To regret taking on dog and potentially rehome?

[amberstonelove]

I’ve wanted a dog since my eldest took a huge interest and love for dogs.

I thought it would be lovely for the children. It has been.

I knew I wanted a dog that wasn’t a puppy. I took on a 2 year old dog asked lots and lots of questions etc before taking her on. One of the biggest things for me was bypassing the puppy stage and not having to toilet train etc. The toilet training was a big thing for me. I didn’t want to do it.

The children adore her. My daughter cried when we bought her home. She’s a very sweet loving girl and follows us everywhere.

But I feel the previous owners covered up a lot of things. They didn’t tell us she was in season when we drove miles to get her, they forgot to tell us that she only eats a certain brand of subscription food otherwise she vomits like crazy. The promised and promised she was toilet trained…..

SHE IS NOT.

It’s driving me to despair. I have health anxiety and OCD and this dog I love her and so do the kids but it’s making me ill. My anxiety levels are sky high and i’m vomiting as a result and am in tears every day.
I feel like i’ve ruined our family dynamics even though the kids adore her.
A but I feel like i’m stuck with her now because I can’t bear the thought of breaking my children’s heart they are 3&8.

She is just weeing and pooing everywhere and does not understand going outside for toilets at all. She just stands there. I’ve tried everything.

AIBU to want to rehome her?

I feel so low about all of this. I deeply regret getting her.

Settling a rehomed dog has phases,
3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months.

You're absolutely right though, the people you got her from have lied to you, I have two dogs that I adopted from racing kennels and they were house trained and reliable within a couple of weeks. The way your dog is not suggests she's never been properly house trained.

Did she come from a private home, or a rescue centre? Most rescue centres offer ongoing support. Even if you got her from a private person, it might be worth contacting your local rescue centre for advice.

www.rescuedogs101.com/dog-rescue-survival-checklist/

www.animalfriends.co.uk/dog/dog-advice/dog-maintenance-and-safety/how-to-settle-a-rescue-dog-into-your-home/

They're a smashing dog!

There's a standard parti-coloured bitch who visits her grannie near us (they live dahn sarf somewhere), and although I've never been a fan of parti's, she's stunning - B&W, border-collie type patterning - v.unusual - and such an intelligent, sweet-natured girl.

It's also pointless brow-beating someone for being foolish/ making a mistake/ etc.

What has happened has happened and the most important thing to to try to sort the problem out, offering support and advice, and working towards a happy outcome. (And hoping that if someone reading the thread was on the point of making the same mistake, they now think twice about it.)

This sounds ridiculous but are you able to invest in some bells that hang on the door handle??? My dog started having accidents in the house ( no idea why, he was housetrained fine before) and we invested in the bells and after around 3-4 days he learned to knock the bells with his nose and I would open the door to let him outside! We don’t actually use them in the house anymore as it corrected the accidents 100% within a couple of weeks but they are brilliant to take with us if we all go on holidays etc as we don’t have to worry about him having an accident in the house. They really are amazing I didn’t expect them to work on my dog as he wasn’t a puppy and was unsure he would pick up a new trick!

That's heartbreaking, Annie. But obviously breeders won't produce more puppies that they can hope to sell to good, reliable homes.

I'm the other way when I meet a poodle - I practically "squee" with delight like some sort of half-wit! Every other dog round here is cockerdoodle this or labradoodle that, and meeting a real poodle is such a treat. The doodles are pleasant enough little dogs, but they offer nothing that a poodle doesn't. I really can't see the attraction.

Your dogs are gorgeous!

@Emotionalsupportviper , lots of somethingdoodles around where i live, and quite a few FBs. I don't 'get' why the doodle bit either.
I think poodles were considered a bit naff in the past, so maybe it's that.

I suspect the show cuts make people think that they are `'from-frou" dogs, and not very bright.

Nothing could be further from the truth (also - apologies for my post above, I mixed you up with Annie)

By naff i mean popular then falling out of popularity. There was a trend to style the fur into pompoms.
They are clever dogs and I'd much rather have a poodle than a mixed breed. Cockapoos and labradoodles are cute and lovely but you don't actually know if it will be like the non-poodle breed.

There's a dog i see regularly being walked and it's a smallish wiry mixed breed and she looks such a placid sweet family dog. I say hello to the owner, who I think of as Mrs Dogsname

Dogsname is not a poodle/non-shedding cross. I think of Dogsname as the best dog in Merrytown.

@Emotionalsupportviper , a relative has what i believe is a poodle but they say she's a -poo. i think maybe relative thinks they'd get snide comments if they said she's a poodle.

