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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s odd DH’s BF has blocked me?

184 replies

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:25

I’ve been with DH 17 years. He’s been best friends with ‘Sam’ since childhood. He recently moved some hundreds of miles away so we see him less.

I have very little contact with him outside of DH. However I sent him a video in October, a picture which was particularly relevant to a joke we share in November. Prior to that no messages since 2018.

He was down last week and I gave him a lift to the station and we chatted about DS who has ASD - Sam is a teacher and we talked about DS’s art (shockingly bad).

Yesterday I found a pic DS drew and it was sweet but dreadful so I sent it to him with a flippant emoji.

I realised a few hours later his profile pic had disappeared and I only have one tick - all other messages are two blues.

That’s a bit odd isn’t?

I’m obviously not hurt or upset, just a bit perplexed.

YABU - normal
YANBU - odd

OP posts:
Tandora · 07/01/2023 20:09

What was the video and the photo you sent him? If it was just content and no explanation and you hadn’t text for 4 years, maybe he thought it was spam?

SemperIdem · 07/01/2023 20:09

I’d definitely ask your husband to ask him.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:10

@ItWasDobbinAtTheMareAndSpare

No, not FB friends - I don’t think he’s on it but I’ve never thought to check.

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:14

@Tandora

The video was about a week after we saw him in October - he’d told us how much he hated a particular politician and there was something funny about him on the news - I suppose he may have. It was extremely non controversial!

@SemperIdem

I think I’ll leave it - DH said he would but tbh, if he’s decided he doesn’t like me then provided he’s not horrible to me that’s ok, I don’t need to be his friend.

OP posts:
CavalierApproach · 07/01/2023 20:16

Tandora · 07/01/2023 20:09

What was the video and the photo you sent him? If it was just content and no explanation and you hadn’t text for 4 years, maybe he thought it was spam?

This was what I wondered. A long shot maybe, but in some ways it seems more plausible that it was momentary confusion about who was messaging him — rather than him having such a problem with the messages you describe that he’d actually block you for them.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:17

If you change phones, does your WhatsApp history go?

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:19

I’ve just looked and the two messages I sent this year has absolutely zero context and I didn’t say ‘from Merry’ or anything.

Its entirely possible he’s thought it’s a wrong number.

I’m clearly an idiot.

OP posts:
Flowersinspringgrowwild · 07/01/2023 20:27

I don’t think you’ve been blocked op. Think you’re reading too much into it (I do this!)

LotteryWinPlease · 07/01/2023 20:30

This would bug the living shit out of me

ittakes2 · 07/01/2023 20:31

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:38

Ffs - people can read bollocks into anything can’t they?

He’s 9. His drawing is significantly behind expected levels - it’s similar to the art from nursery class.

I wasn’t sitting there saying ‘my sons an idiot who can’t draw’. I said he drew a beautiful card for Father’s Day and people thought our 4yo had drawn it.

Show quote history

Sorry I do agree with other poster - he's a teacher he really can't be seen to be talking bad about a child trying to do something. I also think its a bit weird you would be doing this. Look how bad my child is at this....> WTF? Just why?

FromTheFront2theBack · 07/01/2023 20:36

People on aibu will find a way to make you at fault but yes it's weird. You barely sent him any messages, they were innocuous (not political or provocative) so even if he wasn't particularly interested he could have just ignored. Since he's presumably going to see you again via your DH it's also awkward. What if you wanted to arrange a surprise party for DH or arrange a pickup on his next visit?

Perhaps he clicked in it by accident? Otherwise yes vet very odd.

FromTheFront2theBack · 07/01/2023 20:38

ittakes2 · 07/01/2023 20:31

Sorry I do agree with other poster - he's a teacher he really can't be seen to be talking bad about a child trying to do something. I also think its a bit weird you would be doing this. Look how bad my child is at this....> WTF? Just why?

Show quote history

Absolute bollocks. I have a few primary school teacher friends and they'll laugh at stuff like this about our kids (I've never heard anything about kiss they teach obviously).

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:42

I work at a school - I can assure you teachers laugh at plenty.

I’ve deffo read too much into it. I’m obviously just stupid.

OP posts:
SemperIdem · 07/01/2023 20:42

@Merryoldgoat

That’s fair enough. I’m terrible for needing to know the why’s and have got my feelings hurt more than once because of it. Your approach is sensible.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:42

LotteryWinPlease · 07/01/2023 20:30

This would bug the living shit out of me

🤣🤣

OP posts:
Mookie81 · 07/01/2023 20:43

He's a teacher, you've been talking his ear off about your kids learning, then send a pic related to that conversation.
He probably thinks you'll keep bugging him about your son's work and he gets enough of that at school! 😂

ItWasDobbinAtTheMareAndSpare · 07/01/2023 20:49

Has he ever replied?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:55

Mookie81 · 07/01/2023 20:43

He's a teacher, you've been talking his ear off about your kids learning, then send a pic related to that conversation.
He probably thinks you'll keep bugging him about your son's work and he gets enough of that at school! 😂

Totally valid 🤣

OP posts:
WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 07/01/2023 20:56

Oh nonsense to all this about him ‘obviously being uncomfortable’ or the OP ‘obviously mocking her son’. None of this is obvious because none of you know what’s really gone on.

I’d be a lot more inclined to think there’s an issue somewhere with the phones OP; 1 tick means it’s gone to the server, 2 ticks means it’s delivered to the phone and 2 blue ticks means it’s been read. Who knows why your messages aren’t being delivered to his phone (taking into account the photo thing), I doubt he’s blocked you. It seems a strong message to send to someone you’ve known in some capacity for at least 17 years and is married to your best pal, presumably someone you don’t want to offend the wife of!

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 20:57

@ItWasDobbinAtTheMareAndSpare

All of the pre 2022 stuff was replied to - not all exchanges were initiated by me. They are exceptionally dull exchanges.

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 07/01/2023 20:58

Is there a chance he thought you were about to head down the route of asking his professional opinion, and he didn't want to get involved?

Either way, my DH would definitely have messaged him and asked why he blocked me.

We're both nosey like that 😂

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 07/01/2023 21:00

ittakes2 · 07/01/2023 20:31

Sorry I do agree with other poster - he's a teacher he really can't be seen to be talking bad about a child trying to do something. I also think its a bit weird you would be doing this. Look how bad my child is at this....> WTF? Just why?

Show quote history

Teachers talk about the kids all the time 😆

Hiddenvoice · 07/01/2023 21:00

He may have deleted your number. A friend of mine had an accident with his phone, got a new one and all numbers were deleted. He had a setting on WhatsApp that numbers he didn’t have saved would not always go through to him so they would be sitting in his archive folder for him to accept. All I could see my side was a blank profile picture and one tick.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:01

@DuplicateUserName

no, we have two autistic children, both have EHCPs and good provision and I work at a school with SEN teachers I can talk to and if anything he asks about them. He had a nice but brief chat with my son whilst here over lunch.

DH wants to 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 21:02

@Hiddenvoice

that’s exactly what I see.

OP posts:
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