In thinking that ex-army men often have problems

[ExArmywifee]

NC for this as expecting to be flamed. Just out of a relationship with an ex-army man so my judgement may be clouded but AIBU to think they all have issues of some kind? And if I'm right why doesn't the army or forces help them adjust? Or maybe they do & some men just have issues anyway & use the army as an excuse? I think if they go in at a young age & it's all they've ever known it must be incredibly hard to not have that any more. But is it ever possible to adjust & have a normal civilian life afterwards, especially if they have seen active service? Water under the bridge for this relationship but still playing on my mind

When what time comes?

The army has never looked after its own, from accounts of disabled survivors of Waterloo having to beg on the streets, right up to now when homeless and damaged ex servicemen haunt the street and hostels, the poor bloody infantry are treated as PH says he treated his pot shot Afghans. Chess pieces, replaceable, cheap. There will always be more people,

"It's Tommy this and Tommy that
And Tommy you're a liar"
But it's "saviour of the country
When the guns begin to fire"
Rudyard Kipling

They then come out and can't cope with having to navigate the world, as life was in many ways easier in the army-they didn't have to worry about the boring things like bill paying, housing issues etc so everything can seem like too much to cope with.

You do know that many people in the armed forces own their own homes and do the same boring things as everyone else when they’re not actually at work or on deployment? They are not all in barracks or married quarters!

Judge??? Maybe read my thread before posting 😡

You do know that many people in the armed forces own their own homes and do the same boring things as everyone else when they’re not actually at work or on deployment? They are not all in barracks or married quarters!

You genuinely wouldn't know my DH was military if it wasn't for the uniform and deployments; we live in our owned house commutable from base, he works 9-5 like most other people in a largely office based role. The most PTSD he will get is from a paper cut. He is intelligent, did well in school, suffers no mental ill and is an all round ordinary bloke...like most of the people he works with.

You could be describing my DS, unc79!

You could be describing my DS, unc79!

And excellent at ironing and scrubbing shoes clean 😂

Your post literally said my judgement may be clouded OP!! 😂 So yes. Maybe read your own post before replying.

My point was maybe he’s been through more than you can ever understand. But that doesn’t mean you should stay with him and nobody should judge you for leaving if he had issues he wasn’t dealing with. None of us are living your life OP.

No idea what that means but I imagine it’s not polite 😂 You asked for opinions. You said you name changed because you expected to get flamed. You got flamed. You want people to say yes OP, that’s the reason your relationship ended because they are all a bunch of fuck ups.

Oh hush now, you're making yourself sound hysterical.
They're not the childsnatchers or pressgangers.
Let's hope for world peace and not a world war, because with people like you we would be defending ourselves with nothing more than the daily newspaper and maybe a shovel for heavy artillery due to having no AF.
Now, I won't engage with you any longer because each of your replies become sillier and insulting to those who lost loved ones.
Have a lovely day.

You genuinely wouldn't know my DH was military if it wasn't for the uniform and deployments; we live in our owned house commutable from base, he works 9-5 like most other people in a largely office based role. The most PTSD he will get is from a paper cut.

Umm, well yeah obviously if he works in an office role and lives a normal life. I think it was obvious that we're generally talking about squaddies and those out on the frontline seeing military conflict firsthand, not someone in a back office working 9-5. 🙄

Umm, well yeah obviously if he works in an office role and lives a normal life. I think it was obvious that we're generally talking about squaddies and those out on the frontline seeing military conflict firsthand, not someone in a back office working 9-5.

Why is that obvious? Most people are throwing around "army" and "military" as if every serving person is in a combative role and has seen front line action, despite very little front line action being seen in over 10 years, and many then assuming they are inevitably damaged.

They are all trained as soldiers first and foremost, they all have regular weapons training, but there is a huge misconception as to what being in the military actually entails for the most part. They are all being issued with laptops, they are all part of the "back office" you so pathetically try to belittle. My husband has largely been involved in humanitarian issues.

So if it is "obvious" the OP and everyone else are "only" talking about those who have served 10+ years in a front line role, I suggest you all specify and stop making sweeping statements about a sector that has 100,000+ people.

Not belittling anyone, but as you yourself pointed out the most PTSD he will get is from a paper cut. So obviously he is not likely to have issues and therefore not likely to be relevant to the post. Not everything needs to be specified as the majority of people have the ability to read between the lines.

he works 9-5 like most other people in a largely office based role. The most PTSD he will get is from a paper cut.

Tbf, a lot of feminists get PTSD from reading stuff online, so I don't think it's 100% a combat. illness.

I think you'll find the vote agrees with me so as you have nothing useful to contribute please leave my thread

The Internet doesn't belong to you, you can't order people off 'your' thread. It's a public forum not a clique

You come across as very bitter. It’s only useful if it agrees with you, right? Both DF and DH in the army, two different time periods, three different wars. So I was giving my opinion based on lived experience rather than opinion. Not sure how long your relationship was but for both your sakes, be glad it is over OP.

Not bitter at all. Just hacked off at my thread being hijacked. My relationship ended because I chose to end it. Don't come here & attack me when all I did was ask for help.

Oh for goodness sake. You’re not being attacked. You asked for an opinion on the internet.

You asked if they ALL have issues. No, of course they bloody don’t. But if they do, unless you’re willing to understand where it comes from then it’s a lost cause anyway. It might not be an excuse for behaviour but it can be a reason. What you choose to do with that is entirely up to you as nobody else is living your life.

You didn't ask for help. You started a thread asking if all army men have issues. You said your relationship was water under the bridge and you expected to be flamed.

How does often translate to all?

AIBU to think they all have issues of some kind?

When your OP says all

I really think you need to re-read your OP properly...

The title of my thread is 'In thinking that ex-army men often have problems'