I'm glad things are better for OP and OPdog

The people talking about pedigrees vs mixed breeds don’t seem to understand where literally every single breed of dog originated from 😂

@Onebelow , you'll need to explain that one and why it's meant to be funny

Thank you @Emotionalsupportviper

@MerryChristmasToYou and @Emotionalsupportviper The cuts the Standards and Miniatures are shown in are traditional, as they had a purpose linked to what they were bred for. They are water retrieving gun dogs. They are shaved in places to help them be more aerodynamic, so they can cut through the water quicker. The Pom poms, are over their kidneys, tops of their heads and joints to stop those areas from becoming too cold. They were very hard-working dogs and are still sometimes used for work in other parts of the world. Once it’s understood, the show cost doesn’t (I hope) look silly.

I have two nine month old chihuahuas, got them at 12 weeks. And oh my god, even though I was prepared for it, the peeing and pooing inside drove me insane. I felt like my house constantly smelled and I was always anxious.

I literally started taking them out every 20 minutes unless they were sleeping. First thing in the morning, after bfast then every twenty minutes or so. I would open the back door, go out with them and say, ' go pee' or 'go toilet' if they hadn't done a poo in a while. Then when they did whatever I would make a massive deal and give them high reward treats.

It has finally clicked. Now I just have to shout 'go pee', click my fingers and point at the back door and they go and do it. It's made such a difference now they are toilet trained but it has taken perseverance and still I let them out at least every hour/hour and a half and if I'm out of the house I leave the back door open.

It takes time, consistency, a load of treats and standing about m

@AnnieSnap , there was a trend in the 1970s to take it further. i seem to recall ones dyed pink.

I suspect that @Onebelow 's comment was about me referring to the local mutt. There's a big difference between two pedigree crosses e,g pugalier (way too many risks) and a 'heinz 57' dog

My dream dog from childhood is one I'll probably never own - they are beautiful and have a lovely disposition, but highly likely to have issues and a short life. My heart says yes but my head says no.

My comment was nothing to do with you, I hadn’t even read your comments, so you can stop tagging me now 😉

Pure breed's can have health issues as well. My brother's sil had a lovely boxer. She was 4 when she suddenly started having siezures. She was put on meds but after a few weeks she was having that many she could hardly walk. She had to be PTS. But epilepsy is very common in boxer's.

@Onebelow , it was directly below my post, and it looked like it was.

Absolutely, a perfect example of a breed with a risk series health issues is the French Bulldog. Some breeds have had genetic health problems largely bred out over many generations of careful breeding. Others unfortunately (e.g. brachycephalic breeds, German Shepherds to name just two), have been bred in such a way that their genetic diseases are worse than ever.

@Wetblanket78 , boxers are known for being prone to health problems. At least you know with some pure bred that the breed isn't prone to them, but overbreeding for certain characteristics is almost certain to create problems.
A pure bred dog like a JRT is likely to be a fairly safe bet for a healthy dog, but a Parson JRT less so. JRT wasn't recognised as a pedigree until the late 1980s I think

I sympathise OP, I've had a similar issue with my rehomed dog, it's horrible but I hope you'll be able to get help with training because it will work. The alternative - the upset caused to your children, the devastation to the poor dog and the trauma of the guilt you will naturally feel - really doesn't bear thinking about.

I think you'll find that we do know - and that it is selective breeding for particular traits which has produced our hugely wide range of breeds.

The thing with a breed, as opposed to a cross, is that a" breed" breeds true. You breed a poodle with a poodle and you get another poodle and they will all have the same configuration, coat type etc.*

However if you breed (say) a cockerpoo with a cockerpoo you will get some with spaniel coats, some with poodle coats, some with a mixture of the two, and the proportions of the puppies can vary, too. It takes along time and a lot of specialised selective crossing of dogs over many generations to develop a breed.

I did hear that cockerpoos are now a recognised breed - I don't know of this is right or not, but I know that there are still a lot of people putting a spaniel and a poodle together and selling 1st generation crosses. This isn't a problem unless the buyer thinks they are getting a dog that will breed true.

*Occasionally there will be a "sport" or mutation springing up unexpectedly in a litter - these may be throwback characteristics or something completely unanticipated. Sometimes the breeder likes this characteristic and will breed from the pup to try to fix it. At other times it may be very undesirable and (especially if the health of the puppy is affected) it may be culled.

(Of course, often one person's unwanted feature is another person's desirable characteristic. I personally don't like "blue" labradors - I think it's a nasty, rusty colour and I don't care what anyone says, I think there is Weimaraner in there somewhere and it shows in the faces.

I'm starting to get used to blue staffies - it's a good solid colour and they are nice looking dogs - but I still vastly prefer the traditional reds, brindles and pied colours )

*My dream dog from childhood is one I'll probably never own - they are beautiful and have a lovely disposition, but highly likely to have issues and a short life. My heart says yes but my head says no.&

What breed is it @MerryChristmasToYou ?

<intrigued>

@Emotionalsupportviper Cockerpoos are not a recognised breed. I was proposed to the Kennel Club a couple of years ago, but thankfully nothing has come of that. I hope it stays that way going forward.

I too and intrigued by @MerryChristmasToYou dream dog 🤔