To wonder why so many people choose to have such a short age gap between their children?

[Lightningfast]

I hear of so many people with two children two years apart and can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would want

a. To be pregnant with a child of around only a year old
b. To have a newborn baby when the older one is still a toddler and therefore still needs support in so many really basic ways. Sure, they don’t need the same level of support as a new baby but still...

I’ve heard the ‘they will be close enough to be friends’ theory but in practice I have seen at least as many if not rather more siblings who are close in age but are not especially close emotionally and it feels a rather weak reason.
I see this happening so often, even with mothers who have really struggled with getting their first baby to feed, sleep etc. and yet seem hellbent on having another only a matter of months later. Just...why?

If this is you I’m not judging, just genuinely interested in what you are getting out of it.

I'm one and done so can't really answer. I imagine they just want to get the baby/toddler stage out the way all at once.

Age of mother?

It’s gets all the baby and nappy stage out of the way doesn’t it. I have a 5 year age gap but I can see the benefits of having them closer.

We only have one but someone told us not long after our child was born they had 3 really close so they got all the nappy, baby things out way close together

It made sense to me but no way was I having another

For us OP it was the age gap between me and DH there is 10 years and he didn’t want to be an old dad, had our first when I was 25 and the next 17 months later and that is is done meaning we will hopefully have time together once the kids are up

I was on the older side and didn't want to wait. I found it easier to do the baby stage in one go. It's easier having 2 close in age for various reasons, you don't have to drag a preteen round peppa pig world.

Taking 3 successive maternity leaves is better than 2 spaced out?

Having an under 3 when you take maternity saves money as under 3 childcare is often more than over 3 childcare?

I didn't find it a problem.
Mother Nature sometimes intervenes.
There isn't really a right age gap.

Well, I was going for 3 years, not 2. However, we started trying early because it took a long time for me to fall pregnant with DD1. And we were older than we had been, obviously.

Then I got pregnant first time of trying because of course I did.

Fortunately this was in the days before the world went completely stupid and so I could afford to keep DD1 in nursery whilst on (6 months) mat leave with DD2, and could also (just) afford to have them both in nursery. And once DD2 started talking fluently they were incredibly close.

Oh and the expensive childcare stage is all together instead of starting again only
Need holiday care now

I wanted to spend my mat leaves with my kids. I had three in four years. So when I started my third mat leave l, my eldest still hadn't started school. It was magic. They are all primary age now and are so close still. I wanted them close in age for these reasons, and also because I didn't know how many I wanted, so needed to fit it all in.

I always wonder this too!!!!!!!

I just loved being a parent so much that I couldn't wait to have another. There is no big deep and meaningful explanation. I would have had another with a smaller gap but had to wait until dh was on board too.

about*

Historically it would have been due to lack of contraception.

I don’t understand the appeal in modern life, personally.

There are two years between my two. Heading into my late 30s, I didn't feel i had the time to delay. Glad I didn't. Flipping hard work but now staring down the barrel of 40 the idea of going back to the newborn stage scares the living daylights out of me!

Age of mother I reckon as PP says.

I voted YANBU only because I can’t understand how you can enjoy each baby if you have another baby while you’ve already got one!

A) you overestimate 'planning' as a thing. Instinct (and sex drive) is a powerful thing.

B) bigger age gaps is much harder as you're juggling such different needs.

Age of mum,'maybe she wants to get babies out the way so can go back to work or just cos she wants too. I couldn't have done it though.

I can't really understand why you would want a larger age gap than a couple of years, quite honestly. Why would I want to get one child to school and then start again with a baby - that's 8 years of being tied up with preschoolers!

These days lots of women have their first child fairly late, so they don't want to hang around too long to have the second. I had mine two and a bit years apart. They are great friends!

Because people have different preferences to you? It’s not rocket science 🙄

A closer age gap has huge benefits (as well as obvious downsides). Some parents choose those benefits.

I stayed at home until mine started school, close together was important for financial reasons

Some people have fertility issues so don't have the luxury of time. Some like the idea of them getting on well as they're close in age. Some don't care if others don't understand their choices

I wonder this too but I can see that there is something in getting it all out of the way. My DS just turned 2 and I think if we’d left it much longer it would have been too hard to go back a step. I honestly think I’d have a nervous breakdown with a baby and a child under two though.