To want a girl?

[Namechanged2023]

Another thread like this, I know.

Two boys, 7 and 4. Both hard work in different ways, although lovely of course too. Both daddies boys, none of this mummy’s boy stuff which I would love.

I never ruled out a third, but DH isn’t keen as he is almost 40, I’m 5 years younger. I would really like a daughter. I know there’s no guarantee but I know plenty who’ve followed the old fashioned methods and managed it.

DH dead against it, it just feels a bit unfair that the one who doesn’t want another gets the final say, especially when he’s fine with his 2 boys, and he knew I was younger when we got married!

If you find the children you have challenging, why would you want to add a third child?!
It sounds like you are only wanting to get pregnant to have a girl. There is a high chance you could have a third boy and despite what you say, it really doesn’t sound like you would be happy about this.
I know of several people with boys who have tried for another in the hope it is a girl. The girl up the road has done this for the last 2 children and has recently had boy number 4. Another finally got her girl after 5 boys but that was with another man as her first marriage ended.

Getting pregnant isn’t a lucky dip. You are bringing a new life into the world. Having three children completely changes the dynamics of your family and is a lot of hard work. Only go into it if both you and your husband really want another child of either sex, not just a girl!

It’s normal for childless couples to look at boys jumping on furniture or crawling under tables and think ‘NOt for Me Lolz’

In B4 ‘giRls R2’ it is just something you tend to notice more when out and about, you just don’t see the nice quiet moments at home.

I really hope your boys don't pick up on how you feel about them and boys in general.

It sounds like you struggle with two children so maybe a third isn't a great idea.

Ah OP, I'm sure this will be frowned upon for saying but I'd like a girl one day because I'm bored of blue babygrows. Maybe I'll have a granddaughter or a niece 😍

I think children looking like they're, as opposed to being, "little shits", is the job of children in my opinion. Not in a way of them being rude or naughty, no.
But silly, boisterous, inquisitive and excitable. You're only exploring the world with such uncharted territory the once.
Children should get excited for new experiences, sensory ones included.
Kids should be wild when running around fields or exploring beaches, they should be enjoying mud, water, climbing, pillow fights, making dens, getting fucking playdoh everywhere.
Those experiences make children appear like little shits, but often it's just all so exciting.
Before anyone @s me, once again, rude, naughty, unkind, isn't normal and I'd not have it from my children and 2 are SEN so I understand its a struggle, but "being little shits" isn't reserved for boys, I'm sure girls can be over stimulated and excited too.
Girls will climb or play football or want to do karate as opposed to ballet, those girls will be seen as little shits because they're not sitting quietly. That's just how people will describe kids being kids. It's not meant offensively, surely?! It's just a phrase. I refer to my kids as feral but it's a joke, because they're boisterous at times, and thank fuck for that, who wants kids to not let off steam?

Your boys sound fun OP, all my kids are for their dad also, but he's a plank who will start making frigging volcanos with them 8pm etc, be glad your kids have a wonderful dad!

Sounds like your family is pretty awesome to me x

but I'd like a girl one day because I'm bored of blue babygrows

And this is where you are being close minded. I put my boy in pink and blue. He knows that colours are for everybody not just boys or girls.

(Yes, I am aware that pink is a shade rather than a colour but I think he's a bit young for that nuance)

Ah OP, I'm sure this will be frowned upon for saying but I'd like a girl one day because I'm bored of blue babygrows. Maybe I'll have a granddaughter or a niece 😍

Then buy a different colour!

Yes for god's sake to people not realise colours other than pink and blue exist.

Orange, yellow, green, turquoise, yellow, purple, red.

I mean, it's super handy for me because it means my child is easy to find in the sea of blamanche and blue and sludge, but hey if I can reap the benefits of your stupidity I will.

Sorry, should have been more specific, it's usually gifts.
Opening endless blue babygrows, samey.

But of course, enjoy ripping me to shreds because my sons haven't been given pink babygrows.

Can't imagine why MN has a rep as a cesspit of cunts.

Also, girls clothes are so much more fun, surely that's not a cause for a row and just a fairly common opinion.

And opening endless pink baby grows is also samey.

