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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stick to designated day off?

235 replies

HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 06:54

Am early 50's and work in a mid senior high pressure role in financial services. I've just dropped to a 4 day working week and taken a 20% pay cut. There was initially some resistance to me dropping my hours but I eventually got agreement. I've asked for the same day off each week and that was agreed.

Here's the dilemma - on only my second week of the new working pattern, one of my colleagues who was resistant to my drop in hours has put in an overnight stay which would mean me either travelling back home on my day off, or swapping my day off that week.

I don't want to start agreeing to swap days all the time as the whole point of me dropping my hours was to give me a better work life balance and be able to plan things for my non working day. WIBU to say that my day off is my day off and not be chopping and changing all of the time?

OP posts:
Zombiemum1946 · 03/01/2023 09:53

As others have said, nip this in the bud. Being flexible is great, and can work both ways, BUT, there has to be a full understanding that it doesn't get messed around. If this is an essential event then it's up to you if push back on this one, if its just a jolly then make it clear you won't be there. This colleague is pushing to see how far he can take it and needs to be politely and calmly put back in his box.

Iamwhatiam52 · 03/01/2023 09:56

You aren't being 'inflexible'. You work a 4 day week. Therefore, ALL your work/travel needs to be WITHIN those 4 days. Advise your dickhead of a colleague of your new contract arrangements each time he tries to pull one.

Brefugee · 03/01/2023 10:00

I notice quite a few people nowadays will write "My working days are Mon-Thu" or similar in their email signatures. I genuinely find this quite helpful as so many people work flexibly these days it can be hard to remember who works which days!

this is very common where i work. In fact companies in my industry are falling over themselves to offer the very best working environment and work-life balance. It is amazing to see even partners say "that's not possible, i work 4 days" or something. And support even for relatively junior employees who work 3 days or whatever.

And one of my managers had an interview without coffee with his boss after trying to arrange Teams meetings once too often after 18:30 (I'm in Germany, i know our competitors have similar behaviours)

I notice quite a few people nowadays will write "My working days are Mon-Thu" or similar in their email signatures. I genuinely find this quite helpful as so many people work flexibly these days it can be hard to remember who works which days!

yy to this. It is really helpful for people trying to contact you as well as you being clear when you are available.

Prettypaisleyslippers · 03/01/2023 10:04

I work in a sector that requires entertainment, unfortunately it’s always mostly a Thursday night, this may come up a lot

roarfeckingroarr · 03/01/2023 10:06

If you're not expected to work, just to travel home, on your day off, I don't think it's that unreasonable an expectation.

You're in a fairly senior role. You can't essentially write off your day off AND the ones before and after for travel.

Bunnycat101 · 03/01/2023 10:07

Well done for taking a stand. I have worked 3 days and 4 days. When I did 3 days I ended up doing loads of extra work on my nwds and no-one appreciated it. It sort of just became expected. Now I do 4 days I am much more protective of it. I’ll take an emergency call if something is really going wrong and can’t wait but I do not book anything in ever. If you don’t respect your time off no-one else will (I learnt that the hard way). I have also found I need to protect an hour or so the day after my nwd to catch-up. You are not being paid for that day and you have every right not to be working it.

SchoolNightWine · 03/01/2023 10:09

roarfeckingroarr · 03/01/2023 10:06

If you're not expected to work, just to travel home, on your day off, I don't think it's that unreasonable an expectation.

You're in a fairly senior role. You can't essentially write off your day off AND the ones before and after for travel.

Actually it's more than unreasonable, it's unlawful.
You must be able to use any non working days (and days holidays) however you choose, and travelling due to a work event would stop this.

rookiemere · 03/01/2023 10:11

roarfeckingroarr · 03/01/2023 10:06

If you're not expected to work, just to travel home, on your day off, I don't think it's that unreasonable an expectation.

You're in a fairly senior role. You can't essentially write off your day off AND the ones before and after for travel.

But these evening evenings are not on a Friday as it is deemed unreasonable to expect people to do just that with their weekend.

I don't think colleagues choice of event or day was at all accidental, particularly if people think like above that it's no trouble to use your non paid hours for work travel.

I'd be very careful OP. Make sure you're absolutely doing your fair share of evening events when you can, if this is an expectation of your sector. Also - something I have perfected - volunteer for the odd thing which is close to your heart and can be made high profile. That way accusations of not being a team player cannot land on you.

Cherrysoup · 03/01/2023 10:12

HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 09:38

@DisforDarkChocolate nah nowhere exciting and the actual event is something I'm not arsed about. Think male orientated thing with no thought for the women involved who are going. God it's sounding worse the more I talk about it.

Anyway the deed is done. Have emailed stating I'm no longer able to change my non-working day that week as something has come up. Arsehole colleague can do one.

Good for you! Any nonsense about this and just re-send your email stating you have something on that day. Ignore work emails on your day off.

Dixiechickonhols · 03/01/2023 10:14

I wouldn’t swap for a routine meeting that could have been arranged differently. A one off annual all firm event yes.
I’d proceed as though you have a weekly commitment eg volunteering role or class and not change unless vital.
It’s equivalent to him travelling on a Sunday.
Remember you are paid less to get the day off.

WetLettuce2 · 03/01/2023 10:15

100% don’t budge this early on - you can be flexible further down the line if you want to (I wouldn’t).

LolaSmiles · 03/01/2023 10:15

If you're not expected to work, just to travel home, on your day off, I don't think it's that unreasonable an expectation.

You're in a fairly senior role. You can't essentially write off your day off AND the ones before and after for travel.

Full time colleagues would not be expected to be at work with clients on a Friday night and then lose a quarter of their weekend travelling home from a work event.

