Page 5 | To feel uneasy about these texts I received tonight? Photos attached

backtomeagain · 2023-01-05T18:57:27+00:00

I share a 9 year old daughter with my ex, he is a good dad and we get on fine. My daughter has her friend over for a sleepover tonight - all going well then I received this text from my ex. He hasn't responded since the last message shown and isn't answering his phone. I am wracking my brains for what it could possibly be. She has a phone she uses sometimes in my house to face time her friends etc but I go through that and there's nothing and her dad doesn't have it at his house. Im so confused by what he means and feeling quite frustrated he's said something like this and now not responding.

FictionalCharacter · 05/01/2023 19:48

backtomeagain · 05/01/2023 19:43

For those asking - he has a tendency - not often but has done in the past to text me or phone and say 'we need to talk' but will refuse to tell me what about until the date we have actually arranged to talk and will push that date back even though he knows it heightens my anxiety. Although hasn't done this in a while.

What he’s doing now is just a new version of that.

Ameadowwalk · 05/01/2023 19:48

I think he is suggesting your DD and her friend are bullying a younger girl, but it is so badly written I am not sure. He seems to be suggesting he has something linked to this which he will show you when he sees you.
However, he has not been clear about this and you have not heard anything.
Does your DD have any social media or similar? That’s the only thing I can think of.
All that said, if he really does have concerns, he is not making them clear and they cannot be that urgent as they are not clear. If he has form for being secretive and making you anxious, I would just leave it.
i would probably have a chat with my DD about bullying or ask her if there was anything going on at some point, though. Just in a general kind of way.

doodleygirl · 05/01/2023 19:51

Stop the drama, just ignore

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 05/01/2023 19:51

@backtomeagain another PP has reminded me that if ex husband starts this kind of crap, I do sometimes respond with "thanks", or "noted". Then delete.

Maytodecember · 05/01/2023 19:52

backtomeagain · 05/01/2023 19:43

For those asking - he has a tendency - not often but has done in the past to text me or phone and say 'we need to talk' but will refuse to tell me what about until the date we have actually arranged to talk and will push that date back even though he knows it heightens my anxiety. Although hasn't done this in a while.

That sounds like a control thing to cause you anxiety. He’s doing the same here.
I wouldn’t engage any further with him via text. If there is a problem you’ll find out soon enough. You could always start a general chat about bullying with your dd if you think it’s necessary.

Clairedelaplume · 05/01/2023 19:53

Oh dear God he seems insufferable. Poor you OP! He’s clearly just trying to wield a bit of power.

Tamarindtree · 05/01/2023 19:55

I don’t understand his messages.

He wants you to listen to your daughter and her friend because they might discuss ‘something’?

The ‘something’ is not anything he will disclose?

I would not rise to it because if it was something important he would just come out and say it.

NotSummerYet · 05/01/2023 19:56

He sounds dramatic. And thick

JustMerkinYourChain · 05/01/2023 19:56

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 05/01/2023 19:51

@backtomeagain another PP has reminded me that if ex husband starts this kind of crap, I do sometimes respond with "thanks", or "noted". Then delete.

Based on OP’s recent update, I say this the way to go.

girlmom21 · 05/01/2023 19:57

Just respond "ah I see what you mean" and he'll lose his mind

MountainChalet · 05/01/2023 19:58

He sounds like a control freak. He's probably enjoying worrying you and making you beg for him to explain. Don't text him back.

Datgal · 05/01/2023 19:58

Yeah, I'd say something like 'you're wrong. It's much worse'. Then just bloody ignore him. Weirdo bullshit.

brusselspout · 05/01/2023 19:59

What did he give her when he came round? I think think must be a clue <twiddles moustache>

Remona · 05/01/2023 20:00

Christ on a bike! He’s hard work and no mistake.

Absolute bloody gibberish.

titchy · 05/01/2023 20:00

Given that he's been a controlling test before I'd be inclined to just send the thumbs up emoji then ignore.

titchy · 05/01/2023 20:00

test = twat

orbitalcrisis · 05/01/2023 20:00

"I was really intrigued at first, then excited, then worried, then confused. Then I started to lose interest and now I'm just bored so I'm going to bed. Night"

Original poster

backtomeagain · 05/01/2023 20:01

girlmom21 · 05/01/2023 19:57

Just respond "ah I see what you mean" and he'll lose his mind

😂😂

OP posts:

imnotsickbutimnotwell · 05/01/2023 20:01

backtomeagain · 05/01/2023 19:43

For those asking - he has a tendency - not often but has done in the past to text me or phone and say 'we need to talk' but will refuse to tell me what about until the date we have actually arranged to talk and will push that date back even though he knows it heightens my anxiety. Although hasn't done this in a while.

This is manipulation and he is trying to control you. Like a cat with a mouse. Look up “grey rock” techniques and do this with him. Do not feed into it. Do not reply to his messages immediately, reply something generic like “ok” or just a thumbs up.

My ex does this and if it was a genuine emergency they would not behave like this they would call and be specific rather than vague nonsense. They want to play mind games and check that if they want your attention they will get it.

OnTheRoadAgain1 · 05/01/2023 20:01

girlmom21 · 05/01/2023 19:57

Just respond "ah I see what you mean" and he'll lose his mind

I would do this solely because you can then explain to him exactly what he's doing to you so he stops it in future. Not to play games but to be able to give an example he should understand, because he doesn't seem to understand you telling him in words.

orbitalcrisis · 05/01/2023 20:02

@girlmom21 Yes! I kept an ear out and I know what you were worried about now! OMG! What should we do!? This is fucking serious!

watchfulwishes · 05/01/2023 20:03

backtomeagain · 05/01/2023 19:43

For those asking - he has a tendency - not often but has done in the past to text me or phone and say 'we need to talk' but will refuse to tell me what about until the date we have actually arranged to talk and will push that date back even though he knows it heightens my anxiety. Although hasn't done this in a while.

He's pulling your chain and you are a willing participant. Stop playing along.

Just ignore him, if neither girl has a phone in the room there is really nothing they can do that they wouldn't do at school.

Happyher · 05/01/2023 20:03

Text him back and tell him he’s talking gibberish and you’re now ignoring him. Does he drink? And then just reassure yourself that your daughter and her friend are fine.

TimeToFlyNow · 05/01/2023 20:05

My ex does crap like this. Always amounts to nothing

CrunchyCarrot · 05/01/2023 20:12

I can see why he's an ex! So you're supposed to stand listening at the bedroom door all night on the basis of some undefined hunch? 🙄