To despair at the NHS re hospital scan

[Jessandtess]

This is part AIBU part desperate plea for advice.

i am currently 37 weeks pregnant and having a c-section in 13 days time. Im having regular growth scans and need one before the section goes ahead, which my consultant has insisted on. And he needs it done before our pre op appt late next week.

I’ve had childcare fall through for DD18 months so can no longer make my planned 38 week scan date, I’ve called to rearrange and been told scans are like gold dust and they can’t offer me a different date until the 2nd of March! Which is a teeny bit late.

I’ve asked if they can wave the no children coming with you rule since I need the scan, it’s not really a case of being able to just cancel and leave it. But alas the reply I got from the lady at the hospital was ‘well you’re just going to have to figure something out, you can’t not have the scan and we can’t get a different date’

DH is currently in hospital and will be for the next week at least (had a mini stroke) my mum was due to have DD but has had to cancel, I have no one else to take her and local childcare options are slim to none (and need more notice than I can give)

AIBU to wonder how on earth there is no wiggle room for such situations re taking a child into a scan, or to not quite believe there aren’t appts held back for emergencies, I had to go to maternity triage a couple of months ago and had a scan performed within 20 mins, not in the formal scan rooms but an ultrasound was conducted and they could see and measure all the same shit. I’m just a bit confused at the response being ‘well you have to come for the scan so figure something out’ response, and it was said like that (the lady was quite curt)

Onto the advice, what would you do in this situation? I’m genuinely flummoxed.

Some of us don’t even have that many. Old friends and family scattered across the world, no opportunity to make new friends.

Sick burn ! Poor birdy 🙁

Sorry you're having such a hard time in this thread op. In your shoes I'd just bring by child to the scan in her buggy as you said. A growth scan doesn't take long and no reason she can't be in the room with you or kept an eye on by the clerkess, a student, an auxiliary or a midwife for 5 mins since its an extraordinary situation. Hope all goes well!

Also, I wouldn't risk taking your child. There were really strict when I had my scan and I think they would refuse.

It wasn’t her choice for her husband to have a stroke.
It wasn’t her choice for her mum to have to go to court.

Do you think everyone who doesn’t have at least 5 adults they can always rely on for childcare should be sterilised?

Otherwise, was the the point of that snide, bitchy comment?

@Jessandtess

There will be scope and planning for emergencies. But your situation is not an emergency, it’s a pre-booked appointment at the request of your consultant. Women who are in need of an emergency scan will go through a different pathway to access that scan.

As it’s your consultant who has referred you for the scan, that would be my point of contact if I was in your situation. If it is as vital as you say, there is no way that they will want you to miss this. Please get in touch with your midwife/consultant who will be able to contact the ultrasound dept

Haha, but you wouldn’t be able to take your child in either

If the consultant requires a scan and due to extenuating circumstances the patient has no childcare, all the patient needs to do is note formally that the hospital staff refused to make a reasonable adjustment to facilitate the scan and is therefore culpable for any detriment that arises.

@Jessandtess I doubt this will be much comfort but I suspect your mum's court appearance will be delayed. It's quite rare for a case to run precisely on schedule so you might find - at the very last moment- she will be able to help you out. Of course you won't know that until you've already expended a lot of stress trying to sort it out.

In the meantime as advised by others ring your consultant and see what advice his office can give you.

In what world do consultants have time to answer phone calls from patients? You'll be lucky to get the secretary. OP is better off going to PALs to see if they can get someone to change her scan date.

If there are physically no appointment slots available then the consultant will need to step in and speak to the manager of the ultrasound department. The receptionist is very unlikely to be able to pull appointments out of thin air and the emergency slots set aside are specifically for that.

It sounds like all she has done at the moment is speak to a receptionist who doesn’t have the ability to schedule appointments out of the allotted list and hours available.

I know how difficult it is for scheduling departments in hospitals, it’s a logistical nightmare sometimes.

Hence why I advised speaking to the consultant and/or midwife who are responsible for her care, which it doesn’t seem she has yet done. And if they refuse to help then yes, maybe there would be grounds to complain.

Ours do regularly actually.

