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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you needed to leave the country quickly...

343 replies

need2escape · 10/01/2023 12:49

And as quietly as possible, where would you start?

Name change and shameless post here for traffic.

Not doing anything illegal such as child abduction. Just may need to leave the country as quickly as possible and return to my home country.

No family here to help, some friends but not sure how much they could assist.

Own house which is mortgaged, car on finance, small loan, credit cards, phone contracts, the usual.

And my job.

House full of possessions I wouldn't really need to take with me.

Where would you begin?

OP posts:
BathTangle · 10/01/2023 12:51

Permanently or temporarily?

WestOfWestminster · 10/01/2023 12:52

Depends on if you want to come back or not, and if you want to sell the property or not?

Original poster
need2escape · 10/01/2023 12:53

More than likely permanently, but wouldn't rule out "ever" returning.

OP posts:
MaverickGooseGoose · 10/01/2023 12:53

How quick is quick - straight away, 24 hours, a week etc?

BathTangle · 10/01/2023 12:53

Depending on where you are going and if you will be able to deal with your affairs from there, you might need to give friends power of attorney to deal with your finances but I don't know how quickly it can be arranged.

Original poster
need2escape · 10/01/2023 12:54

As quickly as I could, but by the end of Feb at the latest.

OP posts:
Original poster
need2escape · 10/01/2023 12:55

Going to Australia so quite far.

OP posts:
RedCarsGoFaster · 10/01/2023 12:58

Can you pay the loans, credit cards and mortgage from abroad? If so, just go and leave it all there if it's a serious emergency scenario.

If you need to wrap up the house etc to be able to afford to move, could you convert the mortgage to a BTL and rent it out furnished? Use a local agent to manage it.

LisaD1 · 10/01/2023 12:59

I’d put the house on the market with the most aggressive agents I could find and get it sold. Use the funds to clear the debts/loans and then decide which things came with me and instruct a house clearance company for the rest. Should all be able to be down very quickly. We completed on our house in 15 days from viewing to moving in.

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/01/2023 12:59

It rather depends on your reasons for leaving and what you have in the way of liquid assets. If you have savings in the bank and a decent amount of credit available to you to tide you over in the country you’re heading to until you find a job there, you can just hand in your notice at work, book a flight and some short term accommodation and then carry out the processes for longer term arrangements / sell your house and tie up loose ends from overseas with a few return visits where required.

If you’d need to sell your house to free up enough money for you to be able to leave then your approach a “we buy any house” type company who can close the deal in a couple of months and use that time to close off as many other arrangements as well.

heldinadream · 10/01/2023 13:00

Ruthlessly get rid of stuff, get a paid for clean on the house and rent it out through an agency (I know you can do this and live abroad, but not the details, but this gives you options). Pay off the loan if you can ditto return car etc. Try and leave as many loose ends tied up as possible.
Good luck OP. I'm sure it can be done.

RedCarsGoFaster · 10/01/2023 13:00

If you need to sell the house urgently, there are cash buyer companies, but you'll take a big hit on the value for the sake of an urgent sale: By way of example - www.webuyanyhouse.co.uk/

Bunnyannesummers · 10/01/2023 13:03

Start sorting through your house now to get rid of stuff you don’t want, find a local charity shop who’ll take it. Things that can’t go to charity shops like bedding and towels, can go to animal rescues. Toiletries to women’s shelters
reduce to minimum - so how many plates/towels do you actually need to manage day to day? Try to get down to that over a particularly ruthless weekend

Original poster
need2escape · 10/01/2023 13:03

I have a fair whack of money in my house, over 50% of what it's worth.

But I have very little cash and not enough to pay off PCP or my credit cards or loans (they aren't huge payments).
My mortgage payment is very small as well.

My issue would be that I am pretty heavily pregnant and would be leaving my job so no income, losing maternity entitlement etc. I wouldn't be able to pick up another job right now at home due to me being so pregnant (I know they can't discriminate but realistically).

So no income to keep paying mortgage/loans etc over here if I leave.

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 10/01/2023 13:04

LisaD1 · 10/01/2023 12:59

I’d put the house on the market with the most aggressive agents I could find and get it sold. Use the funds to clear the debts/loans and then decide which things came with me and instruct a house clearance company for the rest. Should all be able to be down very quickly. We completed on our house in 15 days from viewing to moving in.

If this really is a go and never come back scenario, you're leaving and that's it, then this is a reasonable plan.

Hope you're ok OP.

SheWoreYellow · 10/01/2023 13:07

You can sell a house remotely. You could get it tidied and make arrangements with estate agents, do your id stuff with them and a solicitor then leave them keys to do viewings and off you go.

CalistoNoSolo · 10/01/2023 13:08

All you need is essential paperwork, passport (and visa?), money and change of clothes. Depends how fast and how stealthy you need to be though.

Guiltypleasures001 · 10/01/2023 13:10

Too pregnant to fly op? Everything else do remotely
Good luck

heldinadream · 10/01/2023 13:10

How pregnant? Are they going to let you fly to Australia?
Is this really your best plan? Can you not get away from whatever it is but stay here? I'm only saying that because of the pregnancy, not judging you at all OP.

PolarBlair · 10/01/2023 13:12

Yep, you might not be able to fly depending on your stage of pregnancy
I would also perhaps tell someone you're going and get them to inform police so they don't think you're missing

StridTheKiller · 10/01/2023 13:13

Oh come on OP you have to tell us what you've done?!

Peridot1 · 10/01/2023 13:16

@StridTheKiller - no she doesn’t.

NumberTheory · 10/01/2023 13:17

Selling your home my not be very “silent” (depending on who you need to keep it silent from). So renting out might be more sensible, especially if your mortgage would be small enough that it would provide you with an income to see you through until you could work again.

It’s probably also going to be faster than selling. But may be complicated by not having much cash to meet requirements for renting out.

heldinadream · 10/01/2023 13:18

StridTheKiller · 10/01/2023 13:13

Oh come on OP you have to tell us what you've done?!

Yeah - no she doesn't have to tell us anything, and the assumption that SHE has done something rather than that she's trying to get away from some threat could be way wide of the mark.
Anyway OP is fully entitled to ask for advice without disclosing anything on here.

Original poster
need2escape · 10/01/2023 13:18

Good advice everyone, thank you.

By heavily I mean I am in my 3rd trimester but not due until March so I would be hoping to leave and still be fit to fly but this is a good point?

My babies Father is an abusive twat. I have another thread on here from a while ago but I've name changed. Many people on there told me that given I'm from another country that in my shoes they would go back before baby is born.

I'm doing the freedom programme and I really want to get away from him, and have my baby in peace and with family support. I really have very little support here.

OP posts:
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