If you needed to leave the country quickly...

[need2escape]

And as quietly as possible, where would you start?

Name change and shameless post here for traffic.

Not doing anything illegal such as child abduction. Just may need to leave the country as quickly as possible and return to my home country.

No family here to help, some friends but not sure how much they could assist.

Own house which is mortgaged, car on finance, small loan, credit cards, phone contracts, the usual.

And my job.

House full of possessions I wouldn't really need to take with me.

Where would you begin?

Re the bathroom- they can be expensive to do so I guess u don't have the money? A toilet that works and a shower that half works is OK... just reduce the rent slightly.
Maybe put flooring in as it will look better.
Depending on area estate agents might take 12% to manage, and u might need a licence to rent (although probably not - mainly London/ 3+ bedrooms I think)
Also need things like electricity safety test for house (eicr), safety certificate for all gas appliances, PAT tests for appliances you're leaving, epc). But estate agents can advise.
In your shoes I'd leave ASAP. Well done for working out u need to leave. Xx

Hi OP, this is a great list, well done!

Just want to flag that you want to see your GP FIRST to get the fit to fly certificate sorted, because if you go off work sick then that might make GP reluctant to issue your fit to fly? And that's a BIG problem. Get that certificate as a huge first priority, IMHO.

Then I'd personally get the flight booked, if I were you. So you know your timeframes and can be super focused.

You should look into sendmybag.com for shipping your sentimental items ASAP - they start from £69 for a suitcase UK-AUS. Much cheaper than storing!

Then once you've boxed up your luggage and the stuff you're shipping, contact a house clearance company to take the rest of your personal stuff (leaving key items of furniture for staging) - they won't use a skip and they might pay you instead of vice versa!

Hopefully you'll get lucky with the car and get paid out for that too...

Wish you all the best.

In my heart I think renting the house for now would feel less final, even though I know I'll never be able to come back if I leave.

As I said before it's so difficult to think of everything I've worked for, all my familiar things just being left here. I love my home and I used to love my life here before I got mixed up with the wrong person.

I've got my babies Moses basket ready next to my bed

But I think organising to rent the house out will be too much, with the bathroom issue and then changing the mortgage to buy-to-let etc. I'm just not sure I could manage it all, selling seems easier in ways.

Lots of luck O.P

Great advice on here

It sounds like a really tricky situation but speaking to a letting agent may help you think through some of the possibilities. It's likely that they will have experience of overseas landlords or even those who live some distance from their property and so pay for a full management service, potentially including the possibility of organising decorating, cleaning etc. One option for the unfinished bathroom might be to have a key-operated lock installed and arrange to rent the house with no access to that bathroom (and ensure the property isn't advertised as having two bathrooms). If the agent holds the key in case of emergency, they may also be willing to facilitate refurbishment of it at some point in the future i.e. once you've got enough rental income to afford it.

Your new home in Oz will be fabulous. It's only natural to feel the way you feel about leaving your home. Particularly in these circumstances.

Is your ex likely to trash your house if you rented? Regardless, a clean break might make it easier for you to move on emotionally, let alone the effort of getting it set up for rent, as you say.

You are right. Renting a property out is not straightforward and not something that you can rush into, even with a property that is in good repair, which yours is not. Add to that being an overseas landlord and it’s even more complicated. I have been there and done that with a simple new build and all the time in the world. You don’t have to decide before you get to Aus though, just concentrate on getting there and having the baby and leave the decisions for later.

Selling rather than renting out your house is a perfectly valid decision OP. People were only suggesting renting because you need to leave the country quickly, probably before you can get the house sold. That’s all.

Hi OP, you've had lots of good advice about the practicalities so I just thought I'd offer my personal experience on the emotional side of things.

Different reasons, but I packed my most precious momentos in a box to go in my friends attic (eventually sent on to me when I could afford it) and jumped on a plane with only my luggage/what I had on my person (and I literally had things like my computer's hard drive in my coat pocket because it would have put the luggage over the weight limit) and moved country (to the UK in my case!). I couched surfed in friends houses til I got a tiny bedsit. It felt awful to be 'starting over' in my thirties at the time. No job, no house, no possessions. Looking back on it now though, I don't miss any of that stuff. I quickly acquired new stuff that I became attached to as much as the old stuff! (And eventually a decent job and house).

