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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stick to designated day off?

235 replies

HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 06:54

Am early 50's and work in a mid senior high pressure role in financial services. I've just dropped to a 4 day working week and taken a 20% pay cut. There was initially some resistance to me dropping my hours but I eventually got agreement. I've asked for the same day off each week and that was agreed.

Here's the dilemma - on only my second week of the new working pattern, one of my colleagues who was resistant to my drop in hours has put in an overnight stay which would mean me either travelling back home on my day off, or swapping my day off that week.

I don't want to start agreeing to swap days all the time as the whole point of me dropping my hours was to give me a better work life balance and be able to plan things for my non working day. WIBU to say that my day off is my day off and not be chopping and changing all of the time?

OP posts:
Reluctantadult · 03/01/2023 08:00

What would happen if the event was on a Friday though? Or would they just never do that because of implications for Sat?

RedHelenB · 03/01/2023 08:01

HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 07:47

There are others going, the thing can still happen without me.

Show quote history

If it can happen without you then stick to your day off and don't go.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 08:02

Reluctantadult · 03/01/2023 08:00

What would happen if the event was on a Friday though? Or would they just never do that because of implications for Sat?

They wouldn't arrange an overnight on a Friday.

To be clear, I have no problem with travelling on a Thursday as long as I get home that day. This is a Thursday evening event 2.5 hours away from my home where it's expected that you'll be out until the client wants to go back to their hotel, often after midnight.

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 03/01/2023 08:04

He's done it on purpose. He's trying to assert himself. Definite power play.

Would he do it to someone else? For eg if they had a day booked off.

Put your foot down now or expect it to happen again and again.

poetryandwine · 03/01/2023 08:04

I agree with PPs that, unfortunately, the key issue now is that you have already agreed to do this. Your reputation will take the hit if you back out now, however unfair that may be.

The guy is undoubtedly being PA and I agree this may have been deliberate. In the future, continue to block out your regular day off. Every week, you must claim to have unbreakable plans for this day (that are no one’s business), unless you feel that a request for flexibility is reasonable for your office culture or in your own interest to grant. If any particular person consistently disrespects your diary, alert your manager.

Really, really annoying!

Fraaahnces · 03/01/2023 08:05

Or you could do it but charge them overtime.

rookiemere · 03/01/2023 08:05

The meeting that arse colleague arranged on your rescheduled day off - is that something you need to be at ?

Brefugee · 03/01/2023 08:05

as before, if you have already agreed do this, but make sure you get time off in lieu. Or join the meeting by remote access and apologise for not being at the evening activities due to other commitments. (there is never a need to justify this to clients, just that there were other commitments outside your control)

Then stick to your actual day off. But if overnights are a regular occurrance for you, where other people from your company are involved, you need to find a way of handling this in future.

But kick that up to your own managers who agreed to your reduction in days.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 08:07

rookiemere · 03/01/2023 08:05

The meeting that arse colleague arranged on your rescheduled day off - is that something you need to be at ?

There is no meeting, it's just a jolly! Honestly, the more I think about this the more I think I need to take a stand against arsehole colleague.

OP posts:
UpdownUpdownAltogetherNow · 03/01/2023 08:08

I work three days a week and I am somewhat flexible with my working days if I want to be. If you’ve said you’ll swap days for this event then I’d stick to it but I’d make the point that in future you need to be consulted before anything is booked for a non-working day.

Is it possible for you to take the day in lieu? If I’m asked to work on non-working days I usually take the day off on another day that suits me and that can be many months away when I want an extra long weekend for example.

littlefireseverywhere · 03/01/2023 08:08

Could you not be flexible this time & just either take another day that week or the following Monday so you get a long weekend? I also work flexibly 4 days a week & take off whatever day is easiest for me. It’s made appointments, family commitments & hobbies so much easier to navigate.

fajitaaaa · 03/01/2023 08:09

I have a similar arrangement. I absolutely will not swap my day off. It is in my contact that I do not work that day so I do not work that day. You have to be firm with it - a breezy Tuesday is a non working day. And if it carries on be blunt, you aren't contracted to work that day. It's like a weekend etc. I would also use the non working day language rather than "day off" so it doesn't get confused with holiday.

echt · 03/01/2023 08:09

It sounds like just words, but push back on "day off". You get paid for a day off, e.g. a Bank Holiday. "Day off" sounds like you're being done a favour when you aren't being paid, your pension isn't being paid.

Non-working day is clumsy so why not NWD? We all use WRH without a blink.

Also, never explain your use of your NWD. "I have other commitments", if pressed.

