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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School residential, school have said they have to go

456 replies

Y4GoingAway · 04/01/2023 12:39

School Year 4, but it’s a first school so the final year at the school.

Apparently it’s compulsory and there is no provision in school for those who don’t go as the class teachers plus several other staff go.

I don’t want DD to go. She has a genetic condition that affects her muscles and joints. She also has an EHCP due to SN (not ASD)

The trip is canoeing and rock climbing and zip lining and orienteering. Which all sound great but schools only adjustment for DDs condition is she can sit out if she wants to, which she won’t because she never does for Forest School or PE or anything else physical, school say they cannot force DD to sit out. They have PE, Forest School and the morning mile in one day at school and DDs generally screaming in pain by 2pm, I’ve asked for her to sit out of Forest School and the mile but been told that it’s up to DD to decide and she wants to be like her friends so will push herself until she can’t cope anymore – she’s missed school the next day because of the pain and school just shrug and say she needs to tell them when she wants to sit out, while in the next breath saying she seems to refuse to acknowledge her condition as she won’t talk about it!

This isn’t about DD being away overnight, she stays away from me with ExH EOWend for 1 night and he usually takes her away for 3-4 days in the summer holidays plus she’s just done a 3 day pack holiday with Brownies. Also it’s not a cost thing, the trip itself is free, we’re being asked to donate to transport there and back either by paying school for the bus or getting our DC there ourselves.
Brownies where brilliant, they let her choose one active activity per day and then put her in the group that wasn’t doing that activity after she’d done it, so she did crafts or similar, all the girls where given the same opportunity to sit out so no-one knew why DD only did 1 per day – and we’ve agreed that next time she goes she’ll do different activities so she’s tried different things which is a great compromise. Brownies also kept her topped up on her pain medication which school refuse to give her.

They’ve told me they have no provision for giving pain relief on the trip which is the same in school. They’ve also said if children sit out of an activity they will just have to watch everyone else do it, there’s no staffing for them to have a group at the centre they’re staying in doing something else – I even said DD would be happy to do worksheets or similar.

And before anyone says “But there’s more going with school” there’s the same number at Brownies and Brownies had a bigger age range as school only take the 90 year 4s, whereas Brownies had 60 Brownies (7-10 year olds), 30 guides (10-14 year olds), and a couple of Rainbows (7 year olds) who’re ready to move to Brownies soon.

School have said if she doesn’t go they will not be providing alternative work, she will be the only one in her entire year not going and she will be supervised by “whichever member off staff is free”. She does have 1-1 TA for parts of the day and one of her two 1-1s won’t be going and I’ve offered to get her tutor she has outside of school to provide work (tutor has already offered) and I’ve been told again the trip is compulsory. Apparently they've never had anyone not go ever.

So AIBU and just have to suck it up? The trip is after half term.

OP posts:
niugboo · 07/03/2023 21:28

I have to ask, why did you let it go?

Y4GoingAway · 07/03/2023 21:29

niugboo · 07/03/2023 21:28

I have to ask, why did you let it go?

@niugboo I was going to complain on DDs last day at the school as I didn't want a fuss, but physio complained to the Headteacher. I've met with the HT now and think its resolved.

OP posts:
niugboo · 07/03/2023 22:28

Y4GoingAway · 07/03/2023 21:29

@niugboo I was going to complain on DDs last day at the school as I didn't want a fuss, but physio complained to the Headteacher. I've met with the HT now and think its resolved.

Not wanting a fuss doesn’t help your child.

IsItThough · 07/03/2023 22:48

That HoKs2 should get a disciplinary, and should apologise.

I am so glad that DD had a positive week, and glad the Head is actively putting some measures in place to ensure it doesn't happen again.

SnowlayRoundabout · 08/03/2023 08:47

I'd love to know how the head of KS2 reacted to the Head's ruling, as presumably if he runs trips in future years he's not going to be allowed to refuse to take children with medical problems. Or maybe he's been eased out anyway or demoted from running the trips?

LovelyIssues · 20/05/2023 18:31

No trip is compulsory. That is not true OP. Though many children say they don't want to go but do and have the most amazing time. If your child really doesn't want to that's their choice.

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