Friend is having an affair both are married.

[Themind]

My friend has been married to her husband for 10 years two girls age 8 and 5. As far as I am aware no particular issues with their marriage we have been friends for about 6 years and re quite close. Husband seems like a nice guy but I don't know him as well. I was aware about two years ago she'd had a fling but it had allegedly ended before she'd told me. My husband and I went to the theatre yesterday and ther she was with the man she'd had the fling with earlier. She realised I'd seen her and looked shocked but sat down so I didn't approach. Queue a phone call this morning and several others throughout the day begging me noto to say anything to her husband. She confessed that she had never ended it with him first time round and had carried on cheating. He has lots of money wife doesn't understand him all the usual tripe and he won't leave because his wife will be entitled to half his cash.
She loves him apparently and would leave her husband in a heart beat. Please tell me what to do? I have a incline to walk away and never talk to her again, my husband suggested give her an ultimatum and tell her that if she doesn't tell him I will. I'm scared to death that I wouldn't want to be responsible for ruining their girls lives but ultimately she has cheated her husband and children hasn't she? I'd rather know I I was her husband.
Any ideas welcome, I hate this.

I would end the friendship but not tell her husband.

You won’t be thanked for it.

Don’t tell him, you could wreck a marriage where the affair might blow over. He might not thank you for that and the kids won’t. It’s for them to sort out, not for you to involve yourself in (tell your husband to stop projecting.)

End the friendship if you feel you have to.

So weird. Posters calling OP a snake just because she’s asking if she should tell the husband.

OP - you’re not a snake. Everyone has a right to know if their spouse is cheating on them!

I would want to know and would be grateful if someone told me.

Her rich AP is likely to be having sex with other women.
Your friend loves him so probably daft enough to ditch condoms.
She might still be having sex with her husband to keep the routine and ward off any suspicions. It's grim how many of you say keep out of it. I would want to know therefore I would tell the DH.

End the friendship and tell the husband. Its shocking the amount of people who think you should turn a blind eye. Probably have affair partners themselves 😅🙄

Say nothing and stay friends with your friend. He without sin cast the first stone.

This.

Ditch her. Tell him.

She's cheating on her husband but you're the snake! Ok..........I can only assume this is all a bit too close to home for certain posters. Your friend isn't on MN by any chance is she?

I’m going to go against the majority here and say I would tell her husband (and also end the friendship!)

I’ve been cheated on in the past though and would rather have had someone tell me.

People who are saying to tell him are projecting so much. Just because they would want to know doesn’t mean he would. You don’t know anything about their relationship behind closed doors. Maybe they haven’t had sex in five years and are just staying together for the children which is not that unusual. I definitely wouldn’t interfere.

No, but thank you. I wouldn’t want to know. If it was something important I would have noticed. If it’s a fling to boost his self esteem and means nothing, I wouldn’t want to know.

Jesus - I can’t believe what kind of women are out there!

This!

You can’t continue in the friendship as you’ll be complicit in the lie. Time will go on and you’ll be expected to not say anything, then cover up, and then lie.

None of your business. You don’t know the ins and outs of their marriage. One of my best friends is married to a lovely guy, who is kind, healthy, good looking, adores her. But he does not ever have sex with her. It’s bonkers as she’s pretty and a lovely person. You’d never guess!!

You don’t know the reality of your friend’s marriage.

This.
Why would you even think to take on a moral crusade over this? It doesn't impact on you.

I can’t believe the folk that wouldn’t say anything!

I would mind your OWN business.

I would end the friendship or 'accidentally let slip' the secret to a mutual friend of the couple who is likely to blab to the husband. Not your fault then when it gets back to him!!

I wouldn't want to be her friend. She lies to people who trust her doesn't she? Not a trait I want in a friend.

There is a snake here but it's not the OP.

As usual replies full of posters with no morals.

Well you are not her husband are you? Just mind your OWN business.
No one will be grateful to you for sticking your nose in.

It's disgusting cheating for so long that poor family doesn't know what's coming but it will come out. I wouldn't say anything but she's put you in a very difficult situation that you clearly want no part in. I would end the friendship I wouldn't want a friend that thinks its OK to carry on like that.

My best friend has been cheating on her H for a few years. I don't judge, she has her reasons, and it has nothing to do with me, our friendship or how I feel about her.

I'd keep out. End the friendship if you feel you must.

THIS.

It's not so much 'no morals' but 'no free time for other people's problems'.