To have absolutely lost my cool at teen.

[BABYASLEEP]

I'm at home today with 1.5year old DS and 14 year old DSS. Husband at work.

DS is being a bugger at the moment, not sleeping great and a whirlwind during the day so by the time his nap time comes about mid day I'm absolutely desperate for the peace and quiet for an hour.

Anyway, I can't explain the amount of times I have BEGGED DSS to keep it down in his room on his games console whilst DS is asleep. Every time I go in first and say X is having a sleep now please just be mindful and I'd say at least 80% of the time he'll wake DS up at some point shouting at his games or with his friends.

Anyway, really REALLY needed DS to have a sleep today as didn't sleep great last night and he's also got a bit of a cold type thing so grouchy as hell.

Same thing happened, asked DSS to keep it down whilst DS slept and within 10 mins he's woken DS up who won't go back to sleep.

I absolutely lost my cool and shouted at DSS that this was his fault and why can't he just do as he's told. He got upset and is sulking in his room now. I'm downstairs with DS feeling fucking frazzled.

I'm so sick of it, I feel like unplugging the WiFi whenever DS naps now so he can't play his games anymore if he can't just keep it down. I don't expect silence but just no screeching and shouting!!

That makes more sense, it must be a lot of fun if they're actually yelling.

You're so right, enjoy it!

OP, my DSS used to drive me up the wall being unable to keep it down when his baby sister was supposed to be napping. I definitely yelled a few times. But it was exactly the way I would have spoken to him if he was my own child and exactly the same way any normal human being would react in the circumstances.

Honestly, once in a while everyone snaps, and it's not such a massive disaster that kids learn that a) they are not the centre of the universe and b) if you ignore everyone else's needs they're going to get annoyed with you.

Even if you do have to resort to switching the darned thing off for an hour, you'll be saving your own sanity and doing him a favour in the long run. He'll be a better partner / flatmate / etc in the future.

And personally I wouldn't be telling him it's 'incredibly kind' to put a sock in it for an hour a day while his baby sibling sleeps. It's not incredibly kind, it's basic consideration for those around him.

All these blended families will damage kids long term.

She's asking him to not be noisy on his gaming console for one hour while the baby sleeps. How he is being damaged?

My own DC do this. 10 month old who’s sleep-dodging like his life depends on it. Takes me ages to settle him at night then the other 2 pipe up, keep coming into my bedroom for something ‘important’(it never is!) jumping in their beds in the next room, screaming. I hate it so much. It’s making my days with them really unpleasant. No amount of shouting at them etc works. I feel your pain OP

I would tell him he has to keep it down during nap times otherwise it's going to go off during that time if he wakes the baby once more. It's his choice then. I'd get his dad on board too.

I feel like unplugging the WiFi whenever DS naps now so he can't play his games anymore if he can't just keep it down.
^Just do this.
You asked him politely, more than once. He ignored you.
Actions have consequences.

Has the Op already covered off these questions upthread?

OP can't take him out if the younger child is asleep, can she? And it's reasonable to expect a 14 year old to have further resources to amuse himself beyond his games console. He could go outside to play, maybe visit a local park, make things, or even just sit and read or do some homework.

🤣🤣🤣

He came home to cancel the cheque

How is turning it off for an hour "severe action"? And where does OP ever suggest she wants to get rid of him?

You did nothing wrong! Hopefully him sulking means he’s being quiet.
id make him look after the toddler

😆

@Goodgrief82 - why is it necessary for the OP to provide all this extra, personal info? She only wants advice about this particular issue, not a detailed analysis of her parenting. OP, you have made a reasonable request and YANBU in expecting your DSS to comply with it.

Not all children are back. My daughter's school is back on Tuesday 10th!

Another vote for no gaming while napping. I'd suggest just kicking the games console off the WiFi network rather than turning the whole damn thing off, which would allow you to use the internet throughout. It really isn't difficult, but you need to spend 10-15 minutes learning how to do it the first time round, which I'm sure is shorter than any arguments and would still give you a longer break.

Careful, you might pull a muscle with that massive reach 🙄

I would give him one warning

If I hear you shouting again after I have asked you to keep the noise down then the Wi-Fi will be going off so be prepared

😂

Hardly a massive reach and some serious projecting going on in this thread- massively over react with a teenage boy to the point of upsetting him because of course being 14 he has no emotional or physical developmental needs that should be accommodated in any way. Surely, with step children you are needing to try even harder to make them feel secure after the upset of their parents' separation.

I had a white noise machine I used to put on during nap times, a fan works just as well though.

Will you yell at your own son like this when he's being a teen?

My mum certainly yelled at my fourteen-year-old brother when he woke me up being noisy when I was a baby. Why wouldn't you?

'Why wouldn't you?',

Er, because it is a pretty crap thing to do.

Er, because it is a pretty crap thing to do

Not really. She was frazzed and sleep-deprived with a baby that screamed 24/7 and he didn't listen.
He's lovely now, and appears not to be scarred for life.

Because context is important ie if he comes to the OP…. Once a month for example, then you might let something like this slide.

if the op and dss have an otherwise awful relationship then may explain the disrespect

I could go on

You don’t think at all relevant?

Oh and if you choose to have such a huge age gap between the children you might want to think about the impact of that choice on the ones who are already here both on a practical and emotional level. Basically, don't be an arse!