Was this rude? (Please ignore if your problems are never trivial; this is!)

[SarahAndQuack]

DP and I went to a small party at my boss's home; he'd cooked a roast dinner. DP looked at it and said 'ooh, potato gratin for the third day in a row!' to me. I thought this was rude so said something like 'it all looks really delicious!' Since I'd not acknowledged the comment, DP repeated 'we've had potato gratin three days in a row now!' DP did also, to be fair, say it was delicious. We are now disagreeing. DP thinks it was a perfectly fine comment and doesn't really believe me that it was rude. I think it was rude.

Who is right?

It's rude, why would he even comment. Its the sort of thing a 5 yo would say, or my teen autistic DS who has no filter.

Definitely rude

I would find that rude if I was the host. Especially as it's likely they made a gratin as a change from standard roasties.

It’s rude. I strongly dislike people who make comments like that. Just say it looks lovely ffs.

It does come across as a bit rude, in my opinion. It implies being fed up with the food, regardless of how it's said. No host wants to feel their guests are fed up with the food they're serving.

To you, not rude, just factual.

In earshot of the host, absolutely rude and unnecessary. May as well have just yawned loudly and said “oh god, this again!”

He was really rude. Whether it was true or not it is not your boss’ fault and makes it sound really ungrateful and like he is sick of eating it. If someone has cooked something you ate even for the meal directly before you still wouldn’t mention it in front of the cook!

Rude and the sort of thing I'd find really annoying. Does he normally struggle socially?

I think it was one of those things I wouldn’t personally say but she did also say it was delicious so I don’t think it was terribly rude to be honest.

I didn’t think it was too bad the first time, it seemed like he said it as in it was a nice thing. But it was unnecessary to repeat it with more emphasis.

It’s an inside thought, for sure.

So rude! No need!

It’s rude I would expect someone without any social skills or filter to say this so either someone who is really rude and doesn’t care or someone who’s neurodivergent and not knowing what to say in social situations forms part of their ND

I actually don't know. Was it "lucky us!" tone of voice or "ugh not again"?

I think the first time he said it, it was fine, but I think it was rude that he felt the need to repeat it.

He was being hosted and cooked for, and it sounds like the meal was delicious and a lot of work had been put into it, and his comment suggests he’s not really appreciating all of that.

Also, he was being hosted by your boss - appreciate it’s never easy to relax when you’re in a semi-work/semi-casual environment, so maybe he was a bit nervous and this just slipped out as an attempt at humour, but I think he could’ve been a bit more diplomatic. Maybe he thought he was being funny/irreverent - what’s his sense of humour like? How is he when he’s with your friends and family?

Depends if you really like potato gratin as to whether it comes across as "3 times in a row isnt this brilliant" or "fucksake not again"

Rude.

Definitely rude.

Yep, rude.

Rude

Wow, thanks, lots of replies!

YY, @Tropicalsunshine, that's what I thought. It's a slight change from a normal roast so I suspected it was planned on the hope it'd be a bit of a change.

Those asking if DP struggles socially - I often feel a bit embarrassed by comments like these; DP always expresses complete bemusement and makes me feel I'm being overly sensitive; she really doesn't follow why it is rude. I don't think she automatically puts herself in someone else's place to think how the comment might sound to them. I know she adores potato gratin and was delighted; someone else won't.

Rude if host heard

Very rude, and child like in it's rudeness - especially the repeating. I would have struggled with that.

It was rude to say it once, but to repeat it was ridiculous!

Rude and unnecessary.