To stick to designated day off?

[HandbagsnGladrags]

Am early 50's and work in a mid senior high pressure role in financial services. I've just dropped to a 4 day working week and taken a 20% pay cut. There was initially some resistance to me dropping my hours but I eventually got agreement. I've asked for the same day off each week and that was agreed.

Here's the dilemma - on only my second week of the new working pattern, one of my colleagues who was resistant to my drop in hours has put in an overnight stay which would mean me either travelling back home on my day off, or swapping my day off that week.

I don't want to start agreeing to swap days all the time as the whole point of me dropping my hours was to give me a better work life balance and be able to plan things for my non working day. WIBU to say that my day off is my day off and not be chopping and changing all of the time?

Then throw the ball back in their court.

"(day) is my non working day, please rearrange for a day that I work"

Do not apologise. It's their problem. Not for you to run around and rearrange. They know your working pattern and have ignored it. You've got to nip this in the bud now or you could end up working full time with a 20% pay cut.

Hmmm you've already agreed, would look bad if you back track now. In my organisation flexibility works both ways. Your expected to be flexible if possible, and in return so are work. If you start sticking rigidly to no movement I'm not sure it would be seen well.

I think if you initially agreed then don't flip flop, say 'on this occasion I will be able to accommodate travelling back on my day off' but be resolute next time, remind people of the new arrangement and in future just say 'I have other regular commitments on a..' Then in future you can just say 'No, that doesn't work for me' or 'yes, I can accommodate that' (to flex for important requests which I would do).

For me it would depend how important the trip is. Generally, I'd say absolutely stick to the day off, but I would be flexible for important things. There's been resistance, I think you do need to make some effort to make it work.

If it's a trip that could have been done in your normal working week, then rearrange it.

Now you've agreed, you need to do it, but you need to be really clear about asserting your boundaries in future, especially if things lead into the next day because of travel. You can easily end up still working 5 days a week while only being paid for 4.

If people ignore calendars, that's their problem, not yours, but it will be your problem if you don't make your position clear, and you do need to be particularly clear in the early days while they are getting used to it and learning you aren't available every day.

Do not apologise. It's their problem. Not for you to run around and rearrange.

yep, where i work if you arrange a meeting by ignoring someone else's blocker - no matter what it's for - you're deep in the poop. And it is for the organiser to a) arrange for a new time and b) apologise for pissing people about due to their incompetence

This would annoy me too but if you’ve said yes, you’ve said yes.

be careful about being stubborn unless you are 100% sure you won’t want to swap your day for personal reasons, eg appointments, long weekend away etc. It’s either flexible, or it’s not.

This is a male colleague who thinks he's senior to me, but he's not
What a surprise. He has a bee in his bonnet about your work pattern and is probably trying to cause issues so he complain about it to a manager.

If travel is part of your role and it's reasonable for there to be give and take in a senior role (which there usually is), then what should happen is that the person making the arrangements should ask you if you're willing and able to swap your day off and give reasons.

The fact anyone has booked things without asking you is unprofessional.

You can show willing this time if you're happy to, but speak to your manager and ask them to make sure your colleagues are aware of the workplace structure and not to book things on people's non-working days.

Just decline the invitations. Any questions, refer them to your calendar where that day is blocked out. Don’t pander to them!

Have you agreed to this change and then decided against it? If so, I would reiterate this is a one off and will not be doing so again. If clients have been scheduled for entertaining, would someone else step in? Is he hoping to do so?

Say to colleague that you swapped your day off due to travel and then meeting booked for swapped day off.
In your opinion ‘x’ is more important than ‘y’ so you will take ‘z’ as your day off.
Going forward your day off is …. As is written in your contract and you will be unavailable for meetings or travel on that day.
Keep pushing back until it becomes the new norm.
Just like training teenagers really, stick to your guns and push back.

I'm flexible with my day off, or my working hours with enough notice. I've said clearly I need a week or two to juggle stuff around. This is bollocks it normally takes 5 minutes to rearrange my home life to fit around my day off.

The issue with moving stuff around with short notice is there's often something in your calendar which means you can't move your day off in that week.

I would tell the fool that you don't WANT to make it. And make a big play on the professional role modelling behaviour. It's
Important that junior staff are part time as a potential esp given the direction the market is moving (slight stab that he's out of date).

