Dh disapproves of coffee in bed?

[Yesterdaywasntreal]

Please help settle a disagreement. Early mornings with dcs are proving challenging atm, therefore I have suggested bringing our Dulce Gusto pod machine up to the bedroom. This will mean i can enjoy a quick coffee before the chaos starts, rather than during or not at all. Dh thinks it should stay in the kitchen "where it belongs." He says coffee in bed is lazy. AIBU or should I be a rebel?

I have one in the bedroom. Love it, and means you are much less likely to be waking others first thing with doors opening/creaky stairs etc. Go for it.

DH gets up first in our house. He lets the dog out and makes coffee, brings me a cup before I get up -could yours be trained ?

Yes - personally I wouldn’t want my coffee machine in bedroom but if he isn’t going to help you with any alternative I would just do it. He is being selfish not to help out. My partner gets the kids breakfast. Helps sort clothes out. All no asking and before he goes to work.

My DH has made me a cup of tea and brought it up every am since I went on maternity leave 17 years ago. When he's away and I have to go down myself (and then take it back to bed) I feel seriously put out. This is the service you should be going for.

Sounds like you have a bigger "DH" problem, he's opted out of parenting and you aren't a team.

Time to book some couples counselling?

Time to write down who gets what "leisure time" and compare.

Tell him you disapprove of men talking 😈

Honestly he is not your boss. Do it!

Start sending him emails to his work email, you can pre-set them to arrive while he’s faffing on his phone in bed while you’re dealing with the DCs:

Subject: URGENT
Circling back to loop you in to my coffee request as per my last, please feedback soonest.
Best,
Wife

Mine does too , it's the glue that holds our marriage together 🤣

Fuck that! I have to have two coffees in bed before I can do anything.

I don’t see why not. Life is short and hard enough and if something as simple as this would get your day off to a nicer start, I say go for it. It involves zero money, a few minutes of time to set it up in the bedroom and job done. I don’t think it’s lazy and even if it is, laziness is greatly under-rated. The older I get the more I think anything that makes life nicer is probably worth doing unless there’s a very good reason not to do it.

I get my dh to go downstairs and make the coffee!

YANBU, my parents always had a kettle upstairs then took a full tea tray with tea pot, tea cups, milk, sugar etc upstairs every night (although were once woken by a mouse crunching the sugar)!

Is he really doing work emails till he leaves for work? Seems very... convenient (for him) . He seems to want it all his way and for you to do all the child effort/work without having one small temporary concession that would make life easier for you. Either he makes you one at some point during the morning rush or have the machine upstairs.

From one coffee lover to another, go get that coffee machine and set it up! Relax and enjoy your well deserved morning coffee in peace!! So what if it's in the bedroom, who cares.....I bet your DH will be asking for a coffee once he gets used to it.....life's too short, do what you want when you want!!☕☕

'I have one in the bedroom. Love it, and means you are much less likely to be waking others first thing with doors opening/creaky stairs etc. Go for it.'

Exactly @UnfinishedBusiness when I do this dcs are straight down "can I have this, Mum milk etc. Then the coffee goes cold. Dh will somehow have time to shower and come down all refreshed to his coffee I've made!

'YANBU, my parents always had a kettle upstairs then took a full tea tray with tea pot, tea cups, milk, sugar etc upstairs every night (although were once woken by a mouse crunching the sugar)!'

😂ahh now that would have woken me straight up, I wouldn't need the coffee!

I think the main pitch you need for your DH is ‘this is a phase. Having this here for six months will help me through that phase.’

What coffee machine do you have @Yesterdaywasntreal ? I didn’t know you could get the pods with milk in too.

OH brings me a coffee in bed every morning. He knows I can't move without it.🤣

@pelargoniums

*'Start sending him emails to his work email, you can pre-set them to arrive while he’s faffing on his phone in bed while you’re dealing with the DCs:

Subject: URGENT
Circling back to loop you in to my coffee request as per my last, please feedback soonest.
Best,
Wife'*

Now this is a genius! I love it.

My OH gave me a big present once for Valentine's Day. It was a huge parcel which said on it: "Something to increase out pleasure in bed". I was slightly concerned - blow-up doll maybe? 🤔

It was a teasmaid and served us well for many years.

You bring your coffee maker upstairs and enjoy it.

Is it lazy? - probably, but there is nothing wrong with that!

if it's because you are attacked by a swarm of DCs the minute you step out of the room - and you just want a coffee in peace, send them into DH. Every time, send them to DH in the bedroom, and you go into the kitchen, close the door and enjoy your coffee.
Or put it in the room, it's not only up to him.

our pleasure - not out.

He says coffee in bed is lazy.
He's saying that you're lazy, isn't he? Doesn't like the idea of you lying there in comfort drinking a coffee, rather than having to get up - or what exactly is it he doesn't like to imagine?

I'd love a coffee machine by the bed but really don't have the space. If I lived with dp it wouldn't be an issue as he brings me coffee in bed. Obviously yours would also consider that lazy, the cheeky spoilsport.

@Goldd I have a Delonghi Dolce Gusto machine. They are Cafe Au Lait pods so all in one. The pods without the milk included have separate milk pods so you just use two.

Personally I'd hate the idea as I wouldn't want my bedroom to smell of food and drink. Also the idea of eating and drinking in bed makes me feel gross and grubby. I can see why he feels weird about the idea.