To feel uneasy about these texts I received tonight? Photos attached

[backtomeagain]

I share a 9 year old daughter with my ex, he is a good dad and we get on fine. My daughter has her friend over for a sleepover tonight - all going well then I received this text from my ex. He hasn't responded since the last message shown and isn't answering his phone.

I am wracking my brains for what it could possibly be. She has a phone she uses sometimes in my house to face time her friends etc but I go through that and there's nothing and her dad doesn't have it at his house. Im so confused by what he means and feeling quite frustrated he's said something like this and now not responding.

Does he often try to get attention from you by creating drama? And long winded confusing text conversations that could have been clear at text number one? My lonely narcissist ex used to do that.

😂😂

I’d tell him you’re getting in the car in 10 minutes with them both unless he calls and gives an account of what the fuck he’s on about.

Put him on silent for the night and ignore.

You have the proof in front of your eyes that the girls are safe and happy.

He is a manipulative nutcase.

Ignore me. Do this. Totally.

These messages read to me like a family member sounded via text when they were going through a psychosis. Could this be a possibility?

Is he drunk?

I've asked this - awaiting reply

Just call him FFS, texting is slow and he obviously isn’t good at it.

OP has already said that she's tried that and he's not answering his phone.

Tell him to get in touch when he's capable of actually having a conversation rather than playing games.

‘I’ll tell you what I’ve heard if you can tell me sensibly what you’re referring to.’

Then of course, you’ve heard nothing concerning. But I’m general this is really bad behaviour on his part, is it unusual?

@backtomeagain Don't ask him anything at all. He will be basking in the attention. He's not answering his phone because he knows you want to talk to him. Delete his messages as they come in, and don't respond at all. If there is a genuine problem, you will soon know about it through less dramatic channels.

My ex is EXACTLY like this!! I find it so hard to explain/articulate to anyone else but it's like he loves to hold all of the information.

"Oh there's something big going on with xyz"

Me - "oh right, like what?"

Him - "aah that would be telling"

Fuck off or tell me, either one is fine. I've learned to completely ignore it now, I don't respond to any part of it at all and in the end he can't help himself but to tell me what he's on about.

Attention seeking power play type stuff I think

Id say ' im afraid youre going to either explain what the fuck youre on about, using words, or just leave this one, as im not a bloody mindreader, and yes it is too much to ask to have to eavesdrop on 2 9 year olds happily playing, without any further context as to what youre actually suspicious about.

If he continues being vague, just ignore

Looks like the kind of nonsense my ex sends when drunk. Is he a drinker?

For those asking - he has a tendency - not often but has done in the past to text me or phone and say 'we need to talk' but will refuse to tell me what about until the date we have actually arranged to talk and will push that date back even though he knows it heightens my anxiety. Although hasn't done this in a while.

This.

He's purposely not answering you so don't feed his attention seeking.

Its exactly what my (D?) H does. Just ignore it and don't respond. If it was something he is actually concerned about, he would have called you.

When you are picking up your daughter, don't even mention the texts to him. He will HATE that.

He’s being abusive. Intentionally causing you unnecessary stress and anxiety to make himself feel power over you. Don’t reply. Don’t beg him for information. Look up the grey rock method. It’s the only way to deal with twats like my ex and your ex.

He's deliberately doing this op I would ignore him

Just stop engaging with this nonsense. Literally ignore any more of his texts, it's just total bs.

You don't need to do anything different with supervising the girls than you would normally do. You can deal with any information that they tell you or you find out from them as you would do normally.

Just put him on silent

He is just winding you up to amuse himself

Don’t feed him anymore

think about how you can hold your boundaries going forward so he doesn’t keep doing this - or you can at least manage your emotions around it

Yes I bet he thinks your DD and her friend are bullying another child. Hence why he’s not making it urgent and just keeping an ear out. He might be scoping out the parent of the child in question, in the background.

Nog very mature to be so cryptic about it 🙄

Just text him back “Ah ok yes I see what you mean” then ignore him.

Whatever it is it can’t be very important if he’s happy to put it on ice so I’m willing to bet it’s absolutely nothing of consequence.

Is he definitely sober? Sounds like absolute horse shit to me, and he wanted a chat but had nothing to talk about so he started with the cloak and dagger nonsense.