Dh disapproves of coffee in bed?

[Yesterdaywasntreal]

Please help settle a disagreement. Early mornings with dcs are proving challenging atm, therefore I have suggested bringing our Dulce Gusto pod machine up to the bedroom. This will mean i can enjoy a quick coffee before the chaos starts, rather than during or not at all. Dh thinks it should stay in the kitchen "where it belongs." He says coffee in bed is lazy. AIBU or should I be a rebel?

Upper class ladies had breakfast on a tray in bed every single day, once they were married. Tell him he's lucky you're only looking for a coffee.

I wouldn't want my bedroom to smell of food and drink.
That's a good argument, though. He's not making a good argument - he's saying he doesn't like the idea of OP being comfortable in bed while drinking her coffee.

Do you reeeeally need this negativity in your life?! Just kidding but deffo have the coffee, life is short and busy so if it brings you a little joy then why not!

Coffee in bed is one thing, coffee machine in bedroom is another!

Seems weird to me, but it's your bedroom!

I wouldn’t have the machine beside my bed personally but I drink my coffee in bed every day, pretty much refuse to get up until I’ve had it. Just make it and take it back to bed, I’ve done this for years.

It only sounds like the Teasmade of the 21st century and they were very popular years ago!

@Yesterdaywasntreal thanks! That
machine looks great. Perfect size for the bedroom.

Then I look at time and it is rushing out door, forget my drink. Through the night his phone vibrates with emails etc and he will say he has put it on 'don't disturb.'

no. that doesn't get to be in the bedroom. I'd just chuck it out of the room every time. And put a coffee machine in. And if he insists on having the phone in there, I'd make a coffee every time it woke me up.
Because i am Queen of Petty

Just nip downstairs {assuming you live in a house not a bungalow or flat} and carry a coffee upstairs to bed.''.

If a pod machine can be kept high enough so it can't be knocked over by young children {I was once scalded from steam by a kettle in parent's bedroom that they kept on the floor for tea-making}.

I'd not want one in the bedroom personally, but if it's safe, then it's up to you.

Agree wholeheartedly with your motivation! However, the solution is not to relocate the kitchen coffee maker, but rather fix your bedroom one which seems to be broken. Was it ever fully functional? Does he tiptoe downstairs, make your coffee just as like it, and deliver it to your bedside, all whilst keeping the children quietly corralled elsehwere? No? Time to upgrade the service plan.

Food and drink? Eating and drinking in bed? You do know it’s just a coffee machine right? Or are you worried that this would be a slippery slope and OP would soon sneak her toaster in there too and there would be crumbs all over the place?

Nothing better than the smell of fresh coffee I say! I have young kids too and think this idea is genius! Go for it OP. Tomorrow morning also announce that you are too busy to get the kids ready so DH will have to do it.

I'm on DH side. Sorry.

How about setting up a travel cup the night before (downstairs). Then press the button and take one with you? My cup keeps the coffee hot until lunchtime, when I drink mine.

(That said, I think your OH should really step up in the mornings but also trying to think outside the box a little)

This is a great idea! Can’t see why your DH objects unless this would me the only household coffee machine would be in the bedroom, as long as it’s second one then why not?

Appliances only in the kitchen makes no sense to me!

If I had room for pod coffee machine in my bedroom I would have already done it!

So what if it's lazy? Work smart not hard.

Also since your DH is calling you lazy, i'd be sending the DCs into him while he is "answering work emails on his phone" and not making him coffee, and then when he emerges shoving a child in his arms while i went to another room with a coffee to drink it in peace

All sorts of things to make his life a lot busier.

I love coffee in bed - a real treat on days when I don’t need to set an alarm - but I wouldn’t want a coffee machine in my bedroom. I just nip downstairs and make it then bring it back.

you could have it on your own, and dh can opt not to and have his downstairs - win win!

Do it.

Uninterrupted coffee in bed is a basic human right 😎

I always make his coffee for both of us, and get dcs sorted, ready and breakfast.

But he says you'd be the lazy one for having a coffee before getting out of bed to start the day? Pft.

'How about setting up a travel cup the night before (downstairs). Then press the button and take one with you? My cup keeps the coffee hot until lunchtime, when I drink mine.'

Great idea, I just seem to need the coffee first to give me the energy to deal with the rascals.

OP your husband doesn't sound particularly kind. You have a neurodiverse child and another younger one who is ill and waking throughout the night. He should be working with you to make life as easy as it can be at the moment, not creating arbitary 'rules' !

Given your circumstances he 100% should be pulling his weight in the mornings to help you get everyone ready. Not expecting you to get up, on little sleep, make HIS coffee as well as your own, deal with getting children ready and out the door while he disappears off to 'work'. No way would I put up with that!

I am not a morning person but my dh is, so when dc was small and breastfed, (that meant me up in the night) he'd get up every morning with them and make their breakfast and bring me mine in bed with coffee(s).

This has continued to this day and dc is late teens now. Dh gets up and makes breakfast and I get mine in bed! He hates eating in bed but I love it.

We have a very even distribution of duties so it all evens out over the course of the day but it really works for us.

Your dh needs to look after you more. I suspect you do 99% of the family life stuff...?

Bring up your coffee machine and enjoy that first uninterrupted lovely coffee! Sod him.

exchange the word lazy for efficient, time-saving and sensible

That's not even slightly the point I made, but bless you for trying.

I love my cup of coffee in bed so YANBU for that, but YABU for using one of those insanely wasteful machines.

Unless he's prepared to bring you a coffee up every morning, he's being utterly unreasonable.

A quiet coffee to yourself is pretty much the best start to a day when kids are hanging off you every other second. Teasmades have been around forever, what on earth is wrong with having a coffee machine in the place you actually drink the coffee?

As for making it in the kitchen and returning to bed - as if! Who gets a chance to do that? I swear my foot on the top stair on my way to the kitchen is a signal for the offspring to burst from their rooms like greyhounds from a trap.