Have you got any friends who don't have children but would help?
I know that sounds ridiculous but I've seen friends say "oh I can't get anyone to sit with child for 30 mins/pick them up etc" and I'm like "hello, I'm here!"
I don't have DC so probably why people don't ask but am perfectly capable with a child for an hour!

Just take your DC - if the scan is necessary they’ll understand

They could likely change the date if needed to as well, I had scans every 2 / 3 days for a month - but each scan was booked dependent on how the blood flow looked on that days scan (if that makes sense)

I assume they keep some emergency slots open at antenatal - although on a couple of occasions I went to a different unit - could be worth speaking to a midwife rather than a receptionist

If you say what area you’re in someone may help, I would if it’s my area - I work in the hospital and am DBS checked - feel free to message me if you’re in south wales

The hospital is not responsible for your childcare issues OP, as curt as the lady was, she is right. Sort something out.

Honestly, the judgement on this thread is gutting.

OP I’m sorry you are under this pressure.

You’ve been getting the ‘computer says no’ from an admin person..

The policy re other kids is to stop every baby scan involving a gazillion family members X 20 in the waiting room.

Bring your toddler, tucked up in pram, explain your poor partner is in hospital with a stroke… they will be fine with it as an individual case.

Staff you will meet are actual humans who are opting to work in the sector because they are (99.8%) nice and good people who want to care.

I say this as a 2Xparent hospital worker house.

With all you have on your plate I wouldn’t even be considering this as a worry.

Bring your baby, do what you need to do, I’m pretty sure it will be fine.

FWIW covid aside, most sonographers I know HATED not being able to limit the number of people coming into scans to one other adult only. The number of people who pitch up with both sets of grandparents and a DH plus or minus any other children is astonishing. Sonographers are doing a detailed and tricky job, that’s why you need quiet and calm. And scan rooms can be tiny.

But the sonographers preference is not relevant in this particular situation- esp considering 1 quiet toddler in a pram.

I do smears and coils, pelvic exams and breast exams for mums who have NO choice but to bring a preschooler to their appointment.

(I do offer to stick whatever their YouTube cartoon preference is on my clinic computer, with mums permission, and we pop quickly behind the curtain for 10min to do whatever’s needed)

I don’t know a clinician who would refuse to see mum, if she needs medical care, because she has brought her little one with her.

This thread is insane… who rings their consultant to talk about their lack
lf childcare?! As if s/he cares whether the scan is done with or without a toddler in the room!

I also dont know any mum ever that would leave an 18 month old, during the day, with a random stranger off the Internet from childcare.co.uk or sitters.com in order to attend a pregnancy scan. Not one. If they couldn’t get someone to mind the toddler, they’d rock up with them and that’s that.

THIS is one of the many reasons the NHS is struggling. Patients requesting a bespoke service to fit around their personal lives and issues and asking for an exception to the rules (which are in place for a reason). If you were having a third, should they allow you to rock up with two kids in tow?

Hmm. I think the nhs is struggling because of the large numbers of people with flu and covid to be fair. Not because a small percentage of pregnant women want to bring their toddler to a pregnancy scan. The presence of a child in a buggy doesn’t cost the nhs any more money or waste any resources. (Although receptionists dicking around changing or cancelling appointments and patients trying to speak to consultants to change them does waste time and resources). So the best plan is just to allow the child in.

The thing is, with healthcare there isn’t a one size fits all solution unfortunately. Holistic care is necessary and “bespoke” solutions are needed to ensure the best outcome for the patient. That’s the aim at least.

There’s a few people on here who’ve said they would happily help a friend or an acquaintance out in this situation. It’s not a usual medical appt, it’s fairly urgent and OP’s husband is clearly very poorly. I don’t even know if the OP had asked around…? I’m not suggesting knocking on a neighbour’s door but any “mum” friends or friends of friends.
You would be surprised, a lot of people are kind and genuinely would want to be helpful.

Well to be fair, OP asked to change the date first and they couldn't do it so she's not left with any choice now. Either the child goes with her or she doesn't have the scan at all.

I am not saying that they should rearrange all their lists to fit around OP, and I'm sure OP doesn't expect that either.