Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s odd DH’s BF has blocked me?

184 replies

Merryoldgoat · 07/01/2023 19:25

I’ve been with DH 17 years. He’s been best friends with ‘Sam’ since childhood. He recently moved some hundreds of miles away so we see him less.

I have very little contact with him outside of DH. However I sent him a video in October, a picture which was particularly relevant to a joke we share in November. Prior to that no messages since 2018.

He was down last week and I gave him a lift to the station and we chatted about DS who has ASD - Sam is a teacher and we talked about DS’s art (shockingly bad).

Yesterday I found a pic DS drew and it was sweet but dreadful so I sent it to him with a flippant emoji.

I realised a few hours later his profile pic had disappeared and I only have one tick - all other messages are two blues.

That’s a bit odd isn’t?

I’m obviously not hurt or upset, just a bit perplexed.

YABU - normal
YANBU - odd

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 07/01/2023 23:56

PicnicBunny · 07/01/2023 22:57

I’ve blocked DH’s friends and even friends of friends, and colleagues tbh in the past because they messaged. Just sometimes people have a circle and can be more closed off than open. I don’t like to always be so open for new friendships even. Messages are intimate. I don’t like it all the time. And if someone texts me at the wrong time that’s it! Lol Don’t mind bumping into people and having a quick chat. It’s my personal time and not everyone should be allowed to disturb me.

that’s just my opinion though. I’m a serial blocker

I'm genuinely shocked at this. I find blocking to an extremely aggressive act.

Woopzies · 08/01/2023 00:02

Gwenhwyfar · 07/01/2023 23:56

I'm genuinely shocked at this. I find blocking to an extremely aggressive act.

Show quote history

You just know that this DH's friends are all discussing amongst themselves how weird his wife is. 😂

SOSreflux · 08/01/2023 00:04

I’m pretty sure that you can have a WhatsApp setting so that only contacts you have saved in your phone can message you. He may not have your number saved and has recently changed his WhatsApp settings.

BadNomad · 08/01/2023 00:09

It doesn't make sense that he would block you. So if either of you got a new phone since the last message, one or both of you might need to re-sync your contacts. Maybe he thinks you have him blocked and that's why he told DH to thank you for the lift. 😬Just get DH to ask.

Gwenhwyfar · 08/01/2023 00:10

"You just know that this DH's friends are all discussing amongst themselves how weird his wife is. 😂"

Why was this a reply to me?

PicnicBunny · 08/01/2023 00:13

Woopzies · 08/01/2023 00:02

You just know that this DH's friends are all discussing amongst themselves how weird his wife is. 😂

Show quote history

Hahaha yep ! How dare they message me! They can pass a message on through DH, their ‘friend’. Not directly message me! LOL 😂

PicnicBunny · 08/01/2023 00:16

Think you’ll find people block for absolutely almost no reason sometimes. (Or one that would make sense when said out loud anyway) And if you DID find out it was for other reasons… do you really want to know OP? Just let it go I say

Quweenie · 08/01/2023 00:20

PicnicBunny · 07/01/2023 22:57

I’ve blocked DH’s friends and even friends of friends, and colleagues tbh in the past because they messaged. Just sometimes people have a circle and can be more closed off than open. I don’t like to always be so open for new friendships even. Messages are intimate. I don’t like it all the time. And if someone texts me at the wrong time that’s it! Lol Don’t mind bumping into people and having a quick chat. It’s my personal time and not everyone should be allowed to disturb me.

that’s just my opinion though. I’m a serial blocker

Wow really? Do any of them ever say anything about it?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 08/01/2023 00:29

@PicnicBunny

a good point.

OP posts:
DirectionToPerfection · 08/01/2023 00:42

PicnicBunny · 07/01/2023 22:57

I’ve blocked DH’s friends and even friends of friends, and colleagues tbh in the past because they messaged. Just sometimes people have a circle and can be more closed off than open. I don’t like to always be so open for new friendships even. Messages are intimate. I don’t like it all the time. And if someone texts me at the wrong time that’s it! Lol Don’t mind bumping into people and having a quick chat. It’s my personal time and not everyone should be allowed to disturb me.

that’s just my opinion though. I’m a serial blocker

I find this very weird and OTT.

I guess it will have the desired affect, though you could have people scratching their heads wondering what on earth they've done to offend you.

Lovec · 08/01/2023 00:51

I get the feeling you are upset about it as why would you go to all the effort to post about it on here? If it was me I would just think 'meh' and not think about it any longer. The fact you are mulling over it makes me wonder whether you kind of liked him...

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 08/01/2023 01:13

Gwenhwyfar · 07/01/2023 23:56

I'm genuinely shocked at this. I find blocking to an extremely aggressive act.

