To have absolutely lost my cool at teen.

[BABYASLEEP]

I'm at home today with 1.5year old DS and 14 year old DSS. Husband at work.

DS is being a bugger at the moment, not sleeping great and a whirlwind during the day so by the time his nap time comes about mid day I'm absolutely desperate for the peace and quiet for an hour.

Anyway, I can't explain the amount of times I have BEGGED DSS to keep it down in his room on his games console whilst DS is asleep. Every time I go in first and say X is having a sleep now please just be mindful and I'd say at least 80% of the time he'll wake DS up at some point shouting at his games or with his friends.

Anyway, really REALLY needed DS to have a sleep today as didn't sleep great last night and he's also got a bit of a cold type thing so grouchy as hell.

Same thing happened, asked DSS to keep it down whilst DS slept and within 10 mins he's woken DS up who won't go back to sleep.

I absolutely lost my cool and shouted at DSS that this was his fault and why can't he just do as he's told. He got upset and is sulking in his room now. I'm downstairs with DS feeling fucking frazzled.

I'm so sick of it, I feel like unplugging the WiFi whenever DS naps now so he can't play his games anymore if he can't just keep it down. I don't expect silence but just no screeching and shouting!!

feel like unplugging the WiFi whenever DS naps now so he can't play his games anymore if he can't just keep it down

Do. Natural consequences. Also, more babysitting for him. A 'you broke it you bought it' attitude to naps. If he wakes the baby, he can entertain him for an hour while you MN.

Our schools don't go back until Monday.

I have a 15 year old, he does go out a bit more than at 14 but 14 looks like you describe. He is just being a 14 year old boy in his Dad's house shared with his Dad's partner but where does the looking after come in to play. If the OP was actively looking after him she would be talking to him taking him out to do something not let him fester on a games console. I don't really see that as caring for a teenager.

Re kids going back to school. My DD doesn't go back until Tuesday 10th January. It's a state school. They didn't break up until 23/12/22.

Why can't your step son go to his mum's house? He's 14 and making your life a misery at your house.

Why on earth would you allow this to keep happening? Do some proper parenting and have him learn that his actions have consequences.

Posters are only suggesting that the teenager isn’t allowed to play with the console for an hour while the baby naps, not forever, @Goldenbear - and even that wouldn’t be necessary if he would stop shouting and waking the baby up!

He could just stop shouting and yelling for an hour - hardly the worst deprivation in the world.

There's going to be one of those "blended family rows" when his parent gets home...........

He’s 14, not 4. You have asked him several times to do something pretty simple. Definitely pull the plug on the Wi-Fi.

A teen should be able to stay quiet during a baby's nap. YANBU

ICanHideButICantRun presumably because it 'is' his home too!

Dguu6u, letting so what? Play on a computer console, so basically why are you letting a 14 year old getting away with this terrible, terrible, typical 14 year old behaviour! By all means explain the shouting is waking the baby but he's not gettong away with anything - he's acting in a fairly naturally self absorbed teenage way. That is not to say it cannot be corrected but to shout at him to the point of upset must have been pretty bad.

First post nails it. Turn it off. No debate.

Get a grip would you, the teen will live without his console for an hour

Thi sis one of the things that builds resentment for teens. Before you had a new kid, I could play my video games with friends, now I have to be quiet in the house. He didn't choose to have a baby in the house. I think you need to find a different way to frame this other than now that baby is here, life in this house revolves around the baby / little kid and he dictates the schedule and who can do what.

The other thing is that with headphones and videogames - kids get loud. It isn't really a quiet whispering activity. The games have moments of activity where players celebrate or are excited or get annoyed (if they die) etc. The virtual forum means that expressions and communication is done via verbal expression. As you have seen from experience, I just don't think it is realistic to ask a 14 year old to be mindful and to play video games with friends quietly if his room is beside baby's room.

I would sit down with DSS and plan together. Have a discussion, involve him in it. Baby needs to sleep sometimes and wakes up when video games are in play. How can we brainstorm a way you can play with your friends and baby can get sleep? What ideas does he have about how to find a way to both co-exist in the house? What else does he enjoy doing that he could do while baby is sleeping? Is there a room in the house that is father or more sound proofed etc.

Because OPs house is one of his homes with his separated parents.

My ds at 14 made my life a misery at times too. Ok, I was his parent which made it easier as all boundaries were mine, but OP took on a man with a child and telling him he is off his console when the baby is sleeping, after several requests and warnings to be quiet, is well within the remit of a reasonable and loving stepparent.

Why is this child not at school ??

Yes but that is not the point, the point is he is behaving in an age appropriate way, what disruption does he have to put up with having a baby in his life, I'm sure it is a two way street with noise.

If he can't keep the noise down you'll have to tell his parents you can't babysit him in the holidays. Simples.

Unplug the wifi. Make sure he has books/magazines or something else to do instead during that time

I agree with this. He's a teen. He's doing what teen's do. They get engrossed in their games and he's enjoying his holiday.

A few things to consider: How often has your son disturbed DSS with his crying? Would you be happy for someone to yell at your son like this in a similar situation? Will you yell at your own son like this when he's being a teen?

Yanbu. A teenager should be able to behave respectfully and not need a million reminders. My ds was 6 when baby dd came along and at that age had no trouble playing quietly when she napped. Literally can't remember him waking her up once.

Hei s 14. I doubt he needs a babysitter. He is just hanging out in his home as 14 year olds do and his step mother happens to be home as well.

At 14 he is old enough to understand requests and action them

i would speak to dh tonight tell him what’s happened that you are sick of asking so he needs to have a chat that you have done request after request and been ignored so now the router goes off when ds is asleep

musingsinmidlife his step mother and step brother / sister happen to be home too. Ultimately if the SS and SM cannot get on then his parents must sort out alternative provision for him. Or SS and SM will fall out?

Op has a loud vocal dss and someone suggested giving him an energy drink!