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Original poster

To feel uneasy about these texts I received tonight? Photos attached

263 replies

backtomeagain · 05/01/2023 18:57

I share a 9 year old daughter with my ex, he is a good dad and we get on fine. My daughter has her friend over for a sleepover tonight - all going well then I received this text from my ex. He hasn't responded since the last message shown and isn't answering his phone.

I am wracking my brains for what it could possibly be. She has a phone she uses sometimes in my house to face time her friends etc but I go through that and there's nothing and her dad doesn't have it at his house. Im so confused by what he means and feeling quite frustrated he's said something like this and now not responding.

To feel uneasy about these texts I received tonight? Photos attached
To feel uneasy about these texts I received tonight? Photos attached
OP posts:
romdowa · 05/01/2023 20:13

I'd be asking him has he had a stroke and does he need medical attention.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 05/01/2023 20:16

Text back 'I might have heard something'

When he asks what tell him you'll let him know when you see him.

When he pushes say 'there might be something'.

Ad infinitum.

toocold54 · 05/01/2023 20:16

His spelling is appalling

That’s nasty and irrelevant.

Sounds like he thinks the girls are bullying someone but he’s not sure if he’s over reacting.

I hate when people do this BUT I work with very vulnerable teens and if there’s a particular issue going on with one of them my safeguarding lead will ask us to listen in on all conversations and report anything that we find concerning or out of character.

It used to frustrate me as I’d think if I knew the issue then I’d know what to listen out for but apparently if someone tells you what the issue is then you are more likely to misjudge what someone says as you subconsciously make it fit the scenario.

So I get why he’d not want to tell you the issue but also why he wanted you to keep an extra ear on them tonight.
However, I can completely see why it’s so annoying and why you went into panic mode as I probably would have done the same with my child.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 05/01/2023 20:16

Stop engaging with his idiocy

This! He is annoying but you are just as bad for feeding his nonsense. A simple Hmm would have covered it.

Iwantamarshmallowman · 05/01/2023 20:18

toocold54 · 05/01/2023 20:16

His spelling is appalling

That’s nasty and irrelevant.

Sounds like he thinks the girls are bullying someone but he’s not sure if he’s over reacting.

I hate when people do this BUT I work with very vulnerable teens and if there’s a particular issue going on with one of them my safeguarding lead will ask us to listen in on all conversations and report anything that we find concerning or out of character.

It used to frustrate me as I’d think if I knew the issue then I’d know what to listen out for but apparently if someone tells you what the issue is then you are more likely to misjudge what someone says as you subconsciously make it fit the scenario.

So I get why he’d not want to tell you the issue but also why he wanted you to keep an extra ear on them tonight.
However, I can completely see why it’s so annoying and why you went into panic mode as I probably would have done the same with my child.

I'm dyslexic and my spelling is horrific. I don't think that comment was nasty and irrelevant at all.
I think its very relevant especially if he is drunk.

Esmereldaaa · 05/01/2023 20:18

What an utter twat.

I would not engage with him any further.

Goosefatroasts · 05/01/2023 20:23

Yep I can see why he’s an ex. Well done on that front.

I would ignore it, if he’s too thick to tell you what to keep an ear out for I wouldn’t give him the time of day. Seems like he’s enjoying having some knowledge over you. In the meantime I would firmly say to my DD any funny business or bullying and you will be in serious trouble!! And a raised eyebrow. This would be enough for my DD to think shit mums on to something and if it is something of nothing she wouldn’t give it much thought.

I would then get on with my evening.

imnotsickbutimnotwell · 05/01/2023 20:23

It’s tempting to play the game and reply back in the same manner but these sort of idiots won’t give up the best thing is to ignore and don’t engage.

AnyFucker · 05/01/2023 20:24

You are still playing your part if you text a question then wait for an answer

FlorenceAndTheVendingMachine · 05/01/2023 20:25

Bit annoyingly dramatic and vague. My first thought was if he thinks daughter's friend may be suffering abuse or something.

Sparklfairy · 05/01/2023 20:25

Datgal · 05/01/2023 19:58

Yeah, I'd say something like 'you're wrong. It's much worse'. Then just bloody ignore him. Weirdo bullshit.

