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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh disapproves of coffee in bed?

301 replies

Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 11:40

Please help settle a disagreement. Early mornings with dcs are proving challenging atm, therefore I have suggested bringing our Dulce Gusto pod machine up to the bedroom. This will mean i can enjoy a quick coffee before the chaos starts, rather than during or not at all. Dh thinks it should stay in the kitchen "where it belongs." He says coffee in bed is lazy. AIBU or should I be a rebel?

OP posts:
TiarasAndTeddies · 10/01/2023 12:02

I don't understand how anyone doesn't have time for their first drink of the day.
Nothing, not even the kids comes between me and my first drink.
Just give them their first drink while you have yours if they get up.

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 12:02

I like your thinking @MangoBiscuit I am going to tell him this, and see if he changes his mind. One of my dcs is neuro diverse so this makes things extra tricky for getting to school on time.

OP posts:
Skyliner1 · 10/01/2023 12:03

Does he object to the coffee in bed or the coffee machine in the bedroom?

Coffee in bed is lovely, the rare mornings that I have time to take a coffee, sometimes my breakfast too, back up to bed are bliss. I will admit they tend to be very lazy mornings though.

I wouldn't want a coffee machine in my room though.

Morechocmorechoc · 10/01/2023 12:03

My husband brings me one in bed every morning. I'd say that's a much better solution

growinggreyer · 10/01/2023 12:05

It sounds reasonable, just keep safety in mind. Do you have a space where the machine will be high enough away from the children and the lead can't be pulled by them? Do you have a spot where you can put a hot cup safely if a child rushes in saying they are going to vomit etc!

pizzaHeart · 10/01/2023 12:06

I get you too, it’s the only place you can have coffee in peace rather then that you are lazy to go downstairs. A friend used to have tea in the bedroom for the same reason.
However even though I personally would rather go downstairs. I don’t like eating/ drinking in my bedroom, gives me “being unwell feeling” so maybe your DH is in the same camp.

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 12:09

'Is he opposed to going downstairs with the children and bringing you back a cup of coffee?'

Yes, apparently he has too much work to do. I always make his coffee for both of us, and get dcs sorted, ready and breakfast. To be fair he does start work early so will do some from home before heading to office.

OP posts:
MilkyYay · 10/01/2023 12:09

If you can hide the machine away in a cupboard I'd consider it. I often have a cup of coffee in bed.

Is the issue that then later on when you are downstairs and want a coffee, you've got the reverse problem of having to go back up?

The other option is to train husband/DC to deliver the coffee to you in bed.

GraceandMolly · 10/01/2023 12:09

My husband wanted to bring a coffee machine to bedroom, but I said no, because we drink ours with milk and I just don’t want any coffee mess in the bedroom. One of us have to make the big effort of putting on a dressing gown, making one downstairs and then bringing it up to bed.

Hohoholdthesherry · 10/01/2023 12:11

Yup, I agree with @MangoBiscuit - he has two options then, the machine in the bedroom or taking care of anything child-related until you've had your coffee.

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 12:12

'It sounds reasonable, just keep safety in mind. Do you have a space where the machine will be high enough away from the children and the lead can't be pulled by them? Do you have a spot where you can put a hot cup safely if a child rushes in saying they are going to vomit etc!'

Excellent point. The machine would be on a chest of drawers out of the way. The machine itself doesn't get hot, the drink comes out warm but more or less drinking temperate so not hot like a drink would be from the kettle.

OP posts:
HelenHywater · 10/01/2023 12:13

I wouldn't want a coffee machine in my bedroom - surely the solution is for your H to bring you a coffee in bed each morning?

I have a coffee (or two) in my lovely bed every morning before I get up, and I can safely say it's my absolute favourite time of the day. I do get up to get it though and bring it back to bed. When I have had a partner, they always get me one and bring it back to me!

SirVixofVixHall · 10/01/2023 12:14

My mother loved her Teasmade. She could stay in bed for that first cup.
My DH brings me coffee in bed every morning, I hate having to get up without it.

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 10/01/2023 12:15

I had a little tea station in my room at one point. I bought those little milk sachets they have at McDonalds so no need for a fridge. The only issue is I kept forgetting to bring up a cup and teaspoon etc but if your coffee pod machine has it all in one and you don’t need to stir etc then I’d say it’s a great idea. If he objects then he makes you coffee and brings it up. Put the machine up there and in the morning just make yourself one. If he complains tell him he doesn’t like coffee in bed so you’ll make him one and take it downstairs when you’ve finished yours. Dickhead.

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 12:16

@Morechocmorechoc

'My husband brings me one in bed every morning. I'd say that's a much better solution.'

I am going to show him this, fantastic solution!

OP posts:
SmileWithADimple · 10/01/2023 12:19

Do it OP! There's no reason why he should get the deciding vote if it will make a positive difference to your life.

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 12:20

@SirVixofVixHall yes exactly, I think I'd be much more productive if I had it before got up.

OP posts:
HarlanPepper · 10/01/2023 12:21

Coffee in bed? Absolutely. Coffee machine in the bedroom? Bad and wrong.

FleeceDuvet · 10/01/2023 12:21

My phone sends an automatic text to DH when my alarm goes off in the morning…’good morning, I’m ready for my coffee’.

And then when I’ve had my first one I send him a selfie with a sad face and the empty mug…and he brings me another one.

Aim high.

bringmetheheadofpastaalfredo · 10/01/2023 12:22

Chikapu · 10/01/2023 11:46

I wouldn't want a coffee machine and all the other bits and bobs in the bedroom. Go downstairs and make one then take it back up with you.

This is the kind of attitude that MN is riddled with that I've bever understood.

"I don't like this thing therefore YOU should not have/do it".

I mean, I understand I don't like it so I won't do it, but thats as far as I follow.

OP, if it works for you and you would like it, do it.

bringmetheheadofpastaalfredo · 10/01/2023 12:23

HarlanPepper · 10/01/2023 12:21

Coffee in bed? Absolutely. Coffee machine in the bedroom? Bad and wrong.

Here's a similar but different thing. Bad and wrong? No explanation of why, just a pronouncement that this is non U.

So weird.

thirdtimeluckyorwhat · 10/01/2023 12:23

There is no reason why children get In The way of you making a drink that is just ridiculous

Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 12:25

Thank you everyone, I have told him, and he doesn't believe that most people think it his okay. He has said appliances are only for the kitchen, and we aren't in the 70s! 🙄

The consensus seems to be to have my coffee first thing, ☕🎊 I'm showing dh this thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yesterdaywasntreal · 10/01/2023 12:27

Thank you @bringmetheheadofpastaalfredo who made dh the boss!

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/01/2023 12:27

On the one hand you are a grown woman and if you want a coffee machine in your bedroom you can have one.

On the other hand, no way would I want a coffee machine in my bedroom, or pods or cups - those things all belong in the kitchen.

So I guess you should buy one, but understand that your husband is not a freak for disliking it.

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