Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lodger cranks up heating to 25

582 replies

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 10:37

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

OP posts:
laylababe5 · 06/01/2023 18:27

If you have a rental agreement with him that doesn't specify anything about heating you cannot get him to move out as he is not in breach of tenancy. You could ride it out until the renewal date and then put a clause in the new agreement about the heating times and temperature and if he doesn't abide by the new agreement you then have cause to evict him. The other thing you can do, seeing as you have a Nest thermometer, is set the schedule to your desired temperature every half an hour. A bit of a faff I know but then even if he turns it up it will be turned down again automatically at the next scheduled time, and would turn off overnight while he is asleep.

GUARDIAN1 · 06/01/2023 18:31

I'd give him notice to leave. The heating arrangements you're happy with are more than reasonable. He's gone to some pretty extreme lengths to make sure he gets his own way and shown he can't be trusted. I'd not give him another chance.

Becgoz7 · 06/01/2023 18:32

I would ask him to contribute towards the bill. There's no point kicking him out, if he likes it warm that's his choice but he needs to pay for it.

Flapjackquack · 06/01/2023 18:33

He’s not a tenant, he’s a lodger, the laws are very different.

Flapjackquack · 06/01/2023 18:33

That comment was for @laylababe5

cookie4640 · 06/01/2023 18:52

Don’t suck it up, kick him the f*k out. Your house, your rules, your heating. Stop being a pushover and lose your sht with him.

Pearshaped20 · 06/01/2023 19:04

Who knew having your heating on overnight was even a thing! Maybe I'm just odd

ellyeth · 06/01/2023 19:17

25 degrees, in my opinion, is unreasonable, especially as you and your other lodger are dressing properly and taking sensible steps to keep warm.

I would tell him that, in view of rising energy costs and the fact that you are being disturbed at night by banging pipes, he must find somewhere else to live.

laylababe5 · 06/01/2023 19:20

The OP said in a comment that there's a written agreement in place.

Flapjackquack · 06/01/2023 19:22

laylababe5 · 06/01/2023 19:20

The OP said in a comment that there's a written agreement in place.

It doesn’t mean he has the same rights as a tenant. It’s likely an ongoing agreement but OP has an agreed notice period with him, she doesn’t have to wait until the agreement ends like you said.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 06/01/2023 19:32

BastardtheCat · 05/01/2023 10:49

DH used to be a T-shirt and shorts man all year round, then he retired and our annual income dropped substantially.

Now, it's fleeces and joggers and a blanket on the sofa at night.

You have two options:

  1. Raise his rent to cover additional costs
  2. Ask him to leave and give him notice.

You can be entirely honest and transparent about either option - you're not doing it out of malice; you are just trying to get by. You are definitely NOT being unreasonable here Flowers

This 💯 %

WonkyBananas · 06/01/2023 19:42

This page from Shelter lays out a lodgers rights and yours. Shelter

But if he's on a rolling (weekly/monthly) agreement serve notice on him to leave on the date his next payment is due. If he refuses you are allowed to change the locks to prevent him entering the property.

Alternatively, put his rent up to cover the cost of the extra heating.

The simplest may be to just to get rid of him. Any rules you put in place for the mutual enjoyment of your home he's likely to ignore.

Missingpop · 06/01/2023 20:17

Tell him he either leaves the temperature alone or he has to move out as you cannot cope with the disruption he’s causing you & the other housemate.
He sounds like a bloody snowflake; my heating hasn’t gone above 16, even in the cold snap, I live in an old house too big thick walls & lots of draughts but god 25 I’d be melting; he needs sorting out & quickly or your going to get one hell of a utility bill land on your mat x

laylababe5 · 06/01/2023 20:20

Fair enough

gogoinamercedes · 06/01/2023 21:00

I have been in your shoes and rented out my spare room. Never had any problems. Get rid of your lodger. I would call him something else .......... he is just taking the Michael!!

Tabitha1960 · 06/01/2023 21:29

£1 a day surcharge for heating from September to April, or just give him 2 weeks notice. There are hundreds of people looking to rent rooms.

Grrrrdarling · 06/01/2023 21:34

Mumskisail · 05/01/2023 10:37

My partner left a few years ago and I had time off work for burnout and now in a less stressful (lower paid) role so on a tight income. I rent 2 rooms to help cover my mortgage and bills (about 40%).

The house is heated to 18-21 degrees depending on the room / personal preference, using Nest thermostats (called TRVs) on each radiator. It is lowered at 11pm until 5.30am, meaning it's warm for about an hour after going to bed and it heats up for a few hours before the lodgers get up.

One lodger is very happy with this and prefers a cooler room so sometimes turns it down.

But the other constantly overrides this and heats his room to 25. When I've tried to speak to him about it he answers his door in a tshirt and is only wearing normal socks. The rest of us have warm clothes, slippers and big fleece hoodies on winter evenings, and use fleece blankets to stay cosy on the sofa.

