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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stick to designated day off?

235 replies

HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 06:54

Am early 50's and work in a mid senior high pressure role in financial services. I've just dropped to a 4 day working week and taken a 20% pay cut. There was initially some resistance to me dropping my hours but I eventually got agreement. I've asked for the same day off each week and that was agreed.

Here's the dilemma - on only my second week of the new working pattern, one of my colleagues who was resistant to my drop in hours has put in an overnight stay which would mean me either travelling back home on my day off, or swapping my day off that week.

I don't want to start agreeing to swap days all the time as the whole point of me dropping my hours was to give me a better work life balance and be able to plan things for my non working day. WIBU to say that my day off is my day off and not be chopping and changing all of the time?

OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 03/01/2023 06:55

Absolutely stick to your day off and do not budge. xx💐

It puts you in an awkward position at first, but you are in the right, and they will soon get the message

KangarooKenny · 03/01/2023 06:55

Absolutely stick to it. I assume the set day off is written into a new contract ?

HollyBollyBooBoo · 03/01/2023 06:56

Stick to it and never budge otherwise it will become expected.

LolaSmiles · 03/01/2023 06:59

Stick to your day off, especially early days whilst getting a work pattern established

Give and take is reasonable for certain situations if you're in a senior role, but booking something for you that takes up your non-working day is unfair.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 06:59

KangarooKenny · 03/01/2023 06:55

Absolutely stick to it. I assume the set day off is written into a new contract ?

Yes it is. I guess I just feel a bit of guilt and an obligation to be flexible because there was some resistance to the change. But I'm taking a 20% pay cut so why the hell shouldn't I get my agreed day off.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 03/01/2023 07:03

You stick to working your contract then. If you give in once it will be taken that you can swap your day.
You need to come up with a reason as to why you can’t swap, like caring for the grand kids, something that can’t be moved.

Ragwort · 03/01/2023 07:03

Surely in a 'senior' role you do expect some sort of flexibility? If your role involves overnight stays how did you expect this to be accommodated? Can the overnight trip be easily switched to two working days? Do you have autonomy over your own diary?

I don't think it's as simple as saying 'stick to your days'. So many variations depending on your work culture.

HowVeryBizarre · 03/01/2023 07:07

What you don’t want to happen is for you to take a 20% pay cut but not actually get the time you sacrificed the money for. I would view your colleague’s behaviour as a bit of a passive aggressive act tbh. Stick to your guns for now, you can offer flexibility later if it suits you.

Ylvamoon · 03/01/2023 07:09

Depends on the overnight stay. Is it something that can easily be rearranged or booked for a different day in future? Or is it a set date?
Is the travelling considered as working time?

I'm inclined to move the day off but make it clear that in future you will not be able to do this.

olympicsrock · 03/01/2023 07:09

I think I would email the colleague reminding them of your day off and asking if the days of the trip can be swapped?
If not I would agree to swap the day off. Flexibility in a senior role can be good for all but it has to be balanced. Ask them to please try not to book things into this time in the future without checking with you first if it is possible.

ThinWomansBrain · 03/01/2023 07:11

When I've been working part time, I have been prepared to flex occasionally, making it clear that I am doing the employer a favour.
My primary motive is so that I can swap on occasions when it suits me though.

that's typically been in roles where i commenced with part time hours though; I can see the point of making a stand when it is a new - and contested - arrangement though.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 07:11

@Ylvamoon the travelling is definitely considered work time. I wouldn't be home til lunchtime the following day, after an evening out entertaining clients until late.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 03/01/2023 07:12

Stick to your guns. You don't have to be doing work things on your day off.

So either you join the overnight thing (assume it's a meeting/client visit offsite?) by zoom/teams/whatever, or it is moved do it doesn't impact your day off?

Remind them about the agreement, and agree that it will take some getting used to, but that you all need to work together to make it work.

daisymade · 03/01/2023 07:12

I dropped to four days once I’ve had children and In a high pressure fee earning role. If you don’t push back hard now, people will carry on doing this and the work/life enhancement of going to 4 days will be lost.

i do say I can be flexible if absolutely necessary and the agreement works both ways on that if I need to change a day, but wherever my diary works on my four days, it stays there.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 07:13

Also what has pissed me off is that it's literally the second week of my new working arrangement (it starts this week). I initially agreed to swap days off but am now regretting it and thinking of making up an excuse why I can't. Said colleague then arranged another meeting for the day I'd swapped to have off. Not a good start. This is a male colleague who thinks he's senior to me, but he's not.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 03/01/2023 07:14

of course, you could say that on this one occasion you will be flexible and move your day off to the next week so you are only working 3 days? (or something you can all live with)

but that in future you will not be entertaining this kind of thing at all (but actually, knowing that given enough advance warning you will, because management is also about knowing when to be flexible)

Brefugee · 03/01/2023 07:15

This is a male colleague who thinks he's senior to me, but he's not.

nip it right in the bud. Do this one to show goodwill, then get on to your manager, and make it clear that a) you will not be flexible on the whim of another co-worker and b) that this colleague is to be reminded of the team/company structure. And that since he is also in management he needs to be better

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 07:16

Also (sorry for the drip feed), they 100% know that my day off isn't for childcare reasons. It's just a day for me. So I feel like this will make them take the piss.

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 03/01/2023 07:18

I wouldn’t swap days. I’d stick to the set day off religiously till it was well established. And I wouldn’t feel guilty either you’re not being paid.

romdowa · 03/01/2023 07:20

Tell them you can't as you've a reacuuring appointment booked for your day off and can't reschedule

frazzledasarock · 03/01/2023 07:21

is your calendar not blocked out on the day you don’t work?

Ours usually are so people can’t put in meetings etc on days off.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 07:23

frazzledasarock · 03/01/2023 07:21

is your calendar not blocked out on the day you don’t work?

Ours usually are so people can’t put in meetings etc on days off.

Yep, but (some) people ignore that.

OP posts:
vroc81 · 03/01/2023 07:23

I was very firm on my day off for the first couple of years (had to be for childcare) this year I have been a bit more flexible because it also works in my favour when I’ve wanted a different day of the week off - quite handy when I swap now as I have a very peaceful days work and get loads done.. I would set the precedent you want at the start and stick with it.

rookiemere · 03/01/2023 07:25

I am in a similar position as I retain a NWD even though DS is now 16.

I block it out from my diary, but am prepared to be flexible if the occasion warrants it.

In your situation I'd probably agree on this one occasion - but make sure to take a different day off that week - but say that going forward you'll not be able to do that.

Incidentally which day is it ? Mines a Friday which makes it easier as not so many important meetings on that day.

Lkydfju · 03/01/2023 07:25

In my experience you have to be strict with your non working day as otherwise people just assume they can move it around; I used to try to be flexible but now I say I have plans