To have DH's location visible at all times?

[Algor1thm]

This should really be AWBU because it's the same for both of us. We've had location sharing on between us 24/7 for a couple of years now. I can always see where DH is and vice versa. It's hugely helpful and we turned it on for very practical reasons. No more messaging each other where are you, having to explain that we're stuck in traffic, worrying about each other if we're running late etc. It's certainly not to 'check up on each other', there has never been a hint of suspicion of infidelity in the relationship and we both trust each other fully. Days go by without me checking his location, but it's very handy to have there when we need it.

We're both happy with the arrangement, but I said to a friend the other day that I'd just quickly check whether DH was home yet and looked at my phone, and she reacted like what I was doing was really awful. She was gobsmacked and sort of acted like it was a controlling/abusive thing (despite it being both ways). I've mentioned it to several friends since and I've had very mixed reactions. Some couples do the same, some thought it was very odd.

AWBU? Is this a weird invasion of each other's privacy?

Think this is the issue, most on here aren’t really onboard with modern life.

Alright luv x

DH didn’t ‘insist’ on it, we tried Life360 out and both found it useful. Same with the shared Google calendar. And the family WhatsApp group. None of it necessarily at all, but all of it useful when managing busy lives.

People on here are being really incredibly rude about how others conduct their relationships.

Wolfout
I agree with your post.The individualism in society has filtered into relationships.

The idea of two partners mutually doing things to make life nice for each other seems to be seen as a weak thing to do, rather than part of a relationship that has give and take.
A relationship of mutual care and respect is not the same as a 50s marriage where the man is in charge and the wife has to serve her husband by warming his slippers.

Though speaking of being warm, DH sometimes puts a hot water bottle in my side of the bed to make it warm for me, and I'll make him a brew when he comes home from work. We don't have location tracking. I can't work out which of us is meant to be oppressed in this situation.

@purpledalmation I think you may have misinterpreted my post.

Who is insisting their partner shares their location?

Nobody.

can't work out which of us is meant to be oppressed in this situation.

You are mutually oppressed.

It’s only fair.

I couldn't be arsed with it tbh, simply because DH gets bored and would be texting me going "why are you at Tesco's AGAIN? You only went yesterday". I don't have any problem with using it from a controlling/trust POV.

Just remember making a cup of tea for the other is controlling and co dependent.🤣🤣

I posted on another thread about tracking a few days ago and my view is that I would hate to be monitored like this by anyone, be that a partner, my children, my parents - it's a hard no from me.

I also don't think it's healthy to enable this behaviour and show our children that it's okay to track and monitor other people's movements 24/7. Having said that, if it works for you, fine - I just hate how normalised it has become.

My location is on because I go running alone often and I like the fact DH knows where I am incase anything happens. Kidnapping is highly unlikely but more if I have an accident when no one else is around. It’s just practical sometimes and safer.

it's okay to track and monitor other people's movements 24/7

I doubt anybody tracks and monitors other people’s movements 24/7.

Who would have the time?

There is zero chance I would allow anyone track me. I’d find it suffocating. Neither do I wish to track anyone or have the ability to do so. I’m a very private person by nature and would find this horribly intrusive.

Not for me at all. So weird how normalised this has become.
We seem to be handing over more and more personal freedoms with every passing year , and much of it without any questioning at all .

Just my opinion though .

I also don't think it's healthy to enable this behaviour and show our children that it's okay to track and monitor other people's movements 24/7

why do people think that anyone who has this technology enabled tracks anyone 24/7? I have a job, 3 kids, hobbies, a life. I haven’t got the time or inclination to track anyone 24/7. As I said above I think I’ve ‘tracked’ DH maybe 3 times in 5 years, when I couldn’t get hold of him.

I probably should have said, have the ability to track 24/7. I don't believe it's healthy but if you do, then crack on.

But waddle, maybe he didn't want to talk to you? If I don't answer my phone that usually means I don't want to talk to whoever has called me.

No, that wasn’t the case any of the 3 times in the 5 years I’ve checked his location. If he didn’t want me to know where he was he could have turned location tracking off, just like I would do if I didn’t want to be found.

I wonder if the same people that share location are the same ones that have joint facebook accounts etc too?

No, I have my own personal (and work) social media. DH doesn't have SM, other than an empty Twitter account that he uses to browse various accounts occasionally. He knows I have some SM but we don't share one.
And DD obviously has her own SM accounts, totally separate to mine.

I wonder if the same people that share location are the same ones that have joint facebook accounts etc too

Not the case for us. DH doesn’t have Facebook. I have an account but haven’t been on there for about a year. We both have Instagram but neither use it much.

Personally we just WhatsApp each other but if it works for you and you know it’s mutual and not for reasons of coercive control then who cares what anyone else thinks. You do you.

Waddle, why couldn't you have waited until he called you back? What was looking at his location going to do? It's the constant need for reassurance I find bizarre.

We set something up when oldest starting going out/to school on her own.

Only time I ever use it to see where the other half is, is to see if it’s time to make a tea so it’s ready for when she gets in.

If you dont have your location services on - if you misplace your phone, how do you find it without turning the house upside down?

That's the main reason we have it.

I think it's each to their own! My husband and I don't have it but if he suggested it I'd be fine with it as I know he would be if I suggested it. I can definitely see the benefits of it! It might be something we do as a family when our children are older.