We seem to be in a battle of wills. He goes along with my suggested times and temperatures in discussion but has done everything including claiming his radiator and the TRV don't work, disconnecting the TRV but trying to make it look as though it's connected, saying it won't connect and pulling the little pin out with a pair of pliers to force the heating on. He leaves it on all night. The thermostat when it's reading says 25-26.

The other issue in this old Victorian house is that the heating pumping out all night causes banging in the pipes and keeps myself and the other lodger awake, or wakes us up in the night. So we prefer lots of layers and a quiet night unless we're in a cold patch.

I've offered him extra duvets and blankets (his looks thin) and a hot water bottle but he refuses. I've asked him to discuss the times he wants the heating on and to talk about the heating.

He says the temperature reading is wrong so I gave him a wireless thermostat which showed the same temperature as the TRV and showed it was correct.

I've explained about the increasing cost of gas and showed him my bills. I've showed him the temperatures in the rest of the house and that we are comfortable.

This is the second winter we are having these issues. Last year his sister died so I just kept my mouth shut and left him to it but I felt really unhappy.

Do I just suck it up, winter will be over soon and I'm not making a loss. Or do I tell him it's not acceptable and ask him to leave? Or is it better the devil you know, this is the only issue.

A friend suggested a locking cover to go over the TRV, I'm so irritated it's tempting but is that really ethical? And anyway would he then just get an electric heater? I don't go into his room and I would never snoop.

He's a 44 year old man having to rent a room and it must be his sanctuary and private space.

Do I just let him win the battle and chill out?

Your property & you are responsible for the safety of everyone in that property not him so your rules are gospel!
If he is interfering with the heating system that is an instant pack your bags & find somewhere else to live in my eyes because that is putting everyone in the house at risk & would probably invalidate property & any heating system cover you have!!
He either sticks to the stipulations or you give him his marching orders.
He isn’t a child by any stretch of the imagination but he certainly is behaving like one!
My heating is never above 19 & it is perfectly warm enough.

FromIndia · 06/01/2023 21:41

Curiosity101 · 05/01/2023 10:42

Have you estimated how much more you expect the cost to be for the additional heating?

Can you work out a new rent rate for him and charge him accordingly when his contract is up? If he wants it warmer than agreed then that's up to him, I get that heating is a contentious subject. And whilst I agree with what you've written and personally I would say I prefer the temperatures and approach you take, I wouldn't want to enforce that on a grown adult who has had a whole lifetime to decide on their own personal preferences.

I wouldn't be out of pocket for it though, so I'd just up the rent at the next opportunity by an amount that will cover the additional heating in winter?

This makes sense because a known devil is better. If it is possible to figure out how much it will cost him to stay on charge him that.

Montague22 · 06/01/2023 21:42

@Missingpop totally agree. I just commented that my bedroom is a bit cold and realised the radiator is totally off and has been all winter....we do have a stupid amount of heating credit... I have the window open a lot too. He needs to put some more clothes, 25 is ridiculous.

Marmite17 · 06/01/2023 22:11

The dishonesty would worry me. Would warn that he is no longer welcome if he tampers with property again.
I would however offer a secondary source of heating and/or electric blanket with a rent increase.

Pam100127 · 06/01/2023 22:13

I know exactly how you feel. We run an Airbnb in the apartment we previously lived in before having kids.
A youngish couple, when booking, asked if they could use the heating & we said sure. We keep the thermostat at about 19 & always have the heating on for an hour before guests arrive.
The night day/night they stayed, it was about 9-10 degrees outside.
When they left & we went inside the heat was suffocating.
They’d all the radiators up full & the thermostat at 35🥵
On checking the meter, they’d used about £16 of gas in a 21 hour stay (& they were out for about 4 of those 21 hours)
This means we have to put our prices up to cover the few who really take advantage.
These were not old frail people.
Very frustrating & spoils it for reasonable guests.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/01/2023 22:22

Wow

25 and a T shirt

even 21 at night is warm

def get rid of him

LBFseBrom · 06/01/2023 22:25

25 seems reasonable to me when it is very cold. If the lodger only adjusts the radiator in his room it hardly affects the rest of the house.

However if you are not happy about this, ask him to find somewhere else to live and re-let your room to someone who doesn't mind wearing winter layers indoors.

Iseestupidpeople · 06/01/2023 22:40

Give him notice and kick him out the fact he is damaging the thermostat and disturbing the peace essentially is enough to get rid.

RandomMess · 06/01/2023 22:43

@LBFseBrom how does that work, what difference does it make what temperature it is outside?

25 is English summer "hot" weather, no one need their house that hot overnight year around, even 21 is on the top warm side for newborn babies.