Exactly! Surely the only response to this mindfuckery is to reply with something equally mindfucky-mcfuckery thats a technical term AND THEN TURN YOUR PHONE OFF.

007sky · 05/01/2023 20:27

I can see why you are no longer together FFS.

Janch13 · 05/01/2023 20:29

I understand this is triggering but I think your mind is taking you to extreme places when if he really suspected something urgent/dangerous (like your speculations of suicide talk, inappropriate pics etc) he hopefully would contact you urgently about it rather than sending vague texts.

From his first message I would gather that he has heard/seen something that’s given him a dodgy feeling and he wanted you to observe to see if you noticed anything similar. But as above, nothing urgently wrong, just something to monitor.

Keep us posted and I hope everything turns out OK. Try to stay rational. X

WaitingOutside · 05/01/2023 20:32

If it was that important he would have already told you what he believes might be going on. You've replied many times asking for clarity. It is very easy to call or send a text saying that he's overheard something or seen a behaviour that he's worried might mean they're bulling another child. See... that didn't take many words to type out.

If he can't do that, then clearly it's not anything worth sharing with you with any urgency. I would mute him and get on with your evening.

Janch13 · 05/01/2023 20:33

toocold54 · 05/01/2023 20:16

His spelling is appalling

That’s nasty and irrelevant.

Sounds like he thinks the girls are bullying someone but he’s not sure if he’s over reacting.

I hate when people do this BUT I work with very vulnerable teens and if there’s a particular issue going on with one of them my safeguarding lead will ask us to listen in on all conversations and report anything that we find concerning or out of character.

It used to frustrate me as I’d think if I knew the issue then I’d know what to listen out for but apparently if someone tells you what the issue is then you are more likely to misjudge what someone says as you subconsciously make it fit the scenario.

So I get why he’d not want to tell you the issue but also why he wanted you to keep an extra ear on them tonight.
However, I can completely see why it’s so annoying and why you went into panic mode as I probably would have done the same with my child.

Agree with this.

Pixiedust1234 · 05/01/2023 20:36

Mute him. Hes playing mind games so don't respond. Remember.. he's an ex for a reason.

tirednewmumm · 05/01/2023 20:37

Haha yea just reply; "you were right but there's more to it than we thought! Many more details uncovered, all resolved now though !" And then mute your phone and leave him stewing

U1sce · 05/01/2023 20:40

If theres no alexa or something he might have somehow connected to (I do t have an alexa so no idea if thats even possible) then Id ignore him.

verdantverdure · 05/01/2023 20:44

He's a terrible communicator isn't he?

He thinks your daughter and her friend might be bullying someone is what I get from his messages but I don't know why he can't just say so.

DowntonCrabby · 05/01/2023 20:45

It’s 97.2% likely to be absolutely fuck all. Don’t feed it!

Mummybearto3bg · 05/01/2023 20:56

My sister used to regularly text me "RING ME ASAP" ... then I'd ring in a panic and it would be something so stupid. I started ignoring her after the 20th time and then she started telling everyone I never answer the phone.... yes obviously!!!

dcut · 05/01/2023 21:01

He's doing this deliberately to cause you anxiety.
He's deliberately wrecked your evening - now you are anxious and you are supposed to be "listening in" so you can't relax and enjoy the evening.
I'd fucking mute him.
The girls are safe in your house.
If there really is an issue he should state what it is. I suspect it's nothing.

GabriellaMontez · 05/01/2023 21:10

VisaGeezer · 05/01/2023 19:01

Drama queen (him).

Can't spell hunch.

This.

Ignore. He's attention seeking.

RelievedItsOver · 05/01/2023 21:14

Just reply back with "Ok Poirot, cool story 👍" then ignore him.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 05/01/2023 21:15

He sounds so immature and seems to want to cause you needless anxiety and to ruin your evening. Just ignore him and tell him calmly next time you see him not to do that again and if he has something to say to just text it properly or call over to talk to you or ring you and none of this mystery that has to wait that is upsetting for you. What age is he, to be honest he sounds like a knob head. Do not reply to him again as that is what he wants. Is he always like this?