To have DH's location visible at all times?

[Algor1thm]

This should really be AWBU because it's the same for both of us. We've had location sharing on between us 24/7 for a couple of years now. I can always see where DH is and vice versa. It's hugely helpful and we turned it on for very practical reasons. No more messaging each other where are you, having to explain that we're stuck in traffic, worrying about each other if we're running late etc. It's certainly not to 'check up on each other', there has never been a hint of suspicion of infidelity in the relationship and we both trust each other fully. Days go by without me checking his location, but it's very handy to have there when we need it.

We're both happy with the arrangement, but I said to a friend the other day that I'd just quickly check whether DH was home yet and looked at my phone, and she reacted like what I was doing was really awful. She was gobsmacked and sort of acted like it was a controlling/abusive thing (despite it being both ways). I've mentioned it to several friends since and I've had very mixed reactions. Some couples do the same, some thought it was very odd.

AWBU? Is this a weird invasion of each other's privacy?

I'm pretty sure ours are turning on, but I wouldn't know how to use it. Presumed it would just be a handy thing to have on in case the car/mobile phone was ever stolen.

If I think DH is somewhat late for the day he was supposed to have, I just call him.

I can see it handy for younger ones though. And I worry about our adult DD living by herself, her car is parked in an underground carpark with no security gate from the road into the basement to prevent randoms from being down there. That sort of thing worries me a lot..

I have my teens. They don’t have me. I don’t have my uni student child as he’s an adult and doesn’t need his mummy tracking him. DP and I don’t have each other as I trust him, have no interest in where he is when he’s not with me and we are both entitled to privacy both of us are perfectly capable of messaging or calling one another if we need to be on contact

I wouldn't be down with this. I dont want anyone constantly tracking me

I personally find it really weird and feel like those that do this must have some underlying trust issues.

My SIL and her husband have it on and he often will check where she is, i.e. she's finished work and not home within a certain time and sneaked for a Macdonalds and he clocks it on the app. Incidentally he cheated on her at the start of their relationship. He is the one who constantly tracks where she is...

me and my husband share locations! I don’t find it remotely weird! We have complete trust and I couldn’t imagine a reason that I wouldn’t be okay with him knowing where I am! I cant be dealing with messaging all the time and we both drive long distances so easy to have a quick look to see how close to home the other is which is handy for making dinner etc! Also good for if in an emergency for instance a car crash that the other would have an idea of location. Pay no attention to their comments and just do what works for you the same as they do what works for them

If it works for you it’s fine. we have locations enabled but that wouldn’t be my first option, it’s more for emergency. I would send my spouse a WhatsApp message if I want to know where he or her rather than first check their location.

if maybe I haven’t heard back for a while and there’s a reason to be worried I’ll check location. But as I said if you’re both aware and in agreement and ok with it then it’s fine.

It really depends on your relationship. I totally see it for practical reasons but if there is something off in a relationship then it isn't a good thing. I'd happily let my DH have my location and I doubt he'd ever check it.

Because coming home to a freshly made drink and a cuddle is the best, I couldn’t think of any reason why I wouldn’t share my location and neither can my husband!

Absolutely THIS.
It's only weird if the people using it make it weird.
For folks with long established relationships with no trust concerns but who are sometimes a bit scatty could be handy practically... Might suggest it to him... He is quite crap at looking at his phone so could be handy on occasion to know.

Been with my husband 20+years since our teens and we do it. We probably check once every month due to some need to know where each other is. No different to checking the ring doorbell etc!

We have it, husband does a where a call or text isn't usually an option either driving or up and tree. He also pretty much works in a different location everyday. I can see if he's running late so can pick up from nursery. Or can see if he's not left work yet and to leave our dinner and just start the kids.

Also I passed out with my first pregnancy at work and was rushed to hospital. no one could get hold of him so my sister popped to his location and told him.

Hardly, a Ring doorbell doesn't tell you where someone is 24/7.
Don't have tracking and wouldn't want it.

That's definitely the case for us. I have ADHD (and autism) and I have a tendency to lose track of time when I'm out. If I've been a while, DP can have a look and see where I am - it's especially useful as I tend to pop to the supermarkets late at night when DC are in bed.

I've used it occasionally for DP too eg/when we were meeting him off the train and wanted to know when to leave so he wouldn't be hanging around in the cold.

In fairness we rarely check it, and DP keeps forgetting it's on there (it was his idea). But he's the least controlling man I've ever met and he's never once tried to tell me where I can and can't go so I feel very comfortable with him being able to see it all.

It actually gives me freedom because I don't have to try and remember to send him messages if I get a mad brainwave while I'm out. I know he can check to see where I am if he needs to and honestly that's just way easier for me. I do have a habit of getting caught up in what I'm doing and time slipping away.

Maybe if he was constantly checking my location and making snide comments, I'd feel differently. But I can't understand how in a balanced, loving relationship that being able to see where your partner is could possible be detrimental? If they're the kind of person to track your every move, then fair enough, that's invasive but a quick check if you're late home etc - surely that's just a) good for safety and b) just more convenient?

I really don't understand the issue - unless there are problems within the relationship.

Not for me. I would absolutely HATE to be tracked no matter where I was. As for someone tracking me and timing me to get home for a hot drink and a cuddle???? That has Hallmark movie written all over it.

If you are both happy with it, i.e. it's between two consenting adults, then it's none of anyone else's damn business.

Personally I applaud for having such a comfortable and happy relationship xx

Part of the issue is the language being used.
'Tracking' suggests someone is watching you constantly when that's not the case.
It's just having your location visible should you want/need to use it.

Nobody is 'tracking' anybody!

And much like butt plugs, some people love them, some people it's a complete no.

Metaphorically, your butt, your plug, your rules.

We don't because we're not very technologically minded people but it would definitely be useful. I live in a traffic hotspot so my commute can take 35 minutes or 2 hours. It would be useful for my husband to know whether to get dinner ready for me to eat with him and our DC, or whether to crack on with theirs and leave me to sort something later.

We only ever go to work and come home though, neither of us have hobbies or many friends outside of work so location tracking would be very boring!

My husband and I are the same - we actually switched it on because we are both keen cyclists and prior to DS's arrival would both regularly go for several hour rides alone, so it was just a safety thing. But we find it handy for other things as well.

Sorry you have such a shit life. I feel for you ❤️ We all deserve to feel like we’re in a hallmark movie. Sending love xxxxx

Same here DH, teens and I all share locations. It's not a case of checking up or needing to know where someone is all the time but as you say OP is great for practical things like knowing how far from home DH is at dinner time without having to call whilst he's driving (drives for a living so could be anywhere & always on the road). Couldn't give two shits if they know where I am they are my family and there's no question of control or mistrust.

Wouldn’t be for me.

Me and DH share location and barely look at it tbh, absolutely no way are we ‘tracking’ eachother. We’re either WFH, in the office or doing hobbies, so it’s really not that exciting!
Especially in winter I’m outside running in the dark a lot, and frankly I feel safer knowing that DH knows my location, ditto with going home late at night.
DH is very scatty and never picks up his phone so it’s just a very easy way to check if he’s on his way home so I can get dinner on (although most of the time we do end up just calling eachother).
Each to their own, but I don’t find it strange.

Sorry you have such a shit life. I feel for you ❤️ We all deserve to feel like we’re in a hallmark movie. Sending love xxxxx

Hang on till I just check if Hubby darling is coming around the corner and I can meet him at the door with a big cup of steaming Hot Choccy Wocky and one of my Special Snuggle Wuggles!

The Waltons on acid.

Sounds lovely enjoy 😊