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Original poster

To feel uneasy about these texts I received tonight? Photos attached

263 replies

backtomeagain · 05/01/2023 18:57

I share a 9 year old daughter with my ex, he is a good dad and we get on fine. My daughter has her friend over for a sleepover tonight - all going well then I received this text from my ex. He hasn't responded since the last message shown and isn't answering his phone.

I am wracking my brains for what it could possibly be. She has a phone she uses sometimes in my house to face time her friends etc but I go through that and there's nothing and her dad doesn't have it at his house. Im so confused by what he means and feeling quite frustrated he's said something like this and now not responding.

To feel uneasy about these texts I received tonight? Photos attached
To feel uneasy about these texts I received tonight? Photos attached
OP posts:
BadNomad · 05/01/2023 21:21

Oh he's annoying. I'd text back "It's ok. I sorted it."

AramintaLee · 05/01/2023 21:34

I also think it sounds like he's saying your daughter and her friend are bullying a young girl...

I suppose (if this is what he means) he should be credited for noticing it and wanting to get to the bottom of it. On the other hand... no need to be so cryptic to the point where it's impossible to work out if this is what he means. I don't know why he's being all cloak and dagger about it.

BlandSoup · 05/01/2023 21:38

BadNomad · 05/01/2023 21:21

Oh he's annoying. I'd text back "It's ok. I sorted it."

Do this. Then don’t respond. He’s just doing it to wind you up and keep in control of you.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 05/01/2023 21:38

Ime he is just trying to ruin yor time with your dc.
Just tell him it's all sorted.
And you wil update him another time. Then switch off your phone.

EL8888 · 05/01/2023 21:39

He seems like a total bellend from those texts. That’s before you even get to his shit spelling and the way he writes

Teenagequeenwithaloadedgun · 05/01/2023 21:42

Just text back 'can't talk anymore, it's all going off tonight'.

Then refuse to tell him what's happened, because he's a complete drama queen who writes gibberish to wind you up

daisyjgrey · 05/01/2023 21:44

Fucking hell those messages are infuriating, I'd have an aneurysm by now.

SunshineLoving · 05/01/2023 21:45

This seems like a control thing. Now he's told you the suspected issue is bullying, I would just text back 'thanks for letting me know, I'll sort it'. Then do your own investigations.

TheProblemIsMe · 05/01/2023 21:46

I see what the problem is OP, it's quite simple really, he's a tosser. Don't engage with it.

Candleabra · 05/01/2023 21:46

Ignore. He’s pulling your pigtails.
Controlling you. And it’s working.
Just ignore.

deeperthanallroses · 05/01/2023 21:53

i guess all you can do is respond ‘that is all far too vague to be any use, so I assume it’s not urgent or critical as if it were you’d tell me what’s going on. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I’m just going to ignore this until you can explain.’

ShandaLear · 05/01/2023 22:08

Stop letting him control you. If it was really important he would tell you. Just write what my teen writes when I ask her to do something. Reply ‘Okie’ and do a big thumbs up 👍

WilsonMilson · 05/01/2023 22:09

Jeez he absolutely loves a bit of drama and stringing you along.

Two can play at that game.

I’d message him with “you’ll never guess what I’ve overheard”

Then leave it.
If he responds tell him you’ll tell him when you next see him.

He seems like a massive twat. I could not be arsed with his manipulation, but I would certainly play him right back.

KettrickenSmiled · 05/01/2023 22:10

backtomeagain · 05/01/2023 19:15

I just feel sick

FGS stop playing his game.

For those asking - he has a tendency - not often but has done in the past to text me or phone and say 'we need to talk' but will refuse to tell me what about until the date we have actually arranged to talk and will push that date back even though he knows it heightens my anxiety. Although hasn't done this in a while.
So ignore the twat.
The girls are safe with you.
Why are you feeding his drama?

SnowlayRoundabout · 05/01/2023 22:12

backtomeagain · 05/01/2023 19:43

For those asking - he has a tendency - not often but has done in the past to text me or phone and say 'we need to talk' but will refuse to tell me what about until the date we have actually arranged to talk and will push that date back even though he knows it heightens my anxiety. Although hasn't done this in a while.

You're feeding him by letting him know this makes you anxious. You need to say something like "Obviously it's not important if you're playing this game, so great, I'll relax and not bother listening out for anything". If he tries to ramp up the tension after that, ignore him.

RandomCatGenerator · 05/01/2023 22:14

IDontWantToBeAPie · 05/01/2023 20:16

Text back 'I might have heard something'

When he asks what tell him you'll let him know when you see him.

When he pushes say 'there might be something'.

Ad infinitum.

Yes this

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 05/01/2023 22:15

He has control issues and sounds like he still wants to do that, is he a narcissist. Ex was like this and said we need to talk but you have to wait until tomorrow and that was when we were together. A friend said that is awful as it puts you in full mode of anxiety and it is a crap thing to do to a person you are supposed to love. They have the power then. Just tell him to never do that again, do not argue with him but be firm in how you say it. Keep diary of all these incidents incase you need in future. He probably just hates to see you happy and having your daughter have a friend sleepover so trying to just break you down with anxiety. Don't let him ruin your life.

figmaofmyimagination · 05/01/2023 22:17

Someone I work with tries to do this. I’ve lost so many hours to it. Now I might ask once (if in the mood to, which is getting rarer) and if they are mysterious I just reply “Ok” or the thumbs up emoji and it sends them BONKERS.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 05/01/2023 22:17

Text him what ShandaLear said, then he knows his little games not working.

Partey · 05/01/2023 22:21

Coke would be my guess. My ex pulls shit like this all the time

Crikeyalmighty · 05/01/2023 22:24

This idiot sounds like he thinks he is in Eastenders

hashbrownsandwich · 05/01/2023 22:29

He thinks your daughter and the friend are bullying someone else. His approach is awful but it could actually have some good intentions.

ImustLearn2Cook · 05/01/2023 22:42

I agree with pp that he is being manipulative and playing mind games. Your responses (especially the one where you said you would get dd and her friend into the car to come over to his place because you’re worried about it being something serious like suicide) were exactly what he wanted and you played right into his hands.

You can’t reason with people like that and you really can’t beat them at their own game. Go grey rock.

Glitterblue · 05/01/2023 22:44

It sounds like he thinks your DD and her friend are bullying a young girl and he wants you to listen out for anything they might be discussing about it? But it's really unfair of him to put you in this position, he should have told you what's going on/what he thinks is going on and told you what you're to keep your ears open for, instead of being ridiculously cryptic and getting you all worried about what the heck is going on. I'd have been uneasy and panicking too after texts like that- it could have been anything!

Verbena17 · 05/01/2023 22:47

Has he accessed her account and seen the messages they’re sending?

He’s being a prat about it though - if he gave a crap, he’d be calling you or not texting in code!