Part time work is no different. The OP is not paid for her time on a non-working day.

If there are regular travel/entertaining client events then this should be factored into which days are granted for non-working days. If OP's work arrangements have been approved then it's been agreed she does not work a particular day.

Butchyrestingface · 03/01/2023 10:19

Stick to your guns. Your feet are hardly back through the door and they're taking the piss already.

Some people - you give them an inch and they take a thousand miles. Sounds like your colleague may be one of them.

LittleDisaster · 03/01/2023 10:20

LolaSmiles · 03/01/2023 10:15

If you're not expected to work, just to travel home, on your day off, I don't think it's that unreasonable an expectation.

You're in a fairly senior role. You can't essentially write off your day off AND the ones before and after for travel.

Full time colleagues would not be expected to be at work with clients on a Friday night and then lose a quarter of their weekend travelling home from a work event.

Part time work is no different. The OP is not paid for her time on a non-working day.

If there are regular travel/entertaining client events then this should be factored into which days are granted for non-working days. If OP's work arrangements have been approved then it's been agreed she does not work a particular day.

I don't think it's unusual to travel in your own time. To travel to a conference on a Sunday evening, for example? It depends if FT staff would be expected to travel in their own time or not.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 10:20

Am 100% not travelling back from an event on a non working day. Fuck that - it's not reasonable, as some others have already said.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 03/01/2023 10:24

I don't think it's unusual to travel in your own time. To travel to a conference on a Sunday evening, for example? It depends if FT staff would be expected to travel in their own time or not.
I would imagine for a one off conference it would be a discussion between the worker and their line manager. That would form part of the give and take required in certain positions. That's how it works for DH.

A different colleague, who isn't more senior than OP, deliberately booking something that requires a newly part time worker to lose a chunk of their non-working day, and also booking things into a part time colleague's non-working day is 100% unreasonable.

Nobody can be directed to work in their non-working hours.

roarfeckingroarr · 03/01/2023 10:24

Ok if that's your boundary OP. I work 4 days too but take Wednesdays off, so if I applied the same rule I wouldn't be available for evenings with clients on Tuesdays or Wednesdays - or able to be in a meeting that requires travel on a Thursday morning either. I think that would be quite a big ask given the seniority of my role, plus I don't mind travelling, so I'm flexible. It's give and take.

2Rebecca · 03/01/2023 10:25

I suspect you are getting this hassle because it's the first few weeks of your new hours and you need to be inflexible the first couple of months so they get used to your new hours and coping without you.
If they need a flexi worker who can work different days each week then they advertise for one. Part timers are not flexi workers.

YoungForestElephant · 03/01/2023 10:30

May sound like a basic thing but i have found that blocking the entire day - so it shows purple as 'Out of Office' every week helps. In your case I would start the block from say 6pm on the Thursday - which stops these types of events being 'accidentally' put in your calendar on a Thursday night.

I found once I started to religiously block the time out people start to respect it. I think it also takes time for others to adjust but they will adjust.

In cases where you have to be flexible (for genuine emergencies etc.) then be ruthless about taking the time back. In this scenario I also wouldn't apply for the time - I would just take it. Again block it as out of office in your calendar.

DRS1970 · 03/01/2023 10:32

Stick to your day off, or make it explicit that it is a one off due to special circumstances caused by the overnight stay.

Brefugee · 03/01/2023 10:34

If you're not expected to work, just to travel home, on your day off, I don't think it's that unreasonable an expectation.

haha, fuck that. it is HUGELY unreasonable, especially since OP has said these events would never be on a Friday.

Back in my Army days i did (mad) shifts. But we all still had to do military training and PT, as did all the staff who didn't work shifts, and as a result of it being those people planning the training it was always done on our one day off in a cycle (not every cycle but probably once a month) which meant we worked every day for 16 days. And our complaints fell on deaf ears until our colonel decided to work a shift cycle or two with us to annoy us "keep his hand in". And luckily for us, it was an NBC training day. He finally got what we had been talking about and ever after all military training was done on a Saturday Grin because you can pull stunts like that in the military.

In civilian life? that would be illegal, i think?

Fraaahnces · 03/01/2023 10:35

Surely if you’re not employed to work that day, or not paid, then you’re not insured either? Could be potentially an issue…

rookiemere · 03/01/2023 10:38

I wouldn't routinely block out Thursday evening, as if there is an expectation in your role that you do attend evening events and they are within commuting distance of your home, then I'd say it is reasonable to expect you to attend those.

But Fridays- absolutely.

Aftersevens · 03/01/2023 10:40

Also what has pissed me off is that it's literally the second week of my new working arrangement (it starts this week).

I’m going against the consensus here in that, on this occasion, I’d agree to swap. The fact that it’s only week two is the reason I would, rather than wouldn’t. I’d be very clear and say, I will do it this week as I understand new arrangements can take a while to get used to. But ongoing, I will be sticking to my designated day off.

AlisonDonut · 03/01/2023 10:43

I used to work 4 days a week until I retired, and yes you have to take it.

I'd respond in this instance that I would be flexible on this one occasion but then I'd block out any meetings from 5pm on the Thursday to 9pm on Monday as 'do not book' so that if anyone does a search on your diary it will come up with booked. I'd take the Wednesday that week or 2 days the next week to make up for it.

I'd email the person that did the booking and say 'Unfortunately, you have forgotten that I am now on a 4 day week and finish work at 5pm on Thursdays. I'll change my non working day this one time but please note that you have now had notice and I'll not be changing it again. Please do not book any evening meetings or events for me on a Thursday night, or at any time on a Friday.'

If anyone does book anything on those days, decline the meeting/event etc. And leave them to deal with it. And take back control of your diary so that other people can't keep booking you when you are not there.