Friend is having an affair both are married.

[Themind]

My friend has been married to her husband for 10 years two girls age 8 and 5. As far as I am aware no particular issues with their marriage we have been friends for about 6 years and re quite close. Husband seems like a nice guy but I don't know him as well. I was aware about two years ago she'd had a fling but it had allegedly ended before she'd told me. My husband and I went to the theatre yesterday and ther she was with the man she'd had the fling with earlier. She realised I'd seen her and looked shocked but sat down so I didn't approach. Queue a phone call this morning and several others throughout the day begging me noto to say anything to her husband. She confessed that she had never ended it with him first time round and had carried on cheating. He has lots of money wife doesn't understand him all the usual tripe and he won't leave because his wife will be entitled to half his cash.
She loves him apparently and would leave her husband in a heart beat. Please tell me what to do? I have a incline to walk away and never talk to her again, my husband suggested give her an ultimatum and tell her that if she doesn't tell him I will. I'm scared to death that I wouldn't want to be responsible for ruining their girls lives but ultimately she has cheated her husband and children hasn't she? I'd rather know I I was her husband.
Any ideas welcome, I hate this.

Tell her you are uneasy with knowing something like this and don't want to continue the friendship. Block her number and leave her to it. You shouldn't tell the husband. Any hurt on her children is her doing.

Keep out of it. End the friendship.

Do nothing. No one will thank you.

I can't imagine wanting to drop a friend for this but you do what suits you.

Not your circus, not your monkeys. If you really can’t handle the knowledge you have, end the friendship and move on.

Definitely keep out of it and mind your own business OP. I can guarantee you will be the one held responsible for the fallout if you do anything.

Keep out of it, end the friendship if you feel you need to.

I would not tell her husband. She's out and about with this guy in public, he might already know.

You say you'd want to know if you were her husband, but you might not be happy if someone actually told you.

It's not your business to tell, if you don't like it distance yourself from her.

I would tell him and get rid of her as a friend!

Oof, awkward! If you are friendly with both halves of the couple, at some point you will lose one or both when the truth emerges including that you knew. I’d be inclined to say you don’t wish to talk about it, don’t want to know details and, sadly, I’d probably take a step back rather than get caught in the crossfire.

I would not tell her husband. She's out and about with this guy in public, he might already know.

That is a really horrible attitude to have.

Many women on here have been cheated on - why would you assume this guy knows about his wife's affair?

end the friendship

don’t tell the husband

I wouldn't get involved but it wouldn't affect me staying friends with the person

I know what you mean but I've been on the receiving end of cheating from my first marriage so I guess I'm extra sensitive about it. But you are right, I'm a pretty easy going person and generally just leave people to things but this triggered me I guess.

Just mind your own business. Nothing to do with you.

I don’t think it’s unusual to find out that your friend is capable of great deceit in her marriage. If someone is having an affair it tells you what they’re like as a person. And I wouldnt want to be friends with someone who was like that 🤷‍♀️

Honestly, this is what I’d do and it’s probably not the “right” thing to do but it’s what I’d do.

I’d check with DH that he’s ok with my plan. I’d tell her that DH feels strongly about this, as a man who’d be devastated by his DW cheating, and that he’s intending to tell her DH about the affair. I’d say that she needs to tell her DH first. I’d say it by text so you’d have her texts as proof if she tries to deny it all later down the road. This avoids her begging you because you can’t control what your DH does but it does ensure her DH finds out that she’s cheating and doesn’t continue to be treated like a mug. Make sure you have solid evidence first though. I feel that a man is more likely to believe it coming from another man though.

As an aside, she doesn’t have to stay with her DH just because the rich man she’s shagging won’t leave his wife. It’s irrelevant whether he leaves. Does she financially support herself? Is she essentially saying she won’t leave her DH until she’s found another man to fund her?

Personally I would step back from the friendship. Tell her why or don't, ( I would, but that's just me) -your choice. You're not close with the husband so he may not notice you've cooled the friendship. If he does, she can choose to find an explanation.

Just keep out of it; not your business.

Remember OP you are not responsible for what she is doing. Not your call to do a thing here

You don't know her husband well. Just urge her to end it and that way she will know not to share details with you. You don't need to 'do' anything. You're her friend, not her moral compass.

Stay out of it.

Decide if you want to remain her friend knowing this about her and if not then end the friendship.

What would you do if you found out her husband was cheating on her?

A snake ? Bit harsh I've not said anything have I. I'm just trying to think what to do. It's not me cheating on my family is it....I just know how it feels so please don't resort to name slinging.....bit uncalled for.