To be sick of societal expectations and 'only children' prejudices

[reddwarfgeek]

I probably am being massively U here but still. Absolutely sick of hearing things about only children being lonely selfish, etc. It gives me anxiety.
I know some amazing only children . And I know some selfish bastards people who can't compromise who have many siblings. Why does this stuff continue to be peddled out?
Everywhere I go people ask me about having a second baby. I'm sure it's not to internationally upset me but after 5 years I just don't know what to say anymore. Had enough of it.

Lots of second babies have been announced this last week on social media. Even though I am pretty sure I don't think want another ...I feel pangs of sadness when I see this. Of course I'm happy for them. It's just hard to see sometimes.

1 child suits some families better. Some women, like myself, feel they can't effectively parent more than 1 child and that's ok. I know my limitations. But then I happy families with 3 or 4 children and wonder how the hell they manage.
The truth, as you can probably tell, is that I'm not quite at peace with 'only' having 1. I wish I could be, maybe it will happen in time. However there are many many reasons why having an only child suits us better and why I'll almost certainly stick with one.
I'm not particularly maternal, have poor MH and my partner nor my parents are helpful. All taboo subjects you can't admit to in RL.

I feel lonely regarding other mums at school. There are some lovely mums but they also often ask me when I'm having another. There are some only child mums but most are considerably younger than me.

I've started to gravitate towards my childfree friends, of which I'm fortunate to have plenty, and they talk about other things. I'm careful not to constantly talk about DD in their company. It's nice to be myself and not judge on my number of children.

I feel like I don't fit in to many social circles now and I wonder if anyone can relate? I'm 37, nearly 38 by the way.

This topic has been done to death, and for sounding horrible and bitter I can only apologise 🙈

I also love that I have the money to spend on my DD. We go abroad every year- just the two of us. I can take her shopping, get her hair done at the hairdressers and treat her to things I know I couldn’t do with more children.

I now feel sorry for you @BabyOnBoard90 & hope your hopes for more than 1 baby come true. And that in the process you grow up a bit.

It would appear that there are currently 2 children in @BabyOnBoard90's home.

Username fits

You've quoted me several times despite being ignored. Perused through my posts and threads as if I need reminding of my own posts 😆

Obviously I'm living rent free in your head. So please do have a good dig and continue to follow my posts. Your time clearly isn't that precious.

That was my thought reading that too!

😂

A teenager more likely with “don’t care” response!

Can you imagine how shit the “best friend” felt after that particular exchange. On holiday as well!

Is this ignoring??! 😂

Just tell them you cannot have any more, that will shut them up.

But why lie??

It is nothing to be ashamed of.

I have an only. We had two more who died and more than one MCs. I'd have loved to be a multi child family.

I do feel I've deprived him of sibling relationships and everything that comes with having siblings and have burdened him with understanding grief and processing death at a young age. I've also deprived him of future family because I can't put myself though trying again and the potential devastation. My mental and emotional health would not take such a set back.

I do also love having an only. We only have to consider him and he is a joy. He's not selfish, bossy or domineering or any of the negative traits associated with being an only child. I know a few onlies are they're lovely children, I know a few multi child families where the kids aren't so lovely. Almost like it's a mix of parenting and personality perhaps.

Thank you @NegroniLover it’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one, often feels like it as all I see are families with 2 or more kids. I can only do my best and have been through hell and high water to have another; this is what I find so frustrating when others make assumptions or ask intrusive questions. It sounds like your daughter has a wonderful life and fantastic parents x

I wouldn’t care what anyone else thinks. I’m mother to an only child, my child conceived via ivf x I couldn’t justify sitting next to women desperate to have one baby and returning to the clinic and I’m onto my second child. You can give your child so much - 100 percent attention and also financial security. Ignore society rules they are old fashioned x sometimes fate decides for us try to focus on being a great mum I’ve learnt what’s meant to be will happen in its own time x

I can tell you it makes inheritance issues MUCH simpler if you only have one. My grandmother was very wealthy and even though she only had two children (my mum and uncle) who both got on very well, the inheritance caused A LOT of family problems