I also think (having subsequently had children) that having a child is a really big change anyway. There are hobbies I had pre children that I'm just not interested in now and I'm into other stuff, also my priorities in how I live have changed (things being wipe clean is so much more important now!), so maybe the stuff you are struggling to give up now is not stuff you'd care about in the future anyway.

I know it's hard, but I've never regretted it for a second. A fresh start with your family and a new baby sounds lovely.

I’ve only skimmed through so sorry if anyone suggested this and I missed it, but there are “we buy any house” services out there too - you won’t get marked value for it but they claim to be quick. Might not be the right solution but could be worth having a look.

A letting agent have various contractors on their books and can get the property fit for renting.

They could deduct cost of work from future rent.

this would be best option.

You then just sell what furniture you need to.

Pack and post to Australia all sentimtal stuff.

Return car.

Go on maternity leave.

Inform banks etc of change of address.

You need bank account for rental income.

It would be worth asking your mortgage lender for a break in monthly payments this would free up some cash to help you

@need2escape you may not have to change to buy to let, depending on your mortgage provider. We rent our mortgaged property because we'll need to return to the UK at some point. Every year we apply for permission to the Halifax to rent out the property, it's an online application valid for a year.

It can be really stressful renting from abroad, especially when it's your home as opposed to a property you bought to rent out. You need a good relationship with your tenant/letting agent but we arranged it remotely. To give you an idea of figures, the rent is £700pm and after fees and tax we receive £498. We have annual insurance, accountants fees and safety certificates as well as repairs to deduct from that.

Op, I really feel your considering too many steps. Particularly if your babies dad is what you say he is, do not underestimate how much he may be watching the house.

Priority 1 is to have that baby in Oz

Book a ticket
Pack a suitcase
Leave keys with a trusted friend and ask them to check on the house occasionally.
Start your maternity leave and go

Come back in 12 months leaving baby with your mum for a couple of weeks to sort everything out.

Just to wish you all the best. Hope you get things sorted.

All good service on here @need2escape.

One thing I would add is get a ring doorbell on your front door before you leave so you can see when/if he turns up to the property. I'd do front and back doors - as a security measure whilst the property is empty tbh. It would give you some idea of shat, if anything, is going on.

Anyway- good luck in getting going. Let us all know ehen you are away and safe in Oz.

Well said.

Booked your one way ticket home yet, OP ?

@need2escape I am going to reiterate consider paying for a VPN this will enable you to access all UK websites as though you were in the UK.

House insurance you need to let them know the house is empty - do this once you are in Aus.

You will need to make sure you tell as few people as possible what your plans are as you do not want your ex to find a way to stop you leaving the country.

Can he stop you leaving the country - legally I mean- not talking about coercion/harrassment etc.?

Maybe someone else could answer that. I'm not trying to be awkward and make problems where there may be none, but I would be interested in the legalities surrounding that, if anyone knows.

None of us know when we might need such info either for ourselves or our loved ones.

@Flowersinthebasement no he can't, until the baby is born there is nothing he can legally do to prevent the "baby" being removed from the UK.

And he absolutely can’t stop an Australian citizen going to Australia.

She is an adult, they're not even legally tied by marriage (not that that would allow him to stop her either but it means he has no automatic parental responsibility for baby). He can't, nor will he ever be able to stop her leaving the country. That's why she can come back to sort out affairs later. He can petition the court to stop the baby being removed from the country if baby is born here or bought into country at a later date. Even then, she would be allowed to go, she just couldn't take baby with her. So she would need to leave baby in Oz.

Don't tell him you're going, I'd block him and not tell him anything. Don't help him out by telling him where to find you both.

If you need to leave then that has to be your priority.

in your shoes I’d call in sick tomorrow and get on a plane on Friday.

if you don’t make it to Australia before the baby is born you will never go, you’ll be stuck with the father forever and there will be nothing you can do. Nothing is worth risking that.

once you’re in Australia virtually everything can be sorted remotely. You could even fly back after the baby is born if you wanted to sort things in person.

If you could get rid of the car before you go that might free up some cash - I was just called by the garage I bought my car from and offered £3k less than I bought it for four years ago, due to shortage of cars.

Given you put £5k down you might walk away with a few hundred quid. Call them tonight and ask what the options are (although tell them you have a private buyer interested but just want a low hassle sale and thought it might be easier to sell back to them).

I hope you’re ok OP.

I agree with others, renting the house out, even if you do get a letting agent, will be so stressful for you, just sell it, once your back in Australia.