To think not everyone gets it think rough?

[Sexismdoesntrule]

X oldest 2.5
Y youngest 1.5

X not walking when we got to town, having to carry them both into the bank, them screaming all the way home from the bank, then shouting ‘where’s the remote’ repeatedly whilst I microwaved beans and made scrambled egg&cheese, Y screaming banging cupboards and my legs whilst I made it, putting it down for them on the table and X screaming about the remote still, refused to come to the table so I brought him there and he slapped me three times and scratched me, how I am starving because they ate my breakfast I made.. well licked it, and now I want food but I have to sort them out first, then Y is covered in beans along with the table so everything need to be cleaned. X refusing to eat anything even though he’s hungry, and to top it off they’ve now ripped the curtains down from in the kitchen and are running around the table chasing each other with it.. there’s food all over the floor and table it’s going to need a wash.

Why is MY life so loud, why can’t I have MY old life back where I could fulfil tasks in their entirety in silence. This is obscene, why isn’t videos of this used as contraceptive?

It is hard with 2 so close, but life definitely only gets louder for quite a while.

It's hard to make strategies in the moment but another time I'm suggest

Use a double buggy or a single with buggy board or back carried. (I preferred to carry my eldest as they could talk to me if they were uncomfortable or slipping.)

Snacks in the buggy. Fruit, puffy baby crisps, cheese toasty. It helps if you can predict their hunger and get something in them before they get too hungry.

Acceptance. This is what life with multiple little ones is like. It's barmy. It's loud and it's relentless. But in what feels like 5 minutes they'll be too cool to chat to you and off doing their own thing. You likely won't remember these bits so well, just the cuddles and the closeness and how uncomplicated it was in its own way.

I promise you 9/10 when another parent is watching you handle or fail to handle a meltdown they're actually just reminiscing about their own kid's horrific public meltdowns.

Is this kind, helpful or just another chance to brag on what a perfect parent you are? Grow up and have some empathy

I remember this stage so well

i had two-11 months and a week between them

It was all about just getting through that minute-I remember thinking ‘just get to quarter past-don’t even think about half past-deal with it as it comes’

the days just went on forever and a day-I’d be up at half 5 at the latest,get through the day best I could,and then bedtime-to look forward to another night of broken sleep-get up on 5 hours if your lucky and do it all again

it was the chaos,the turn-your-back and something else happens-deal with that-only to stumble into the next set of chaos-rinse and repeat all day

the whinging on top of that-that non-stop,low grade whinging that goes through your skull-so I’d take them out,just to get away from it-they’d do exactly what yours have done-there was no escape

It didn’t help that everytime I tried to reach out for help,my mother would tell me ‘I had 4 of you!twins on top!you lot never did anything like that!your doing it all wrong!it’s not them!your just a shit mother!’

wht helped was finding a group of mums that got it-in my case it was a one parent group-those mums kept me together-no judging,no shame,no telling me I was getting it wrong-just a group of women who got it-we supported each other

then,they started school and it got better-the years slipped by and they are all grown up now

(and my dad tells me my mother did have it hard-she’d been there herself-but she’s that narcissistic,she believes she was perfect and sailed through it all-it’s all insta mums in her head-smoke,mirrors and bullshit)

you’ve got this-your an amazing mum who is just struggling-ask for some support and I know it’s not much use now-but they do grow up and you’ll look back and be so proud of yourself for surviving

Tough age gap but things like carrying them both are adding to your woes. At least the youngest should be ina buggy or you are making things more difficult.

Similarly strap the little one into the high chair and give him a banana or a few raisins (anything instantly available) to occupy him while you prepare dinner.

Put the telly on for the two year old if you need him to be still for 20 minutes before you start making food.

Mealtimes are messy. Not a huge amount you can do other than have a cloth close at hand.

Having them running about while you try to do things is never going to work. Do you have a section you can gate them into? I had a playpen that turned into a room divider so they were limited to one end of the kitchen where they had toys and I could see them while I cooked etc

This all sounds really typical and I feel for you. I feel the same. I would just love my old life back sometimes. No one ever prepares you for what it’s like. It’s so hard. I do think it gets easier. A bit. But I’ve just had to lug my 4 year old round the shops as she refused to walk.

This 👏 What a dickface Solo is. I find it very difficult to believe that an utter twunt could raise a perfect child 😏

Yes, we had a very long nursery run when mine were small that because of timings had to be done first before walking dd1 on to school. There's absolutely no way we'd have made it all that way to get them both there in time some days with dd2 walking. Similarly the looks always came from those appearing in cars who often had less distance to come than we did.

2.5 year age gap is ideal for the chance of a quieter life. I have a gap like you and it’s hectic but as they get older they play together and love the small age gap.

i do think a lot of people have days like this though - you just don’t see it!

I don't drive either, but i ditched the buggy when each child turned 3. They did adapt really well and now they are much older they will walk pretty much forever.

However, op's oldest is only 2.5 and I think that is a reasonable age to be in a buggy however you look at it

I don't drive either, but i ditched the buggy when each child turned 3. They did adapt really well and now they are much older they will walk pretty much forever.

Mine were great walkers too but when you had to get a couple of miles along busy city streets by 8am often in terrible weather that was not the time to be enforcing that 😆

It sucks now but the small age gap will make things easier when they're older in lots of practical ways, like they'll only be at different schools for one year, activities/ days out/ holidays/films/ toys etc are going to be age appropriate for both of them at the same time. Just need to get over the hump.