Actually, now I'm here, fuck 'em. Say you'll work your NWD for double time.

fajitaaaa · 03/01/2023 08:10

RedHelenB · 03/01/2023 08:01

If it can happen without you then stick to your day off and don't go.

Show quote history

Agreed. Assume they know you won't be there.

LlynTegid · 03/01/2023 08:10

I am not in financial services but for the last 4 years have done as you are doing.

No-one even dares ask as they know I am not going to accept any change in my non-work day. The only time I ever made an exception was for a 30 minute call the day the pandemic restrictions came in March 2020.

GarlicCrackers · 03/01/2023 08:10

Ok let’s imagine you started the job on a 4 day contract originally. How would you feel about it then? I’d imagine you’d be pretty pissed off as you’re contracted for 4 days.

Im awful for this, I work all days, all nights, all hours, but they’re about to get a shock when this baby comes in 4 weeks…..

Lndnmummy · 03/01/2023 08:10

HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 06:54

Am early 50's and work in a mid senior high pressure role in financial services. I've just dropped to a 4 day working week and taken a 20% pay cut. There was initially some resistance to me dropping my hours but I eventually got agreement. I've asked for the same day off each week and that was agreed.

Here's the dilemma - on only my second week of the new working pattern, one of my colleagues who was resistant to my drop in hours has put in an overnight stay which would mean me either travelling back home on my day off, or swapping my day off that week.

I don't want to start agreeing to swap days all the time as the whole point of me dropping my hours was to give me a better work life balance and be able to plan things for my non working day. WIBU to say that my day off is my day off and not be chopping and changing all of the time?

Stick to it OP! Otherwise you will soon be working your usual hours with a 20% paycut! (Been there...)

pictoosh · 03/01/2023 08:11

romdowa · 03/01/2023 07:20

Tell them you can't as you've a reacuuring appointment booked for your day off and can't reschedule

What a stupid transparent lie. Would you really pedal this shit out and expect credibility?
I'm not fond of people who lie...especially when there's no call for it. Decieitful for the sake of it.

OP just politely stick to your guns. They'll soon accept that your day off isn't flexible.

fajitaaaa · 03/01/2023 08:11

echt · 03/01/2023 08:09

It sounds like just words, but push back on "day off". You get paid for a day off, e.g. a Bank Holiday. "Day off" sounds like you're being done a favour when you aren't being paid, your pension isn't being paid.

Non-working day is clumsy so why not NWD? We all use WRH without a blink.

Also, never explain your use of your NWD. "I have other commitments", if pressed.

Actually, now I'm here, fuck 'em. Say you'll work your NWD for double time.

Yes yes to this.

Even when people are using it in a polite context I switch it to non working day. People need to understand you are not having paid time off.

fajitaaaa · 03/01/2023 08:12

I made an exception once at tax year end when someone vital had called in sick. I did it as a massive favour and took the time off in lieu. It was absolutely not expected of me.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 03/01/2023 08:12

You will need to stand firm. And I agree with the language for your non working day.

Lndnmummy · 03/01/2023 08:13

HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 08:07

There is no meeting, it's just a jolly! Honestly, the more I think about this the more I think I need to take a stand against arsehole colleague.

Show quote history

You do! And other posters are right. Its a non working day, not a 'day off'.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 08:13

Good point re the NWD language - will use that.

OP posts:
Princessglittery · 03/01/2023 08:14

HandbagsnGladrags · 03/01/2023 07:13

Also what has pissed me off is that it's literally the second week of my new working arrangement (it starts this week). I initially agreed to swap days off but am now regretting it and thinking of making up an excuse why I can't. Said colleague then arranged another meeting for the day I'd swapped to have off. Not a good start. This is a male colleague who thinks he's senior to me, but he's not.

@HandbagsnGladrags Definitely push back, hard if necessary, say I can do trip or meeting but not both. If he says both then say great I’ll take 2 days next week, my NWD and a day in lieu.

Your colleague is trying to prove your working pattern is causing a problem.

If you had established your working pattern I would advise you to be flexible and swap days, but this is a peer, not a manager, who is trying to prove a point.

Zezet · 03/01/2023 08:14

Another vote that you MUST cheerfully stick with the new pattern for at least one to two months if you want this to work.

The key is to do it cheerfully though. 'Oh, sorry, I saw you tried to schedule me for X event, that won't work, I have an engagement on the [date], that's a weekend day for me.' (Yes, you should feel free to refer to a Friday as your weekend, which it is! And 'tried to schedule', to subtly stress it's not and has never been confirmed.)