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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s odd DH’s BF has blocked me?

184 replies

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:25

I’ve been with DH 17 years. He’s been best friends with ‘Sam’ since childhood. He recently moved some hundreds of miles away so we see him less.

I have very little contact with him outside of DH. However I sent him a video in October, a picture which was particularly relevant to a joke we share in November. Prior to that no messages since 2018.

He was down last week and I gave him a lift to the station and we chatted about DS who has ASD - Sam is a teacher and we talked about DS’s art (shockingly bad).

Yesterday I found a pic DS drew and it was sweet but dreadful so I sent it to him with a flippant emoji.

I realised a few hours later his profile pic had disappeared and I only have one tick - all other messages are two blues.

That’s a bit odd isn’t?

I’m obviously not hurt or upset, just a bit perplexed.

YABU - normal
YANBU - odd

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:06

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123

thank you - that’s very helpful and you’ve illustrated our general situation well I think. After 17 years of fairly frequent meetings it’s a bit odd.

I think the 2022 messages may have come after a phone change and as they have zero context he thinks it’s a wrong number.

OP posts:
CJDB · 07/01/2023 21:10

Could it be that it's just out of signal? I thought 1 tick meant out of signal or phones switched off? Maybe the phones not received your message?

ShakespearesBlister · 07/01/2023 21:10

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:06

Yes maybe @pinkpotatoez

DH is now singing ‘Merry and Sam, sitting in a tree…’

Clearly not k.i.s.s.i.n.g 🤣🤣

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:13

@CJDB I would’ve agreed but DH and he have been messaging a fair bit today.

@ShakespearesBlister 🤣🤣

OP posts:
CJDB · 07/01/2023 21:14

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:13

@CJDB I would’ve agreed but DH and he have been messaging a fair bit today.

@ShakespearesBlister 🤣🤣

Ohhhhh I see, can't be that then. It would bug me! I'd want to know what I'd done! But that's just my anxious mind Hmmin overdrive

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 07/01/2023 21:16

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:06

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123

thank you - that’s very helpful and you’ve illustrated our general situation well I think. After 17 years of fairly frequent meetings it’s a bit odd.

I think the 2022 messages may have come after a phone change and as they have zero context he thinks it’s a wrong number.

I just can’t believe some of the things I read on this forum sometimes. Posters jump to ‘obvious’, yet ridiculously unlikely (to me at least) conclusions all the time.

I’m surprised someone hasn’t suggested he’s desperately in love with you and just can’t stand to get a reminder of your existence and marriage to his best friend via WhatsApp so he’s blocked you for that reason!

Much more likely to be something easily explained and not offensive at all.

RandomCatGenerator · 07/01/2023 21:20

Why wouldn’t you just get your husband to ask, especially if they’ve been messaging today? It’s weird not to.

fajitaaaa · 07/01/2023 21:20

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:38

Ffs - people can read bollocks into anything can’t they?

He’s 9. His drawing is significantly behind expected levels - it’s similar to the art from nursery class.

I wasn’t sitting there saying ‘my sons an idiot who can’t draw’. I said he drew a beautiful card for Father’s Day and people thought our 4yo had drawn it.

Show quote history

What was the flippant emoji?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:24

@fajitaaaa

The slightly pained ‘grin’ 😬

OP posts:
Blueblell · 07/01/2023 21:25

My mum recently blocked me accidentally! It does happen

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:25

@RandomCatGenerator

not sure - feels a bit OTT (even though I have a 3 page thread on it).

I suspect he might anyway.

OP posts:
Atethehalloweenchocs · 07/01/2023 21:29

Could it be a mistake in some way? My step dad could not understand why he could not get calls from his brother on Whats App and it turned out he had accidently blocked him!

Also, read the thread title as your husbands boyfriend had blocked you.

