Dh disapproves of coffee in bed?

[Yesterdaywasntreal]

Please help settle a disagreement. Early mornings with dcs are proving challenging atm, therefore I have suggested bringing our Dulce Gusto pod machine up to the bedroom. This will mean i can enjoy a quick coffee before the chaos starts, rather than during or not at all. Dh thinks it should stay in the kitchen "where it belongs." He says coffee in bed is lazy. AIBU or should I be a rebel?

I don’t see why you can’t go down to get one and bring it back up? Or stay downstairs and enjoy before the chaos? Just seems an extra faff to have it upstairs. Plus what happens when you want another coffee? You have to go upstairs for it

Tbh I am mostly on his side unless you have a sideboard with room for it, a mini fridge for milk (if you need it) and ample storage for pods etc. I enjoy a coffee in bed too, especially in a hotel where it's all conveniently located in the rooms. In my bedroom I wouldn't personally have one as the fridge / noise / cleaning etc would put me off.

But if it's making your mornings easier and he's insisting it stays, I'd take it as an offer to bring you up coffees 😊

I mean if you want...but I can't see the appeal.

I used to have a small coffee machine in my bedroom while still living with exH. If I went downstairs to get coffee, even on his days, the DC would hear me and I got no peace. Coffee in bed gave me a chance to wake up, run through my diary on my phone, and generally prepare for the day, before the chaos started. (And be before exH started with being a dick!)

If your DH is dead set against it, perhaps he should volunteer to run point on all things child related, until you've had your coffee.

I'm with your DH tbh but I know things like coffee pod machines and teas maids are popular for the bedroom. My thoughts are unless you live in a mansion or you have physical disabilities the kitchen can't be that far away that you can't just go and get a drink to bring it back upstairs for the morning.

I wouldn't want a coffee machine and all the other bits and bobs in the bedroom. Go downstairs and make one then take it back up with you.

Drinking a coffee in bed is one thing, the coffee machine in a bedroom just doesn't seem to make sense logistically. Don't you use milk? Where would that go?
All the other times you want to make a coffee or make one for guests you would have to go up to your bedroom to do it which seems weird.

I have a teas made in the bedroom and love it! We go to bed early and watch a film or read and this means I can make a hot drink without getting cold or waking the DC up by traipsing down stairs. Each morning I just swill out the mug Iv used and refill the water bottle.

YABU

Then will you carry it back down?

Would it disturb DC if you went to kitchen to make coffee?

I don't think I'd want a coffee machine in the bedroom but if someone wants to tell me coffee in bed is "lazy" they can fuck off with their judgey pejorative tone.

'Drinking a coffee in bed is one thing, the coffee machine in a bedroom just doesn't seem to make sense logistically. Don't you use milk? Where would that go?'

No fridge or milk needed. The pod machine is small and all you do it put a pod in and the pod has the milk in, so no mess.

Which of you deals with the DC in the morning?

Ooh, my parents used to have a teasmaid in their bedroom when we were very small. Great idea! I’d personally want it in a cupboard or sideboard or somehow “hidden” in the bedroom but otherwise all for it. If DH truly objects, the alternative plan can be he go and gets you the coffee and brings it to you in bed. Suggest that and see if he prefers the coffee machine in the bedroom option.

Yes I get you. The second you go downstairs you are in danger of being disturbed so you want to stay in the cocoon of your room and have your coffee before the madness begins. I say set yourself up in your room with your machine and enjoy your morning coffee.

I'd object if it was the only machine and I had to keep going in the bedroom for coffee. Provided it's replaced in the kitchen, go for it.

The youngest dc is waking us up every night multiple times atm as poorly. Getting out of bed to get older dc dressed, ready and to school is a challenge. We often don't have time for the coffee, I figured if I had it first I could then feel better for getting dcs sorted. I told dh it would be temporary but he is dead set against it 🤔

A cup of tea in bed in the morning is the only way to start the day. Coffee is obviously not as good as that, but if that’s your preferred drink I can’t see why not, unless it is really “lazy” and you’re planning to spend ages in bed with it while your OH does all the child wrangling. Sounds like it’s more of a knee jerk unsubstantiated reaction than a real opinion. Ask him about the timing of the coffee, what does he think will happen?

'Yes I get you. The second you go downstairs you are in danger of being disturbed so you want to stay in the cocoon of your room and have your coffee before the madness begins. I say set yourself up in your room with your machine and enjoy your morning coffee.'

@Friendofdennis yes exactly my thinking. Dcs get up crack of dawn and by time sort then out no time. We only have the morning coffee so wouldn't need the machine any other time of the day.

That's a brilliant idea. Just get one.

We had a kettle and teabags in the bedroom for a while. Was also useful for filling my hot water bottle. Not sure why it got moved but think I need it back! I’d say go for it. Or just buy yourself a new small machine for the bedroom and set it up on a tray.

Well - coffee in bed fine but I wouldn’t want the machine in my room either.
Surely the one who gets up brings the other a coffee?
(in my dreams….)

Oh you already have the machine. Move it! DH can find something else to complain about.

Is he opposed to going downstairs with the children and bringing you back a cup of coffee?