I would agree that colours and messages vary depending on which sex they are aimed at. Which is why I ignore the boys and girls sections because it means my child gets the best of both worlds, avoids the pathetic #bekind #pretty messages on girls clothes but gets the rabbits and cats. Gets the well made, pockets aspect of the boys section whilst avoiding the 'little man' toxic masculinity crap.
You should self reflect why you don't do this rather than getting defensive. The only downside to it is having to size up from the girls side and accept it's cut and made with inferior quality material so not as long lasting.

I think the one thing that annoyed me most was the "rad like dad" shirts.

I suppose "be kind" would annoy me alot more, so that's perspective.

Surely that's a matter of opinion?
Not everyone is into traditional girly clothes! They're also so impractical for babies and young children.

And nobody is 'ripping you to shreds' they're responding to your comments with their own opinion.

"Reap the benefits of your stupidity"
A cunty comment, I'm not stupid because I didn't put my sons in rainbow tutus and iridescent doc martens.

Well my husband would cringe at being described as rad. So that would be going straight in the bin.

#bekind and pretty like mummy would annoy me less if caring like daddy or beautiful boy were available, but they are invariably 'future scientist' and 'trouble' 'loud'.
So very little slogan clothing for me.

I don't put my son in those things either on a regular basis. Although I do when he asks.

I could have phrased it kinder, but I'm not really down with sugar coating things just because I am a woman.

If it helps my husband would have thought the same but phrased it much kinder to you. 😂

Oh and the fact that you tried to make a boy in a tutu sound so derogatory shows you have massive internalised misogyny. Bravo.

Clothes are clothes. Just chill out about it. But stuff that kids enjoy, lasts well and doesn't stain too bad. It's not rocket science.

Iridescent doc Martin's, whilst they sound amazing, sound expensive. I'll stick with discount Clarks sale. But they have sparkles, diggers, mermaids and dinosaurs so I'm all sorted whatever he chooses lol.

I hate ANY sort of slogan clothing so it doesn't matter what it says. H&M used to do powerful girls stuff like 'strong' and along those lines which is better but I'd still not buy it. It's true that there is a lot more choice for girls clothes though. You just have to look at the different department sizes in stores to see that

Oh and the fact that you tried to make a boy in a tutu sound so derogatory shows you have massive internalised misogyny. Bravo

Right? The worst part is some people are totally ignorant to their own prejudices.

Be grateful for what you have, don't bring a child into the world that is not wanted by the other parent. Be prepared for twin boys, you wouldn't be the first.

Buy them from vinted, you'll save a mint.

My apologies for my internal misogyny, I'll work on it.

To be fair, when I was pregnant and didn't know the gender I was subconsciously far more comfortable with the idea of a girl in blue and dinosaurs than a boy in pink and chicks.
When my son came out I had to address why I was less comfortable and more embarrassed at dressing him in gender neutral clothes than my friends were with girls. It was obvious that I had some internal misogyny to work through.

It's a constant battle because in-laws in particular try and push things on him he hates, and a personality he doesn't have, as they clearly have an idea of what a boy should be like. You'd think after their own son turned out to be kind and gentle, not into sports, they might think it's far more dependent on personality than gender, but I think they secretly think if they push hard enough they can change my son. A shame for him because he is quite scared of some of the clothes they but as it's all dinosaurs and sharks with huge teeth etc.
Thankfully, he has a friend who loves that sort of thing we pass on to. She's grateful so it works out.

This whole thing is so sad. Society is getting itself into such a pickle by putting people into gender stereotypical boxes.

I remember having a conversation with a mother of three boys at a party who was bemoaning the fact that she wanted a girl so she had someone to go shopping with. Both me and the other mother in the conversation where aghast, as there is nothing either of us would rather avoid more than a shopping trip with our respective daughters.

I have 3 boys and th middle one frequently moans boys clothes are boring. He keeps asking why the people that make them think boys only like blue or brown and dinasours or trucks as he doesn't like any of these things. I actually agree with him. Boys clothes are boring and the designers are dated in there ways of thinking. However equally not all girls are into princess clothes or pink so designs are also boring for them too.

Yep boys clothes are shit. Endless blue, grey and khaki. Girls clothes can be a bit cheap looking in garish pinks but generally there’s a lot more choice and colours. Then problem is you can only buy the ‘fun, neutral, pastel coloured’ clothes if you’ve got the cash to spend in Jojo Maman, Frugi etc and most of us don’t. Most people can only afford supermarket or clothes from shops like Next which are pretty gendered.