the healthcare that we’re paying for and in receiving it we are entitled to a bit of courtesy and respect. She’s asking to get an appointment changed ffs, hardly 5 star treatment…

I’ve no intention of going to the US, thanks, I’m quite happy paying for the service through my tax and National insurance.

randomsabreuse · 16/01/2023 07:31

I ended up taking my 3 year old to one of my growth scans. Got the letter after my 20 week scan, booked childcare (was SAHM but had 15 hours) then 2 days before they rearranged to a totally different time, couldn't locate more childcare with that little notice, which they accepted - and I still had to pay for the first lot. One of the scans was able to move again but the other one was scheduled for 3 pm but happened at 5...

KatysMumJen · 16/01/2023 07:38

Clarabell77 · 16/01/2023 06:59

If they got hauled over the coals that’s what they need for behaving in that manner to what is effectively a customer, a 37 week pregnant customer with a husband in hospital who is going through a stressful time. However, from what I’ve seen on the admin side within these departments there is very little accountability which is why people end up behaving like this.

“paperwork” - this is an administrator who manages appointments - “paperwork” is her job.

“entitlement” - yes we are entitled to receive the healthcare that we’re paying for and in receiving it we are entitled to a bit of courtesy and respect. She’s asking to get an appointment changed ffs, hardly 5 star treatment…

I’ve no intention of going to the US, thanks, I’m quite happy paying for the service through my tax and National insurance.

Show quote history

Very few people in the UK pay enough tax and NI to cover the cost of childbirth on the NHS.

The entitlement you’re exhibiting here is exactly what I was referring to.

Unfortunately there are times when appointments cannot be swapped around and rules disregarded to suit one individual’s requirements.

Staff members doing the job they’re paid to do and informing people as such shouldn’t carry consequences.

The world does not revolve around you and your needs. Keeping this in mind when having a conversation with an administrator may garner you a better response.

Perhaps it’s you and your entitled attitude that need hauling over the coals.

usernamealreadytaken · 16/01/2023 08:46

WhatLikeItsHard · 14/01/2023 13:08

I work in the NHS. This is a common problem.

The lady was probably curt because she hears this a lot, but people usually manage to organise childcare in the end.

In an ideal world, there would be a creche in the hospital which could be used by parents/caregivers who genuinely have no one that they can rely on for childcare. Or CRB checked babysitters who could wait in the hospital waiting room while you have your scan. I would actually love it if this was an option.

I'm sympathetic that it is shit and stressful if you have no one you can ask. But many departments have a strict no babies or children policy because of health and safety etc, so not sure what you can do. The staff will be twitchy about potentially being left to look after your child (happened to me a few times!).

Yes, it would absolutely make sense to pay babysitters to sit in reception all day just in case somebody turned up with a child to look after 🙄

usernamealreadytaken · 16/01/2023 08:49

Jessandtess · 14/01/2023 13:53

Considering they were able to perform an ultrasound with 20 mins notice just 6 weeks ago on me I’m not sure it’s unnecessary.

Its odd to think there is no planning in place for emergencies.

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There's probably planning in place for emergencies. There's probably not planning in place for someone who is not an emergency and can't find a babysitter.

Good luck finding a babysitter.

lauralou91 · 16/01/2023 08:59

Just take your daughter with you there was kids going in with there mums when I went for my scans doubt they will refuse you x

youshouldnthaveasked · 16/01/2023 09:13

KatysMumJen · 16/01/2023 07:38

Very few people in the UK pay enough tax and NI to cover the cost of childbirth on the NHS.

The entitlement you’re exhibiting here is exactly what I was referring to.

Unfortunately there are times when appointments cannot be swapped around and rules disregarded to suit one individual’s requirements.

Staff members doing the job they’re paid to do and informing people as such shouldn’t carry consequences.

The world does not revolve around you and your needs. Keeping this in mind when having a conversation with an administrator may garner you a better response.

Perhaps it’s you and your entitled attitude that need hauling over the coals.