ItWasDobbinAtTheMareAndSpare · 07/01/2023 21:30

Is it obviously you in your WhatsApp pic? If your DH doesn’t want to ask directly he could just say ‘oh DW was trying to send you a pic of (whatever) and thinks might be accidentally blocked.’ It would be good to know? Seeing as you occasionally have to see each other?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:30

@Atethehalloweenchocs

Now that would be a different thread for sure!

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:33

@ItWasDobbinAtTheMareAndSpare

yes, it’s just me in the pic so he’d have realised so I’m back to ‘he deffo hates me’

That’s a good idea - I’ll get DH to do that.

OP posts:
thewinterwitch · 07/01/2023 21:34

Seriously?

Yesterday I found a pic DS drew and it was sweet but dreadful so I sent it to him with a flippant emoji.

The slightly pained grin 😬

I wasn’t sitting there saying ‘my sons an idiot who can’t draw’. I said he drew a beautiful card for Father’s Day and people thought our 4yo had drawn it.

All of that does say, "my son's an idiot who can't draw."

ItWasDobbinAtTheMareAndSpare · 07/01/2023 21:35

thewinterwitch · 07/01/2023 21:34

Seriously?

Yesterday I found a pic DS drew and it was sweet but dreadful so I sent it to him with a flippant emoji.

The slightly pained grin 😬

I wasn’t sitting there saying ‘my sons an idiot who can’t draw’. I said he drew a beautiful card for Father’s Day and people thought our 4yo had drawn it.

All of that does say, "my son's an idiot who can't draw."

Oh give over, we’re not supposed to think our kids are Rembrandt, kid’s pictures are funny.

ForestLilac · 07/01/2023 21:37

Are you sure he’s blocked you? I think it sounds more like he’s simply deleted your number?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:37

The picture is precious and lovely and treasured. It’s also not what you’d expect from a 9yo and quite funny.

Im perfectly secure in the knowledge that my son is loved and not mocked.

if it helps some posters to think I’m some abusive witch to my son then fine - I can’t be arsed.

OP posts:
MistyLuna · 07/01/2023 21:38

If it’s WhatsApp then one tick & no pic doesn’t necessarily mean he’s blocked you. If he’s changed phones it’ll appear that way too. Maybe ask your DH if ‘Sam’s’ WhatsApp appears the same on his phone?

sjxoxo · 07/01/2023 21:40

Hoolihan · 07/01/2023 19:36

Might he think you're trying to make a move on him?

I also wondered this!! I could see these types of messages being sent by someone who was looking for contact/conversation.. he might think you’re hitting on him. I did wonder why you sent them tbh - does seem a bit random. Also possible he’s deleted WhatsApp Xx

Mariposa26 · 07/01/2023 21:40

If you only have one tick on the picture of your son’s drawing, he has blocked you before seeing that as far as I know… so it doesn’t seem like he has done anything as a result of being offended by that drawing as pps have suggested.

thewinterwitch · 07/01/2023 21:42

I didn't say you were an abusive witch., I said you were drawing attention to how bad your older child's drawing is, and saying that people thought your four-year-old drew it, combined with a grimace emoji is mockery.

You asked re a possible blocking. If it's not an accident/misunderstanding and you have been blocked, being uncomfortable receiving that and being made to be "in on the joke" may have made him feel unpleasant.

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 07/01/2023 21:44

thewinterwitch · 07/01/2023 21:42

I didn't say you were an abusive witch., I said you were drawing attention to how bad your older child's drawing is, and saying that people thought your four-year-old drew it, combined with a grimace emoji is mockery.

You asked re a possible blocking. If it's not an accident/misunderstanding and you have been blocked, being uncomfortable receiving that and being made to be "in on the joke" may have made him feel unpleasant.

You’re getting a bit carried away.

AnnieDav · 07/01/2023 21:44

This thread has opened my eyes to the idea that what’s app messages from the opposite sex (even your best mate’s spouse!) could in some way be viewed as inappropriate despite perfectly innocent content.

DH’s best mate and I communicate by text pretty regularly. I hope he doesn’t think I fancy him 😂

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