In thinking that ex-army men often have problems

[ExArmywifee]

NC for this as expecting to be flamed. Just out of a relationship with an ex-army man so my judgement may be clouded but AIBU to think they all have issues of some kind? And if I'm right why doesn't the army or forces help them adjust? Or maybe they do & some men just have issues anyway & use the army as an excuse? I think if they go in at a young age & it's all they've ever known it must be incredibly hard to not have that any more. But is it ever possible to adjust & have a normal civilian life afterwards, especially if they have seen active service? Water under the bridge for this relationship but still playing on my mind

YABU. There are tens or hundreds of thousands of them, they're not a hivemind.

My currently serving partner is the most well-adjusted and non-dickish man I've ever dated. And he has seen active service, not just office and exercise work.

The forces don’t care. DP struggled for over a year and was just continually signed off, left the forces and all they did was establish he had a job to go to, somewhere to live and a medical. The medical highlighted his MH issues but no help offered

Jesus what have I just read!?!

What about 'army women'? Or is it just the men you want to demonise?

Also, DP does live a normal civi life but the forces didn’t help with this. A lot of his mates have issue, but I think long standing ones, but a lot don’t. Just like civilians there’s good and bad

Well, what sort of a person signs up to wield weapons? One you want to avoid, clearly.

I agree, had a relationship with ex army once. Deeply troubled and strange guy. Definitely would avoid if possible.

'Always' no. Often, yes.

Over represented in the prison population and domestic violence for example. PTSD and a lack of support.

Not demonising anyone. Just trying to make sense of things. Might have known it would go like this. Of the few currently serving & army guys I know they all have issues which they fully admit to.

In my experience they have issues to join up in the first place, but then I would say that as I’m anti-war in general

I work in mental health, we have an MOD wing so I experience lots of ex service men and woman with mental health problems and I also have a brother who is an ex paratrooper. My brother is now a recovering alcoholic and he's not even 40 years old. In my personal experience the Army disgard people like rubbish once they've had their use from them. There is also very little to zero help for them in the transition to civilian life and it's very difficult to get help for ones suffering from PTSD once a normal civilian so over time they struggle and can become very mentally unwell.
It's tragic!!

Wow. Can't believe I've just read this. That's a very narrow minded view of the military.

Like a certain member of the monarchy perhaps? He seems like a well balanced person.

Don't even know what hivemind is

What is it you think they do @overmydeadbody ? Hand out cookies?

YES !! I am too as of a few days ago and we have a child together. I just opened Mumsnet whilst thinking this exact thing and see this thread!

Pardon ???? Wtf did I just read ???? As an ex 'Army' woman who served 15 years you have gone straight for the jugular there. Do you even know what we see or do when we serve to keep ignorant people like you safe ! This is why some but not all have issues.when I left 11 years ago there was no real support for going to civvy Street and yes after living a structured institutional life for all my adult life and having PTSD from a tour didn't bode well to begin .
But I have readjusted and ma y others do. I have also met many arseholes who haven't served and also have problems. Unbelievable

This is how I feel. Troubled is a good word. Just wondering how common it is & if I should have anticipated it would be the case.

Noted, thanks! 😂

Some people may have had well-hidden issues before they joined up, some people develop issues due to things they see, others don’t even when doing the same job. There’s a massive scope of different personality types, level of self-awareness, experiences, ability (and often willingness) to access appropriate help etc at play across all three Services.

Costa Rica did it. Successfully.

Yes, like half the arsehole'DH's' here on mumsnet!!! There's idiots everywhere

I'm not ignorant thanks