Why are some people on here so horrible?

[Wheeesht3]

has anyone else noticed an increase in certain posters who consistently comment with horrible, insulting and deliberately unhelpful things?

im not talking about posts where the OP can’t accept the truth, or where they don’t like to be told they are being unreasonable. I’m talking about certain commenters consistently posting horrible comments. You can recognise it by their username in some cases.

does MN deal with them? There’s several posters I can think of off the top of my head who are horrible everytime they comment, and half the time their comments end up being deleted for being horrible. Maybe it’s just me but I’ve definitely noticed an increase in it recently.

Well said, MrsTP. I’ve never seen anyone call you a cunt either!

Now's the time @PrincessNakatomi

I was just so aghast that MN allowed users to use the word "cunt" that it felt like a weird novelty for me at first on here. So many places don't allow it, I felt like I was given permission to use it. I dont even normally use the word cunt but by week two I'm replying to the OP like:

Tell your cunt-face SIL to stop being such a cunty bitch by spreading rumours and then cunting around. The cunt.

The thing I loathe most on here is when posters hijack a thread to argue a specific point & they go back & forth with a couple of other posters. It ruins what is often an interesting discussion. It’s like they MUST be right and won’t stop trying to make others agree with them. Craziness & quite selfish.

Yes you are right!!!

And this literally happens
EVERY👏SINGLE👏TIME👏

I see it quite a lot too. Some people seem to find pleasure in escalating the tone of a conversation. They often take comments out of context and twist the meaning to get a reaction. I can only guess it's because they find it fun.

As for reporting it, it's difficult. It's not normally a direct personal attack (shut up you poopy head) but more subtle but still often as hurtful due to the snarkiness, passive aggression and condescension.

I agree there are some horribly arrogant, contrarian and small minded people on here. Without them it would be a lovely, supportive place where more women would reach out for support

Mumsnet is full of abrasive replies such as just tell them to f off. No one speaks like that in real life without being either called out or disowned. It's certainly not how 'Telling them how it is', is defined.
It's embarrassing.
Being pleasant and polite is better received than being vulgar and sweary.

You're right - there'll be a throwaway comment on page 6 of a thread and it will generate a poster constantly coming back to this one point, like a dog with a bone.

It's so strange seeing threads like this where the OP says people are horrible then proceeds to be horrible about others, with their cheerleaders doing the same.

I agree a sort of hypocrisy or reverse bullying.

Some people obviously don't want debate just general agreement and if not they flounce or make up posts to garner sympathy.

I think it would be pretty bland on here if everyone had the same point of view.
A bit like a lovely Ned Flander's MN. 😂

No, you're not being unreasonable, OP. There are areas and topics 'safer' than others, I've found.

Ive never been called a cunt, or anything like it, but I've seen from others who've been pounced on because somebody hasn't bothered to read the thread or their post properly, lacks the capacity to understand or is just having a bad day, and feeling braver than they would in real life, face to face, under anonymity on the internet. It's the same people on the threads doing this.

If even Tattle (with their reputation) think Mumsnet is harsh and unsupportive, then that's saying something, in my opinion. I agree entirely.

And as my post went on to say, @Ayeaken:

That's not to justify nastiness, but also to make it clear that plain speaking and direct responses, without needing to sugar coat things, are both welcomed

So please don't make out that I was justifying nasty responses.

@CallieQ

Talk Guidelines

Posts wouldn't get deleted simply because of a disagreement; more the way the post has been phrased

Go back more than ten years and it was REALLY nasty! You have to expect a bit of that on here - builds character!

I posted in a thread about whether Kanye West could cause an increase in anti-semitism. I didn't create the thread, but just posted in it. A rather, er, unhinged poster attacked me purely because I called them out on their attempt to derail the thread by talking about Islamophobia. Both are are equally bad, but as I said, the thread is specifically about anti-semitism. Well this poster went nuts at me, saying I am bigoted against Muslims (despite coming from a family), I'm Islamophobic, I am trying to hide my Islamophobia, etc etc. All because I reminded them the thread was about anti-semitism. The gaslighting by that poster was unreal and had to be seen to be believed. There are some very, very sick and unhinged people out there desperate to start an argument.

What were you banned for BIWI? It was mentioned on another thread in site stuff.

I was banned for criticising MNHQ's decision to accept advertising for a breastfeeding biscuit.

Instead of posting 'WTAF were you thinking [name of MNHQ mod who'd posted the thread publicising it]?' I posted 'What the actual fuck were you thinking ... ' and so I was banned. For a few hours.

HTH.

Ok

Your point?

I posted 'What the actual fuck were you thinking ... ' and so I was banned

That's the sort of post that is the problem, so I can see why you were banned. You're fortunate they overturned it. It is possible to strongly disagree in a different, non offensive way you know.

Posters should be supported no matter what then? No disagreement, just blind support?

Over half of the threads across the Forum and at least 90% of them in AIBU do not require 'support' and are there just to garner opinions, chew the fat or just, you know, debate a point of view.

If an Op asks the question 'What do you think/What is your opinion on this?' then posters will say what they think/give their opinion. If that's not what the Op wants to hear then, frankly, tough. Don't ask questions or for opinions if you only want certain answers/curated opinions/everyone to agree with you because that won't happen, not here and not out there in the real world either.

It's not offensive to say "what the fuck were you thinking", though. If she'd have said "what on Earth were you thinking" she probably wouldn't have been banned - but the word fuck isn't offensive.

I told someone to get to fuck once and the post got removed as apparently that constitutes a personal attack - even though I was responding to them challenging something completely inoffensive id said. If id have said "give your head a wobble" it wouldn't have been classed as a personal attack, even though it means the exact same thing.

If people are offended by the word 'fuck' that's their lookout.

"massive increase in it recently."

Nope. One pp said I've been here 2 weeks.....

Most of us have been here 5+ years. 20, 15, 20 years some posters. This drivel gets rehashed all the time.