I am a senior woman in a largely male field. I do a LOT of role modelling. It's really really important that younger women (and men) know they can do the job flexibly.

But mainly he's a dick trying to make a power move.

If you have agreed already then don’t renege. But in future say a clear firm No to suggestions like this.

In this case I would then say No to the meeting that is on the other day you would like to take off, and point out this is your colleague’s fault for taking up your day off with travel.

also watch out REALLY closely - sounds like the kind of place that will still give you 5 days of work and expect it to be done in four, will not give you promotions or pay rises in line with expectations as you are not doing as much as everyone else.

good luck

There are others going, the thing can still happen without me.

I'd do this. Reiterate it by email to the overbearing colleague and copy in your manager. The fact that he's also booked in a meeting on the day you've swapped to sounds like he's passive aggressively trying to make a point. He might be using your changed work pattern to gain authority over you. Dick.

I think early on it's best to stick to it. At some point occasional flexibility would probably be useful for you but not yet, you need to show it works first

In a similar situation, I was initially flexible with my day off, but soon found that when I wanted to change the day off, that changing wasn't acceptable. After that I stuck to the agreed day.

I've also been awake since stupidly early stressing about this whole situation. And I feel resentful that making a change which is meant to make my life easier is actually causing me stress 😡

I used to be a PA, I can see how this has happened as the person likely looked at the day of the overnight stay and thought it was a working day without thinking through that the next day would be your day off. I'd swap this once (you never know, you might want to swap another time) and then I'd mark right through your dusty 'day off' and then the night before put a 'no overnight stay.'

In my experience colleagues don't purposefully put things in your diary to annoy you, but you do also need to make it crystal clear when you are and aren't available.

Diary, not dusty!

If you don't need the day for childcare or similar inflexibility it might be worth agreeing to this one but make sure you do have your none working day during the same week or following week, eg Monday rather than sucking up the lost half day but make it clear you've done them a favour and expect your none working day to be mostly fixed.

You will then have earned brownie points towards the next time they ask to swap a day, you'll find it easier to say no because they owe you one.

If it's the type of role where agreeing dates when everyone is available is difficult and the only sticking point is your none work day, which doesn't have to be on a certain day, it's worth you making the accommodation occasionally as it makes it less likely that they'll refuse these sorts of working patterns for others or see it as a negative in respect of your performance, commitment to work etc.

@TokyoSushi nah he was fully aware of what he was doing, no PA involved.

It's a tough one for me.

From what you've said it sounds like overnight stays are an occasional part of the job, rather than a one off thing.

Obviously you can't do them on your day off. And you don't want to do them the day before your day off. That means you're ruling out 2 of our 5 days, rather than just your 1 day off. Plus your work needs to accommodate any days the client can't do.

I think you need to put some boundaries in, but you're going to have to have some flexibility. I work 3 days, and my rules are; its an occasional thing, don't assume I can switch, give me at least a weeks notice, and the flexibility needs to work both ways.

And I feel resentful that making a change which is meant to make my life easier is actually causing me stress

this is something to mention to either HR or your own manager over coffee and an informal chat. As a heads up to them that this is not acceptable.

In my experience colleagues don't purposefully put things in your diary to annoy you, but you do also need to make it crystal clear when you are and aren't available.

you've had better colleagues than I've had (in the past)

I was once expected to attend a 3 week training course (that i hadn't requested, didn't want and certainly didn't need) in Asia at 2 days notice. And actually, I love going to asia and wouldn't have had a problem with it. But i was being pushed by another wannabe-my-manager and my boss thought it a great idea. So i said "no" and that was that until i was called "inflexible" on my next appraisal. Turns out that colleague was supposed to go but "wah wah - children" where he had a partner as a SAHM and i didn't. Also i'd gone to Asia plenty of times at short notice, in 2 cases with my mum covering me by flying in from UK to where i live, to facilitate this. So I made them change my appraisal.

This needs to be nipped in the bud straight away, but as someone else has said up thread does this one day off for you actually mean you can't do part of your role with the overnights and writes off two days? Either way, the firm agreed to it, your colleague needs to be made aware. He's probably really stupid and doesn't realise you've taken a pay cut to do this, either way, he needs to be brought up to speed. 'I don't work on that day, please rearrange'.