Show quote history

👏🏼

Clarabell77 · 16/01/2023 10:07

KatysMumJen · 16/01/2023 07:38

Very few people in the UK pay enough tax and NI to cover the cost of childbirth on the NHS.

The entitlement you’re exhibiting here is exactly what I was referring to.

Unfortunately there are times when appointments cannot be swapped around and rules disregarded to suit one individual’s requirements.

Staff members doing the job they’re paid to do and informing people as such shouldn’t carry consequences.

The world does not revolve around you and your needs. Keeping this in mind when having a conversation with an administrator may garner you a better response.

Perhaps it’s you and your entitled attitude that need hauling over the coals.

Show quote history

Have you just discovered the word “entitled” and taken a liking to it?

Individual contributions vs treatment they receive don’t come into it, that’s one of the fundamentals of the NHS, so that everyone gets equal access from cradle to grave. It’s a public service and public funding pays the admins salary, she is not doing it for free.

So you think it’s “entitled” to expect to be able to change a very important medical appointment because of extremely stressful extenuating circumstances?

And it’s ”entitled” to expect someone who is paid to deal with people as a key part of their role to do that in a respectful and empathetic manner?

OP wasn’t demanding anything, she asked if there was a solution after explaining her very difficult circumstances. It really is the basics we’re talking about here.

ReginaPhalangeee · 16/01/2023 10:44

Clarabell77 · 16/01/2023 10:07

Have you just discovered the word “entitled” and taken a liking to it?

Individual contributions vs treatment they receive don’t come into it, that’s one of the fundamentals of the NHS, so that everyone gets equal access from cradle to grave. It’s a public service and public funding pays the admins salary, she is not doing it for free.

So you think it’s “entitled” to expect to be able to change a very important medical appointment because of extremely stressful extenuating circumstances?

And it’s ”entitled” to expect someone who is paid to deal with people as a key part of their role to do that in a respectful and empathetic manner?

OP wasn’t demanding anything, she asked if there was a solution after explaining her very difficult circumstances. It really is the basics we’re talking about here.

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Absolutely this! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

KatysMumJen · 16/01/2023 10:52

Clarabell77 · 16/01/2023 10:07

Have you just discovered the word “entitled” and taken a liking to it?

Individual contributions vs treatment they receive don’t come into it, that’s one of the fundamentals of the NHS, so that everyone gets equal access from cradle to grave. It’s a public service and public funding pays the admins salary, she is not doing it for free.

So you think it’s “entitled” to expect to be able to change a very important medical appointment because of extremely stressful extenuating circumstances?

And it’s ”entitled” to expect someone who is paid to deal with people as a key part of their role to do that in a respectful and empathetic manner?

OP wasn’t demanding anything, she asked if there was a solution after explaining her very difficult circumstances. It really is the basics we’re talking about here.

Show quote history

The subject I was giving an opinion on was entitlement.
Ergo, I used the word entitled more than once.

I’m absolutely aware of the principles of the NHS.
I’m also incredibly grateful to have been born in a country that provides us with such a comprehensive healthcare system at such small cost.

You brought up tax and NI and I simply replied that the majority of people in the UK do not pay enough tax and NI to cover the cost of childbirth and everything that goes along with it.

I can fully imagine your attitude towards NHS admin staff.
I can see how an attitude like yours would get short shrift.
Respect and empathy work both ways.

I also imagine you leaving your shopping trolly adrift in the supermarket car park; “there’s people who are paid to bring the trolly back”

Have a nice day!

oosha · 16/01/2023 11:06

KatysMumJen · 16/01/2023 07:38

Very few people in the UK pay enough tax and NI to cover the cost of childbirth on the NHS.

The entitlement you’re exhibiting here is exactly what I was referring to.

Unfortunately there are times when appointments cannot be swapped around and rules disregarded to suit one individual’s requirements.

Staff members doing the job they’re paid to do and informing people as such shouldn’t carry consequences.

The world does not revolve around you and your needs. Keeping this in mind when having a conversation with an administrator may garner you a better response.

Perhaps it’s you and your entitled attitude that need hauling over the coals.

Show quote history

@KatysMumJen couldn’t have said it better myself