Show quote history

I 'z' people so they go to the bottom of my list Grin I only don't delete them as I have had the situation where someone will get in contact years lasted and I don't know who they are. I hate having people clog up my contacts list. Blocking does seem quite extreme though, but does sound like OP was randomly texting and maybe he just can't be bothered with that. I doubt it was anything malicious or hateful

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 08/01/2023 01:22

@Lovec

er… no. 🤣 I’m a bit… miffed… maybe?

I honestly don’t fancy him though - he’s pleasantly sex-less.

You know how you sometimes have a kind of flirty vibe with non-close male friends? We absolutely do not have that. More like brother/sister energy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 08/01/2023 01:24

@Lovec and is it a lot of effort? I posted the initial post on the loo, and my various answers during a long bath whilst listening to a podcast - hardly an onerous task 🤷🏾‍♀️

OP posts:
Lovec · 08/01/2023 01:40

Merryoldgoat · 08/01/2023 01:24

@Lovec and is it a lot of effort? I posted the initial post on the loo, and my various answers during a long bath whilst listening to a podcast - hardly an onerous task 🤷🏾‍♀️

What I mean is? Why bother posting about it at all... why do you care enough to?

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 08/01/2023 01:51

Because I thought it was odd. Does everything on here have to be some deep searching question?

There are loads of trivial posts on here - there’s no requirement that it has to be a Big Issue.

OP posts:
MiddleOfTheNightAgain · 08/01/2023 01:55

It is odd, of him, because blocking is an intense thing to do really and your relationship was - well, a non relationship, and one not equal to that sort of drama. It’s understandable you’re feeling totally nonplussed.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 08/01/2023 02:00

@MiddleOfTheNightAgain

thank you for articulating it so well. It’s an oddly ‘big’ action for such a casual relationship and infrequent contact.

OP posts:
MiddleOfTheNightAgain · 08/01/2023 02:19

Yes it would make anyone curious! Why is this person behaving like I’ve wronged them?!

Lovec · 08/01/2023 07:10

Merryoldgoat · 08/01/2023 01:51

Because I thought it was odd. Does everything on here have to be some deep searching question?

There are loads of trivial posts on here - there’s no requirement that it has to be a Big Issue.

Exactly... does everything have to have some deep searching question? You're questioning being blocked by someone you apparently dont care about. So I'm questioning why you care.
I blocked some bloke just today because he kept messaging and I thought why is he suddenly messaging me when he never bothered before? He had been on my friends a while and spoke a bit when he added me. Mainly about my sister and her argument with him.
Are you worried you are being labelled weird by his friends now?
Are you worried he will tell others you were coming onto him (yes I know you weren't but if this is why he blocked you)?
I'm just intrigued what is worrying you or puzzling you about the issue? Then people can answer whether they agree etc.

Sux2buthen · 08/01/2023 08:17

Actually if my partner had been nice to my friend and my friend went home and immediately blocked them, I'd be pretty pissed off.
All jokes aside, if he's done that then he's been a twat and I hope your husband finds out what's actually happened.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 08/01/2023 10:19

@Lovec

Actually I didn’t say I didn’t ‘care’ about him. He’s not DH’s friend of over 30 years, I’ve known him and been friendly for 17.

When someone blocks you for no reason and you’ve previously had friendly but casual interactions it’s odd.

I think you need to improve your comprehension skills. I think it’s odd as per my OP. All of my other posts including this one have answered the questions posters have asked including this one.

I’ve not said I’m upset, angry, etc. the only think I’m a bit concerned about was whether I offended him in some way but since going over the interactions I’m perfectly happy that’s not the case.

There was a post in here the other day about whether a sales assistant in a shop was being weird. Did that OP secretly love them ans they bothered to post? Uncountable threads about minor interactions at school gates etc.

If you can honestly see more here then that’s all you.

OP posts:
PicnicBunny · 08/01/2023 11:11

Gwenhwyfar · 07/01/2023 23:56

I'm genuinely shocked at this. I find blocking to an extremely aggressive act.

Show quote history

I find people’s lack of boundaries really intrusive and inconsiderate.

(I’m not just replying for sake of reactions here, I am just expressing why I block and why others might block)

Gwenhwyfar · 08/01/2023 11:16

"I doubt it was anything malicious or hateful"

Without good reason, it's very nasty.

Gwenhwyfar · 08/01/2023 11:18

"I'm just intrigued what is worrying you or puzzling you about the issue?"

It's totally normal to be confused about why a friend of acquaintance would block you. It's very strange behaviour for people who meet up occasionally.