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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh disapproves of coffee in bed?

301 replies

Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 11:40

Please help settle a disagreement. Early mornings with dcs are proving challenging atm, therefore I have suggested bringing our Dulce Gusto pod machine up to the bedroom. This will mean i can enjoy a quick coffee before the chaos starts, rather than during or not at all. Dh thinks it should stay in the kitchen "where it belongs." He says coffee in bed is lazy. AIBU or should I be a rebel?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/01/2023 23:34

Our bedroom is adjacent to the kitchen and I'd still be on board with a coffee machine in there. Great idea.

The long and short of it for me is that if he contributes zero to the mornings for the family then he gets zero say on how you best utilise your time/space/appliances to make it easier for yourself.

He could always get his fucking arse up and help of course. That alone would make it easier for you to fit a coffee in at the location he is demanding.

God what a dickhead.

Orders76 · 11/01/2023 23:49

Coffee in the bed or bath, totally acceptable and lovely.

Lilyhop · 11/01/2023 23:55

DH likes to eat toast in bed. And I heavily object to that. Despite using a plate, there always seems to be crumbs… so when I get in bed later in the evening, I’m rolling around in the crumbs like a chicken goujon for the night.
Coffee - fine.

Lilyhop · 11/01/2023 23:58

Lilyhop · 11/01/2023 23:55

DH likes to eat toast in bed. And I heavily object to that. Despite using a plate, there always seems to be crumbs… so when I get in bed later in the evening, I’m rolling around in the crumbs like a chicken goujon for the night.
Coffee - fine.

And to add- if money would allow, I would just have 2 coffee machines. Maybe lazy but if I could I would! However, we just have one coffee machine, and one of us goes down to make it, brings it back upstairs.

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 13/01/2023 17:29

@Lilyhop laughed out loud at your chicken goujon comment! Yes toast in bed is never a good idea.

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Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 13/01/2023 17:35

As an update I've invested in a thermos flask that stays hot 10 hours (i say invested, it was only £12 but good amazon reviews nonetheless). It wasn't as warm as I like it this morning but not cold, and drinkable, felt good while dh sat giving me the side eye (won't admit he wants one too!) I think the temperature may have been my fault though as I only pre warmed it for about 5 minutes instead of 10. I'll try it out again for Monday!

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warmzebra · 13/01/2023 17:53

I think a thermos heated up the night before is a good idea. Hope you enjoyed the caffeine boost this morning!

That said, not trying to shit stir, but I still think it's a bit sad that you have to defer to your husband's preferences when you're doing 100% (not even 70-90%) of the morning with the (ND which makes it harder) kids both of you created together! And making coffee for your DH at that.

In those circumstances, even when I was a SAHM, my husband would have been happy with whatever arrangement works best for taking care of OUR shared kids... Child caring is a different kind of hard from job hard (and believe me I've worked v stressful City jobs). Or if he didn't like the idea he would've chipped in with a compromise, such as taking a few moments to bring up coffee for me.

That said aware I might have missed out wider context in your marriage

RandomMess · 14/01/2023 00:04

Slight aside but you aren't supposed to put milk in your drinks in your thermos!

Moversnotshakers · 14/01/2023 07:14

What about the water needed to fill the machine. You would still need to go downstairs to get the water unless you are going to use bottled water?

Bingbangbongbash · 14/01/2023 07:31

coffee in bed first thing is perfect for setting me up for the day. My husband brings me one every morning, and in fact all the men in my family do it for their wives.

My husband has suggested getting a pod machine for the bedroom and I’m all for it, except for the environmental aspect.

There are some companies that sell recycled / recyclable pods, though, so I’ll probably go for it.

I know you just want the caffeine but surely 12 hour old thermos coffee is grim? I am quite particular about my coffee, though.

As for the water to fill it - all our taps are directly mains fed - we have no water tank, so it’s safe to drink from anywhere.

HaggisBurger · 14/01/2023 07:35

Moversnotshakers · 14/01/2023 07:14

What about the water needed to fill the machine. You would still need to go downstairs to get the water unless you are going to use bottled water?

Only if you have a water tanks. Lots of houses nowadays have mains water running to the bathrooms so it’s the same as your kitchen water.

That said my brain slightly reacts when I fill a glass from my bathroom sink that it will taste of 70s bathroom Tap water 😂

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 14/01/2023 07:36

I have a Pixie coffee machine on my bedside table, bought for me by my sons as a Mothering Sunday present a few years ago. I don’t even need to get out of bed, currently enjoying one now ☕️

CoffeandTiaMaria · 14/01/2023 07:38

I have a Tassimo in the bedroom, it’s a lovely way to start the day 😊

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 14/01/2023 10:00

'Slight aside but you aren't supposed to put milk in your drinks in your thermos!'

It is powdered. I opened up the cafe au lait pod and added boiling water 🤭🤫

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Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 14/01/2023 10:02

@FormerlySpeckledyHen @CoffeandTiaMaria amazing! Life is hard enough isn't it without following what is the 'done thing.'

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atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 10:02

He should go and get you a coffee

RandomMess · 14/01/2023 10:03

@Yesterdaywasntreal that's fab, I didn't want you to ruin your thermos!

astronewt · 14/01/2023 10:05

Is it me, or does this come off like a stealth ad for the coffee machine, and a way to convince other MNers that they too would like this stylish item in the bedroom?

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 14/01/2023 10:07

*'Bingbangbongbash · Today 07:31

coffee in bed first thing is perfect for setting me up for the day. My husband brings me one every morning, and in fact all the men in my family do it for their wives.

My husband has suggested getting a pod machine for the bedroom and I’m all for it, except for the environmental aspect.

There are some companies that sell recycled / recyclable pods, though, so I’ll probably go for it.

I know you just want the caffeine but surely 12 hour old thermos coffee is grim? I am quite particular about my coffee, though.'*

What kind gentleman you have in your family. Yes I could be wrong but i think most of them are recyclable now, from what I was reading the other day anyway.
I get your point, it isn't ideal; if it isn't as hot as I would like on Monday I may reconsider bringing the machine up, fresh is always better but sometimes needs must.

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Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 14/01/2023 10:08

men*

OP posts:
Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 14/01/2023 10:10

@astronewt haha you got me, I secretly work for Tassimo 😂all part of my plan

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FormerlySpeckledyHen · 14/01/2023 10:51

Yesterdaywasntreal · 14/01/2023 10:02

@FormerlySpeckledyHen @CoffeandTiaMaria amazing! Life is hard enough isn't it without following what is the 'done thing.'

Coffee machines are the norm in hotel rooms, so why not at home 🤷🏼‍♀️?
My machine was a surprise from my boys and there idea to have in my room.

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 14/01/2023 10:52

*their not there

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 14/01/2023 14:18

@FormerlySpeckledyHen you have very thoughtful boys, what a lovely and considerate gift.

Also yes hotels have them, so why not bring alittle vacation feel into the home!

OP posts:
Talipesmum · 14/01/2023 23:13

RandomMess · 14/01/2023 00:04

Slight aside but you aren't supposed to put milk in your drinks in your thermos!

True enough but our thermos only exists to take hot chocolate or hot milky coffee on walks, so we have to run the risk! I do wash all the bits and rubber ring parts carefully afterwards. Living on the edge!