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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s odd DH’s BF has blocked me?

184 replies

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:25

I’ve been with DH 17 years. He’s been best friends with ‘Sam’ since childhood. He recently moved some hundreds of miles away so we see him less.

I have very little contact with him outside of DH. However I sent him a video in October, a picture which was particularly relevant to a joke we share in November. Prior to that no messages since 2018.

He was down last week and I gave him a lift to the station and we chatted about DS who has ASD - Sam is a teacher and we talked about DS’s art (shockingly bad).

Yesterday I found a pic DS drew and it was sweet but dreadful so I sent it to him with a flippant emoji.

I realised a few hours later his profile pic had disappeared and I only have one tick - all other messages are two blues.

That’s a bit odd isn’t?

I’m obviously not hurt or upset, just a bit perplexed.

YABU - normal
YANBU - odd

OP posts:
yesthisprobablyisaboutyou · 07/01/2023 19:32

Maybe he doesn't like the way you talk about your sons art. How old is your child?

Sux2buthen · 07/01/2023 19:34

Could be a changed number or not currently using WhatsApp

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:34

I’ve asked DH if Sam changed his number and explained why I was asking.

He finds it odd as they were messaging today and Sam asked him to thank me for the lift.

Oh well. Hopefully I’ve not randomly offended him.

OP posts:
Ginandtoner · 07/01/2023 19:35

He clearly doesn’t see you as friend and it maybe sounds a bit random what you’ve messaged him about

id just leave it

Scurryfunge12 · 07/01/2023 19:35

You haven’t necessarily been blocked. He could have deleted WhatsApp or changed phone numbers? Have you asked your DH?

Hoolihan · 07/01/2023 19:36

Might he think you're trying to make a move on him?

Judgyjudgy · 07/01/2023 19:37

Who knows. Maybe he doesn't think you should be messaging each other. Maybe he's just culled a load of people on his phone. Maybe it's nothing. Don't worry about it

Scurryfunge12 · 07/01/2023 19:37

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:34

I’ve asked DH if Sam changed his number and explained why I was asking.

He finds it odd as they were messaging today and Sam asked him to thank me for the lift.

Oh well. Hopefully I’ve not randomly offended him.

Just seen this update. Ignore me. Don’t lose sleep over it 😂

gamerchick · 07/01/2023 19:37

He doesn't want to be your friend and found it a bit weird you messaging him. You're obviously in hiss friends partner territory. He might feel it's a bit disrespectful to his mate. Who knows.

I probably wouldn't be offering any more lifts though. He can sort it out with his pal or something.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:38

yesthisprobablyisaboutyou · 07/01/2023 19:32

Maybe he doesn't like the way you talk about your sons art. How old is your child?

Ffs - people can read bollocks into anything can’t they?

He’s 9. His drawing is significantly behind expected levels - it’s similar to the art from nursery class.

I wasn’t sitting there saying ‘my sons an idiot who can’t draw’. I said he drew a beautiful card for Father’s Day and people thought our 4yo had drawn it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:39

Hoolihan · 07/01/2023 19:36

Might he think you're trying to make a move on him?

Actual lolz 😂

Honestly - not a chance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:40

gamerchick · 07/01/2023 19:37

He doesn't want to be your friend and found it a bit weird you messaging him. You're obviously in hiss friends partner territory. He might feel it's a bit disrespectful to his mate. Who knows.

I probably wouldn't be offering any more lifts though. He can sort it out with his pal or something.

Quite - interestingly I didn’t offer exactly - a group were here and another asked for a lift which I was happy to give and he asked to jump in as it was the same direction.

OP posts:
Abigail69 · 07/01/2023 19:40

Judgyjudgy · 07/01/2023 19:37

Who knows. Maybe he doesn't think you should be messaging each other. Maybe he's just culled a load of people on his phone. Maybe it's nothing. Don't worry about it

Exactly that. OP he is your DH best buddy, not yours. He is a bloke you are a woman and IMO he feels that too much to and froing texting etc could be misunderstood.

Let it go and even if he removes block, dont text him again as there is no need for you to do that

yesthisprobablyisaboutyou · 07/01/2023 19:40

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:41

@Scurryfunge12

no I won’t - just thought it strange - I’ve never been blocked before!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 07/01/2023 19:42

Blocking is the ultimate fuck you though. I'd be doing nowt for him in future.

NothingHoldingMeBack · 07/01/2023 19:42

Op. Maybe he just doesn't want to be your friend. Perfectly OK.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:44

gamerchick · 07/01/2023 19:42

Blocking is the ultimate fuck you though. I'd be doing nowt for him in future.

Oh quite. Bus stop next time 👍🏽

OP posts:
growgrowinggrown · 07/01/2023 19:51

Is he in a relationship? Perhaps doesn't want to get earache for receiving a text from another woman?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:58

growgrowinggrown · 07/01/2023 19:51

Is he in a relationship? Perhaps doesn't want to get earache for receiving a text from another woman?

I actually don’t know - he’s very private and likely wouldn’t tell us until it was quite serious - last girlfriend was a while ago.

Obviously you don’t give a life history on a post but this is a man I know well but I’m not close to if that makes sense? We have always got on well. We have exchanged messages in the past (apparently over 4 years ago though!) but it’s (obviously) not regular - more like ‘oh you’d like this’ ‘thanks’ and pics of his baby niece - no back and forth.

I suppose I’m trying to say a) there’s zero way he thinks I’m coming on to him b) it’s not like he’s someone I’ve text out of the blue so he’d be scared.

But he may well have a girlfriend and not want hassle in which case makes total sense.

OP posts:
pinkpotatoez · 07/01/2023 20:03

He seems like he's being extra careful as to not raise DHs suspicions, way over the top but he probably didn't want his best friend to see his name pop up on his wife's phone.

BigFatLiar · 07/01/2023 20:05

Does he have a wife/partner?
If he does, maybe she objects.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:06

Yes maybe @pinkpotatoez

DH is now singing ‘Merry and Sam, sitting in a tree…’

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:07

@BigFatLiar single as far as I know but could certainly be in a new relationship.

OP posts:
ItWasDobbinAtTheMareAndSpare · 07/01/2023 20:08

Are you Facebook friends? Are you blocked on there? Could your DH just ask him?

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