God, this made me laugh...
And I only have one child!

Said to friends recently that I’m fine with the kid. It’s the constant mess / house work / upheaval that’s so hard to cope with. Don’t know how my Granny did it with six.

@Dailydripfed my husband was SO judgemental about buggy usage when we first met. For context - he had a 3 year old son who he'd regularly pick up from mum's and take to his house - walking. Poor sod was bloody exhausted! And I'll never forgive him for thinking it would be a lovely treat for me for him to collect me from work one day - I was heavily pregnant and he had walked the 2 miles to collect me...with our two year old twins. We had to carry them home.

I don't know why he was so judgemental about it, but I basically told him it's none of his business and maybe that three year old has been up and about for hours. And I won't be martyring myself and not using a buggy for two toddlers and then two toddlers and a baby because he's got some bee in his bonnet about it!

Just to add, my kids are now 17 and 11 yrs and despite using strollers up until they were 5, both are now capable of walking 😆 It’s not like they’re still in strollers or wheelchairs because they never learned to walk ffs 😂

Mine are 13 months apart but was never like that at that age. I don't think you can really control your child's temperament.

What I can say is I was extremely routine and ritualistic at that age. Load and unload them from car in same order. I would time errands or travel to outings to nap time strapped in buggy and have frozen meals or packed lunch. Always find park or space to run off energy. Same at home. It actually gave me a very nice maternity leave as I managed to visit museums etc. People were mostly kind and would help me lift the double buggy down stairs... i genuinely cant recall a meltdown but it was very tiring to keep engaging them. I feel even more tired now they are older as they slept a lot more hours as toddlers.

They are still quite hyper and antsy especially when hungry. They play alot but have some intense sibling rivalry resulting in fights. Good news is that unlike single children they can entertain themselves for hours in imaginative workd and conspire against parents. They also talk back and argue a lot for the simplest things like homework, brushing teeth and aren't a walkover. When one is missing the other desperately misses the other and the noises/arguments and you will too.

There are two schools of thought on this.

The first is "there are no bad kids, just bad parents" viewpoint. If you subscribe to this view it's your fault they are so badly behaved - your discipline level is not sufficient. However you punish them currently is not working so you need to become a lot stricter and creative with your punishments. People who subscribe to this theory believe that kids are only bad because they are allowed to be.

The other way of looking at it is to accept there are just some children who are inherently "good" or "bad" and that no matter what the parent does, nothing will change it. In this case you still have to try of course, so ramp up the punishments for bad behaviour but fully expect them to not make a change.

Basically, both outlooks determine that stricter discipline and punishment is needed. The former outlook says it's the parents' fault but things can be changed, the latter says it's not the parents' fault and you just have to get on with it.

I understand. I was in a similar position, years ago. Now they're grown and I miss it.

It was the best of times and the worse of times it was the time soggy half eaten toast was shoved in your mouth as a sign of love and affection it was time getting to loo on your own became a rare treat...

We had two double buggies - front and back, side by side, a big pushchair - been a travel system - with huge basket and two could get in it - buggy board eldest promptly refused to use, several slings and a carrier - a fold down side car contraption attached to buggy - and several single buggies - and back packs for toddlers with built in reins some of that was new soem second hand from other parents - all needed.

My MIL used to go on about how she carried DH at 3 for miles - put huge pressure to leave buggy at home for youngest but even with 4 adults we struggled carrying a tired 2 year old. It wasn't unheard of for 4 year old eldest to get in buggy as younger one walked on very long days out - younger two were better walkers and by 3 youngest was mostly walking and pushchair would be used for coats and bags.

It is hard - I personally found it easier to be out most days- toddler groups soft play playgrounds libraries - so walk out somewhere different and they'd be calmer in the house and less time to trash things. Often they'd also he happy sitting playing at table in kitchen other times I'd have three at my feet trying to cook round - other time tv would be a distraction. I think it's finding what works - making life as easy as possible and accepting there will be bad days. They also get older and the problems and challenges change.

MaryMcCarthy
Have you watched that programme about naughty dogs on Channel 5?

When dogs are naughty it's invariably the fault of the owners. I believe kids are the same.

My jaw is literally trailing along the ground that you think this is okay to say to someone, let alone anyone who’s obviously looking for tips, help and solidarity.

And this, dear readers, is why I am (happily, and now smugly) child-free.

All I can say is it will get better, and these years will pass quickly.

Don’t know how my Granny did it with six.

My granny had 6, too, and she was a single parent. Luckily for her, there was a war on and the older ones were evacuated.

OP no real practical advice except it sounds like a microwave egg cooker might come in handy for moments like described. I’m not going to claim they produce gourmet scrambled eggs but they get the job done no attention needed. I’d look for other things like this to help with meal prep, because in my experience that’s when everything goes to shit.

Egg cooker -Amazon

Hope you got a little peace and quiet.

Yeah, but baby animals are cute🤗

@ScramblePud - love your post, especially the beans part! Very wise advice here.

You’re doing fine, and it gets easier, I promise.
I’ve been there too, albeit with a gap of 6 more months, but sn too.
At your stage it’s purely about survival. Don’t mind the posters analysing every sentence - they aren’t in the thick of it. Just hang in there.