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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s odd DH’s BF has blocked me?

184 replies

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:25

I’ve been with DH 17 years. He’s been best friends with ‘Sam’ since childhood. He recently moved some hundreds of miles away so we see him less.

I have very little contact with him outside of DH. However I sent him a video in October, a picture which was particularly relevant to a joke we share in November. Prior to that no messages since 2018.

He was down last week and I gave him a lift to the station and we chatted about DS who has ASD - Sam is a teacher and we talked about DS’s art (shockingly bad).

Yesterday I found a pic DS drew and it was sweet but dreadful so I sent it to him with a flippant emoji.

I realised a few hours later his profile pic had disappeared and I only have one tick - all other messages are two blues.

That’s a bit odd isn’t?

I’m obviously not hurt or upset, just a bit perplexed.

YABU - normal
YANBU - odd

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:45

@Mariposa26 I ignored the suggestions the pic offended him because it was definitely not that if something DID but thank you for pointing that out.

@sjxoxo ok. So he definitely doesn’t think I fancy him. The messages were very specific - Krishnan Guru Murthy calling Steve Baker a cunt (after being here the prior week and also calling him a cunt) and a pic of a Starbucks cup with a misspelling of his name which is what my DH and I call him as a joke.

Sent because they were very specific. I didn’t try to enter into conversation or anything or follow up - to think that was an overture is a massive stretch.

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:46

@thewinterwitch

he didn’t receive the picture you twit!

OP posts:
Bringonsummer19 · 07/01/2023 21:46

Agree it’s odd.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:47

Thank you @AnnieDav

OP posts:
WimbyAce · 07/01/2023 21:47

Just get DH to ask him. I reckon it's a mistake.

girlfriend44 · 07/01/2023 21:47

Stop speculating and expecting other people to know.

Either ask or forget it.

Too much is made of WhatsApp etc.
Just talk to people.

Mariposa26 · 07/01/2023 21:48

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:45

@Mariposa26 I ignored the suggestions the pic offended him because it was definitely not that if something DID but thank you for pointing that out.

@sjxoxo ok. So he definitely doesn’t think I fancy him. The messages were very specific - Krishnan Guru Murthy calling Steve Baker a cunt (after being here the prior week and also calling him a cunt) and a pic of a Starbucks cup with a misspelling of his name which is what my DH and I call him as a joke.

Sent because they were very specific. I didn’t try to enter into conversation or anything or follow up - to think that was an overture is a massive stretch.

ah ok - I just wasn’t sure if people were getting that! (Not that I thought he’d be offended by that either!)

Notjustabrunette · 07/01/2023 21:51

Do you think he might have done it by accident?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:51

@girlfriend44

actually my AIBU was ‘is it odd to be blocked’ and not ask why.

I’ve answered questions but not asked why.

OP posts:
thewinterwitch · 07/01/2023 21:52

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:46

@thewinterwitch

he didn’t receive the picture you twit!

Charming.

spirit20 · 07/01/2023 21:53

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:19

I’ve just looked and the two messages I sent this year has absolutely zero context and I didn’t say ‘from Merry’ or anything.

Its entirely possible he’s thought it’s a wrong number.

I’m clearly an idiot.

I think this is your answer, he had no idea who they were from, so blocked it.

Even if he did think your messages were weird or if he had zero interest in talking to you, I doubt he'd have actually blocked you if you're his best friend's wife, as that would be quite a hostile step to someone who is obviously going to be in his life.

Blendandmix · 07/01/2023 21:59

My daughter (1) had blocked my husband, I didn't realise for days as we were texting and calling on messenger. It's so easily done by accident!

sjxoxo · 07/01/2023 22:01

..I’ve missed anything about him not receiving the pics but still with the details of what you sent him I still think there’s a chance he’ll think you fancy him.. same for the poster who said they message their DH’s best mate all the time! I’m not implying anything more sinister - but it will deffo have crossed their minds that maybe you fancy them! 100%

LikeTearsInRain · 07/01/2023 22:03

Could he really fancy you OP but know you’re out of bounds and so would rather no contact?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 22:05

@LikeTearsInRain

I would be seriously shocked if he did. Not even the vaguest hint in 17 years. Obviously not impossible but I’m about the complete opposite of the stuff of dreams.

I’d put serious money on him not.

OP posts:
fajitaaaa · 07/01/2023 22:06

thewinterwitch · 07/01/2023 21:34

Seriously?

Yesterday I found a pic DS drew and it was sweet but dreadful so I sent it to him with a flippant emoji.

The slightly pained grin 😬

I wasn’t sitting there saying ‘my sons an idiot who can’t draw’. I said he drew a beautiful card for Father’s Day and people thought our 4yo had drawn it.

All of that does say, "my son's an idiot who can't draw."

Yes I agree

ILoveYouMoreTheEnd · 07/01/2023 22:11

@Merryoldgoat can you get DH to ask now as I want to go to sleep but too invested in your thread 🤣🤣🤣

Schlafen · 07/01/2023 22:16

I think the most likely explanation is that he feels it's inappropriate for you to message him. I'd ask your dh to ask him if you've offended him by sending those messages or something like that. That will show him that your dh is fully in the loop and you are not messaging him.behind dh's back or hitting on him.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 22:19

@ILoveYouMoreTheEnd 🤣

OP posts:
ghjklo · 07/01/2023 22:30

Ask yr dh to ask him, simple!

theshadeofgreen · 07/01/2023 22:33

Another one who needs to sleep but is too invested OP.... if your DH could text in maybe the next, 5mins?, I'd appreciate it GrinGrin

Flowersinspringgrowwild · 07/01/2023 22:33

OP your DH needs to message him right now so we can all sleep

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 22:36

DH is now blocked too…

Not really 🤣

DH has promised to do it tomorrow.

OP posts:
Babycakes6 · 07/01/2023 22:40

You can change WhatsApp setting so it doesn’t show if someone received it/ read it. I did. So if previous messages showed two ticks, it’s because he changed the setting recently

Procrastinatingfrommess · 07/01/2023 22:41

Maybe he’s just turned the read message tick off? I’ve done it on my WhatsApp so people don’t know when I’m online and can’t see when I’ve read their message. Maybe he’s changed his settings?

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