Why are some people on here so horrible?

[Wheeesht3]

has anyone else noticed an increase in certain posters who consistently comment with horrible, insulting and deliberately unhelpful things?

im not talking about posts where the OP can’t accept the truth, or where they don’t like to be told they are being unreasonable. I’m talking about certain commenters consistently posting horrible comments. You can recognise it by their username in some cases.

does MN deal with them? There’s several posters I can think of off the top of my head who are horrible everytime they comment, and half the time their comments end up being deleted for being horrible. Maybe it’s just me but I’ve definitely noticed an increase in it recently.

It's not offensive to say "what the fuck were you thinking", though. If she'd have said "what on Earth were you thinking" she probably wouldn't have been banned - but the word fuck isn't offensive.

True. I'd have thought that warranted a warning email, if a first 'offence' rather than a ban, but perhaps it wasn't, we don't know any of the details.

A first offence?!

A warning for what, though? For someone being offended by someone else's choice of language?

She didn't personally attack anyone.

but the word fuck isn't offensive.

Is it not though? Why can it not be said in school in class, or the Houses of Parliament during a session?

A warning for what, though? For someone being offended by someone else's choice of language? She didn't personally attack anyone.

I'm as baffled as you are. We really don't know the details though.
I can see why asking MNHQ what the fuck they were thinking might be offensive, but an immediate ban .

Agree @Diverging

And we're obviously allowed to swear but direct it at a poster and you'll find you've broken guidelines.

Because there's a time and a place. For the same reason we don't talk about our toilet habits at a family meal but might when speaking to a doctor or spouse. It's not offensive - it's just not always appropriate.

The posters who clearly have the ability to time travel irritate me. Go back in time and don't marry your OH. Go back in time and don't have children with your OH. Helpful.

I find that slightly offensive as I haven’t been horrible to anyone! I have however, politely stuck up for myself to people who have suggested that my post was part of some kind of campaign (it’s not) and who have low key interrogated me for name changing. I haven’t sworn, been rude, or been horrible to anyone thank you very much.

@Wheeesht3 I think ganging up with another poster making digs at someone unknown to everyone except the two of you, and not calling out the other poster calling them a 'crank' is pretty nasty.

Yep, talking about that poster behind their back giving them no opportunity to defend themselves or put their side is pretty horrible OP, something you say you disagree with, do you not think that is rather hypocritical of you?

If you and the other poster have a beef with this particular individual the decent thing to do would be to address your issues with them directly or with MNHQ not start a thread to snark about them.

We haven’t mentioned any names, absolutely nobody knows who we are talking about (I don’t even know if they are talking about the same person as me!) and nobody even knows who that person is calling a crank!

Following your logic, what about all the people ganging up on me and suggesting my post isn’t genuine? Or interrogating me for NC? Why don’t you have anything to say about that?

Because they're telling you how they feel about you or your opinions on a thread where you've asked for them - not making snarky comments for everyone to see without speaking to the person themselves @Wheeesht3

I haven't noticed this, no. I'm not on MN enough to take any notice of usernames these days - I literally don't "recognise" anyone.

We are not talking about anyone behind their back though- we haven’t mentioned any names, any identifying information, other than me saying we are probably talking about the same person! That’s it. How could we give someone an opportunity to defend themselves when the person hasn’t even been identified at all?!

By the same logic, the posters here who are commenting about all the other threads about the same topic are being horrible, since they’re not giving them the chance to defend themselves.

At least posters are questioning you to your face on this thread not chuntering about you on another thread that you are not on and cannot defend yourself or put your side/point of view across.

As for no-one knows who was called a crank, I though you were against that kind of comment? Or is it okay as long as the person it is about doesn't see it and you agree with it? Double standards?

Absolutely. I'd rather someone tell me I'm a bit of a prick (because sometimes I am!) than have people slag me off behind my back, even if I'm never going to find out about it.

Right, if the person who I’m thinking of sees this and miraculously knows I’m talking abiht the, despite no identifying information about them or what they’ve said and despite the fact I’ve NC so there’s no way to see who I’m referring to, but if they by some miracle know I’m talking about them, then I’ll apologise.

and no, they’re not giving their opinions on the thread. They were giving their opinions on me. Which is not what the thread is about. If they have any concerns they should have reported me and MN could have assured them I was legit. Instead of badgering me constantly for NC or for why I didn’t see similar threads. I think that’s pretty unkind but we clearly differ in opinions.

But the point is someone else can pitch in and name names and say ‘Oh, do you mean xxx or xxx’. Once you start a thread like this, you’re basically inviting people to share names and make it a TAATs.

And who has said your post isn’t genuine?

@SugarplumFairyyy - agree 100%

@Wheeesht3 so it's only nasty to slag someone off if they know you're doing it? Nope...

i think it’s perfectly ok to call someone a name if they’ve offended you or done something to you that warrants it. I’ve been called a selfish dick on here when I made a post about going NC with an abusive family member. I think it would be fair enough to call that person a crank. I was called a cunt for going to a&e and wasting peoples time for stupid symptoms (I posted because I wasn’t sure if it warranted a&e and everyone said it did so I went- apart from one person who instead of saying no, they wrote an entire paragraph calling me a cunt) so i think it’s ok to call that person a crank too.

I don’t know why the other poster called them a crank. I can only speak for name calling when it’s myself and whether I deserve it or not.

there’s a difference between questioning and badgering. I’m also struggling to see why it’s nasty to say to someone lightheartedly that we’re probably talking about the same person, despite no identifying information and absolutely no way of knowing if we are. You’re being pedantic and you know nobody was offended by that.

No one suggested you weren't genuine @Wheeesht3 threads like this are started all the time and they always turn into pile ons as you can see.

But I’ve already got a few names in my mind now, so may others. What’s to stop someone else naming people?

Or maybe some people just have a low tolerance to stupid and are not afraid to speak their minds. I rarely see much, particularly nasty.