To have absolutely lost my cool at teen.

[BABYASLEEP]

I'm at home today with 1.5year old DS and 14 year old DSS. Husband at work.

DS is being a bugger at the moment, not sleeping great and a whirlwind during the day so by the time his nap time comes about mid day I'm absolutely desperate for the peace and quiet for an hour.

Anyway, I can't explain the amount of times I have BEGGED DSS to keep it down in his room on his games console whilst DS is asleep. Every time I go in first and say X is having a sleep now please just be mindful and I'd say at least 80% of the time he'll wake DS up at some point shouting at his games or with his friends.

Anyway, really REALLY needed DS to have a sleep today as didn't sleep great last night and he's also got a bit of a cold type thing so grouchy as hell.

Same thing happened, asked DSS to keep it down whilst DS slept and within 10 mins he's woken DS up who won't go back to sleep.

I absolutely lost my cool and shouted at DSS that this was his fault and why can't he just do as he's told. He got upset and is sulking in his room now. I'm downstairs with DS feeling fucking frazzled.

I'm so sick of it, I feel like unplugging the WiFi whenever DS naps now so he can't play his games anymore if he can't just keep it down. I don't expect silence but just no screeching and shouting!!

I would definitely unplug it during nap times! Got to be consequences for repeatedly ignoring warnings.

Either that or just telling his mum and dad I can't have him anymore during school holidays.

100% unplug the router while DS sleeps. The teen has been asked repeatedly to keep it down and has not, so their own fault for being inconsiderate.

WiFi off at nap times

.

You did ask but sometimes when these teens are on the game they never listen. My DB is the same.
I would unplug the WiFi if he continues to wake up DS when he naps!

Didn’t you post about this before?

If you are the same poster - refuse to have him. You have given ample warning.

He doesn't get to game for the nap time. It isn't like you are saying no gaming ever at your house, just for whatever amount of time Ds is sleeping. It isn't an unreasonable request.

Oo no I've not! Glad it's not just me though!

How often is this a problem, wouldn't the teen normally be at school during a midday nap time?

Why isn't DSS at school?

I know this probably wouldn't help with the peace and quiet but could you and your stepson possibly have a quiet lunch/do some chores together during the baby's nap time?

I was all ready for a YABU because you shouldn’t yell and it’s not effective and also because he’s not your child but needs to feel as welcome as DS, his new sibling. But nah, nope, soz - YANBU.

Obviously yelling isn’t ideal but you’re a human being with emotions and you’re permitted to not be fully in control of yourself 100% of the time, when sleep deprived and stressed and inside your own home. I’m not capable of judging you for that.

I agree with PP - the router goes off at nap time.

Because it's still the holidays?

A lot of schools don’t start back until next week

Well I guess it's naive of me to think kids have gone back to school without questioning where I'm the country you at, I'm in England and most schools went back Tuesday or Wednesday of this week.

It's still Xmas holidays here.

Because it’s the holidays…🙄

Anyway back to the point of the thread..YANBU he’s had plenty warnings, he’s 14 not 4, unplug the Wi-Fi!

Okay, my bad! Nearly ever my child I know is back. Apologies...

*every

School hols here

Honestly it just infuriates me, I just wanted to sit down for an hour and chill before he wakes up and it starts again and now I'm dealing with a tired grumpy baby just because he can't keep it down on his fucking game. I've got to deal with it and he'll just get on with his day doing as he likes all afternoon. It's all the time. I'm sick of it.

If this is just a holidays thing then I think it's reasonable to say this isn't the best place for him to be during the holidays and ask his parents to find another solution. It can't be much fun for him either.

Wi-Fi would have been unplugged after the first time he did it. Just unplug it every time your DS sleeps.

Of course it's U to lose your cool. You want him to be able to control himself so you show him a massive tantrum .... not good is it.

And of course YANBU to want quiet, but you've not done any real discipline and then when that's been shown to be useless you've galloped off the moral high ground and done yelling.

There's only you there with him. It has to be you in the moment, even if your dh has a serious talk with him about his noise later.

The proper discipline takes energy, but so does the yelling and the aftermath of the yelling. You might choose differently next time.

Now you have a convo with dh coming up in which you are justifying yourself and trying to save face etc and the boy is saying how you went bananas on him.

You need parenting strategies and better coms.

Daft question, not all schools are back yet!