To regret taking on dog and potentially rehome?

[amberstonelove]

I’ve wanted a dog since my eldest took a huge interest and love for dogs.

I thought it would be lovely for the children. It has been.

I knew I wanted a dog that wasn’t a puppy. I took on a 2 year old dog asked lots and lots of questions etc before taking her on. One of the biggest things for me was bypassing the puppy stage and not having to toilet train etc. The toilet training was a big thing for me. I didn’t want to do it.

The children adore her. My daughter cried when we bought her home. She’s a very sweet loving girl and follows us everywhere.

But I feel the previous owners covered up a lot of things. They didn’t tell us she was in season when we drove miles to get her, they forgot to tell us that she only eats a certain brand of subscription food otherwise she vomits like crazy. The promised and promised she was toilet trained…..

SHE IS NOT.

It’s driving me to despair. I have health anxiety and OCD and this dog I love her and so do the kids but it’s making me ill. My anxiety levels are sky high and i’m vomiting as a result and am in tears every day.
I feel like i’ve ruined our family dynamics even though the kids adore her.
A but I feel like i’m stuck with her now because I can’t bear the thought of breaking my children’s heart they are 3&8.

She is just weeing and pooing everywhere and does not understand going outside for toilets at all. She just stands there. I’ve tried everything.

AIBU to want to rehome her?

I feel so low about all of this. I deeply regret getting her.

OP I also have OCD and would find that difficult to manage, you were lied to about the dog so YANBU to rehome.

Siamese Cats are wonderful. I’ve had them for 38 years (with a short break). They are the dog versions of cats. They adore their humans, come to call. You can even teach them to play fetch! Here are our two and a couple sadly gone now. The black one is an Oriental black. Essentially, a ‘self coloured’ Siamese. They get under your skin and establish themselves deep in the heart. I couldn’t imagine not having at least one.

Cats poo too though and bring in mice, frogs all kinds.

Yup.
My lovely Siamese pooped outside the litter box a lot in his last couple of years and also had fits of throwing up quite a lot.
He had regular vet care, but it was just part of him getting older.

@AnnieSnap , they look and sound amazing.

Cats would cause 5% the housework of dogs.

If you really are in despair OP then why not build her a nice warm doghouse outside?

She can come inside by invitation only and only when accompanied by a family member.

When I lived in Canada we had dogs and they lived outside all year round and never made messes in the house (although they weren't specifically trained for that).

If she has an accident in the house even when accompained she must be reprimanded and put outside immediately... longer than three seconds and she won't connect the behavior with the punishment.

Good luck. You can do this.

I have two Heinz 57 mutts, and a (rescue) French bulldog. She’s six now, but came to us age three, having already had three litters at a commercial puppy mill.

In any case, she wasn’t housebroken in the least. Frenchies are very food-motivated, and I used cheese, plus a clicker device.

I took four days where I took her out hourly into the garden, and clicked and treated whenever she peed/pooped outdoors (adding whatever code word you want). Then I lengthened the time in between taking her out. While you’re doing this training, it’s also good to keep the dog in a smaller space indoors, and not let them have total free roam of the home.

If you do stick with it, I’ll say that our Frenchie is the most loving, mellow dog. I guess we lucked out as she also doesn’t have any known health issues. And definitely no weedy body—she’s jacked!

You did that to a poor dog in Canadian Winters?! Unless it was made of bricks how on earth would it have been warm enough?!

And I can’t possibly leave out the two super mutts…

Depends on the breed of dog. A Frenchie needs to be kept warm, a husky not so much.

People have been unnecessarily harsh towards OP. We did everything right and it still went to shit. We did all the research, planning and thinking, literally over years including dog sitting for extended periods of time, and when the time was right we contacted the SPCA. We planned for every eventuality except one - that the SPCA would not be staffed by knowledgeable people and would in fact place a scared, highly anxious and potentially dangerous dog for adoption, and would recommend her to families with kids - which is the worst situation for our dog.

We've worked so hard with our doggie, including months with the best behaviourist in our area. She will be going on anti-anxiety meds in the next month, and the behaviourist has been clear this is a no-rehome situation. If together we cannot calm our dog down or cope with her extreme reactivity she will need to be euthanized. No one wants this - it is a heartbreaking position to be put in.

We're trying so hard, and are committed to at least another year, but at some point we are going to have to call it. We owe it to our dog and family to try everything possible before doing so, but we also owe our community to not keep a dangerous dog who could hurt or kill someone. I am so pissed off and upset we've (both us and our dog) been put in this situation, through a 'reputable' rescue. Never, ever again.

Thank you - I thought it was unlikely but several people have insisted that they are a "breed". I'm relieved to hear it.

I don't want tp lose the lovely poodle because people would rather pay 2 grand for one of these than half as much for a poodle, just to be on trend.

Dalmations aren't native to the UK (though they do have a high risk of deafness).

I also love English Bulls, @MerryChristmasToYou - a colleague of Mr Viper used to breed them and would bring pictures of his puppies in to work for n=me to drool over..

They are such handsome dogs, and those wicked little eyes twinkle with merriment.

Have you seen the miniatures? They are gorgeous!

Those cats are stunning, Annie. Absolutely beautiful!

Is it my imagination, though, or has the breed changed since "The Incredible Journey"? (The original, not the re-make). I have an idea that they used to be stockier, with rounder, flatter faces. (Could be me misremembering, of course)

People have been unnecessarily harsh towards OP.

I agree@Skydaze - the important thing is to try to get the problem sorted, and help the OP.

This is just a nasty comment and doesn't add anything to the conversation here. There is nothing "dumb" about @MerryChristmasToYou's post - if anything you are the dumb one for thinking it could be a Dalmatian.

My mam always wanted a Sealyham, but sadly never got one. They are quite hard to get hold of. Weren't they PrincessMargaret's favourite breed?

My DD had a beautiful great dane, but they are so short-lived. She would never get another, though, because he collapsed on a (short) walk and she couldn't lift him. She had to wait about half an hour for him to pull himself round to get up. (She'd forgotten her phone). A lady in a nearby house very kindly lent her a blanket to cover him with so that he woud be comfortable, and gave him a drink of water.

She has since said that she won't ever get a dog she can't pick up and carry.

But they are a wonderful breed, very gentle and so charming. He had lovely manners.

@Emotionalsupportviper , Thanks, and have a look here
I was welling up within moments.

@Skydaze makes a good point about rehoming a dog that has been rescued.

🥱

@amberstonelove I'm so sorry that you've been mislead.

For those saying that if you do regime, you should go through a breed specific charity I do agree.

However, you can get mislead by them as well. My DF took on a pug through a pug rescue charity and wasn't told about the special diet or the fact that if she eats a crumb of anything else she has diarrhoea and shits in the house.

That would be a deal breaker for me but my DF is utterly besotted and copes.

Not a good idea in the U.K. as dog this wing is rife and gardens are targeted for dogs left alone outside.

Oh, crikey! I'm weeping here . . .

I've never seen the film - just bits - but I read the book donkey's years ago and it was a real-tear-jerker.

Why on earth would you recommend this for a breed that's a huge target for dog theft?

“Why on earth would you recommend this for a breed that's a huge target for dog theft?”

It would solve OP’s problem though… gets rid of the dog without it being her fault 😉